The Natives Are Restless

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 42 of BABY HEISTER, Doc, Kelsey, Jo and Simon settle in for the night in their back up safe house in the sleazy hotel next door. Meanwhile, robbery/homicide cops Flint Cole and Darryl Rooker find Doc's old hideout and try to figure out a way to get inside ...


EXT. WAREHOUSE - DAY
An unmarked Crown Vic
is parked at the curb.

Flint Cole and Darryl Rooker
stand on the sidewalk
looking at the building.

DARRYL
What the fuck was THAT?

FLINT
Sounds like the natives are restless.

They RUN to the front door.

INT. SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - DUSK
Simon and Kelsey sit on the bed.
Jo, on a wooden chair.

Doc closes the adjoining door to the loft.
Grabs a handle on the wall, SHOVES it down.
We hear a CHINK, CHINK, CHINK.

KELSEY
What’s that?

DOC
Steel rods.
They go through the door.

Even if they could find it,
they couldn’t open it.

KELSEY
But we’re still fucked.
The entire area is gonna be
swarming with cops when they
find the truck in the elevator shaft.

DOC
Not necessarily.
One of the reasons I chose
these buildings is the rooftops
on the whole block are connected.
They’re gonna think we went up
to the roof and escaped.
(beat)
So now we just chill out
and get a good night’s sleep.
We need to be rested for
the bank job tomorrow morning.

KELSEY
What about the semi?

DOC
I’ve got it handled.
I made a call.

KELSEY
But where’s the semi gonna TAKE us?
We need to figure out --

DOC
Relax.
I have an old friend
down in the Marina,
Zulf Masters, a retired yegg.

KELSEY
How’s a safecracker gonna help us?

PUSH IN ON Jo’s face. Smiling.

JO
He sells boats.

EXT. DOC’S WAREHOUSE - DUSK
A SWAT truck is at the curb.
and Darryl talk with the
TACTICAL FORCE COMMANDER, (40’s),
big, tough, no-nonsense.

SWAT COMMANDER
We gotta problem.
The door to the stairs
has been welded shut.
Only way up is on the elevator --

FLINT
Which is now toast,
with dead heisters, over easy.

DARRYL
Can someone climb up the cables?

SWAT COMMANDER
They’ve been cut.

FLINT
And the windows are secured --

DARRYL
(to SWAT Commander)
What do you think?
You’re the expert.

SWAT COMMANDER
We go up to the roof,
blow a hole, then go in.

FLINT
He’s not there.

DARRYL
Bullshit.
could he have gone?

FLINT
After those two assholes tried
double-cross and crash-landed,
he split.
(points)
See the roofs up there?
They’re connected.
He could be anywhere by now.

DARRYL
I say he’s still in there.
(to Swat Commander)
Go ahead.
Blow the fucker up.

Golden Parachute

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 41 of BABY HEISTER, after Kelsey, Doc, Simon and Jo move into the 'backup safe house' next door to the warehouse, the shit hits the fan when Atlas and Helmut pull a double cross and try to escape with Doc's stash ...


INT. SHITTY HOTEL SUITE - DAY
A threadbare room, complete with
the requisite threadbare furniture.

Threadbare rug.
Shitty painting of a ship at sea.

Doc stands in the middle of room.
Kelsey and Jo look at the
environs with distaste.
The bare mattress on the bed.

DOC
I know it’s not The Ritz.
But it’s only temporary.

KELSEY
But there’s six of us --

DOC
Oh, there’s plenty of rooms, don’t worry.

A car engine ROARS next door.

JO
What’s that?

DOC
Those assholes are trying a CROSS.

INT. DOC’S LOFT - DAY
Jack Cotton’s truck sits in the elevator,
Atlas behind the wheel.

Helmut closes the gate, gun in hand.
Doc RACES over.

DOC
What the fuck do you think you’re DOING?

HELMUT
Getting too hot in here, pops.
And besides, why do the job
when we can take your stash?
(waves the gun)
Take one more step and it’s
boom, boom, boom, out go the lights.

Kelsey and Jo appear behind Doc.

KELSEY
You fucking ASSHOLE.

JO
You’ll never get away with this.

DOC
You just signed your death warrant.

Atlas reaches over, FLIPS the switch.
The gears start GRINDING as the
elevator starts going down.

ATLAS
See ya in the funny papers, old man.

As soon as he’s out of sight.
Doc RACES over to the electrical panel.
Starts FLIPPING switches.

THE METAL SHUTTERS
Start coming down over the windows.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

DOC
Looks at Kelsey and Jo.

DOC
Don’t worry.
I’ve got ‘em trapped.

Doc grabs the master power lever,
THROWS it down.

The lights go OFF.
And, down below --
the elevator stops GRINDING.

HELMUT (O.C.)
HEY.

KELSEY
GOT ‘em.

Simon comes out of the bathroom.
Puzzled.

SIMON
The power went off.

JO
Zorba the Greek and Hitler
tried to take off with the stash.

KELSEY
But Doc cut the power,
and now they’re stuck half-way
down the elevator shaft.

DOC
It’s as good as gone.

KELSEY
What do you mean?

DOC
There’s no way to get it back.

JO
What are we gonna DO?
That was our life SAVINGS.

DOC
We cut the cable and
serve ‘em up to the cops.
The noise will bring ‘em in.

JO
THEN what?

DOC
We do the bank job,
then get the fuck out of Dodge.

INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT - DAY
The platform sits immobile in the darkness.
Atlas and Helmut look over
the railing down below.

ATLAS
What the fuck are we gonna DO?

HELMUT
We could climb down the cables --

ATLAS
But what about the money?
We can’t carry it,
the fucking bags are too big.

HELMUT
We throw ‘em down.

ATLAS
No, I mean outta here.
It’s too much for us to CARRY.

DOC (O.C.)
Hey, TRAITORS.
How you doin’ down there?

ATLAS
(to Helmut)
What does HE want?

DOC (O.C.)
I’d like to say it’s
been nice knowing you,
but I’m a TERRIBLE liar.
(beat)
Time to CUT THE UMBILICAL CORD.

A cable SNAPS.
One of the four corners LURCHES down.

Atlas and Helmet start to
slide toward it. GRAB onto the car.

ATLAS
What the fuck are you DOING?

DOC (O.C.)
It’s your golden parachute.

Another cable SNAPS.
The car starts PLUMMETING DOWN.

AERIAL POV

The car PLUNGES down like a rock.
HITS the bottom. BANG.

INT. DOC’S LOFT - ELEVATOR LANDING - CONTINUOUS
Doc holds a giant pair of bolt-cutters.

DOC
Except you just got the SHAFT --

We'll Leave The Lights On

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 40 of BABY HEISTER, Doc, Kelsey and Jo discover that the cops are outside going from building to building looking for their safe house, so they start packing up their stuff to move into the hotel next door that Doc also set up as a 'Plan B.' Meanwhile, robbery/homicide detective Darryl Rooker track down the owners of the neighborhood buildings ...


INT. DOC’S LOFT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
The planning session has broken up.
Jo is serving coffee.

Kelsey stands at the window.
Sees something.

KELSEY
Oh, shit.

DOC
What’s wrong?

KELSEY
There’s cops out there
going building to building.

Everyone rushes to the windows.
Looks out.

DOC
Unmarked Crown Vic. Fuck.

ATLAS
So whadda we do?

HELMUT
We gotta get the fuck outta here.

DOC
Relax.
I can shut off the power
so the elevator won’t work.

KELSEY
What about the stairs?

DOC
I had the door on each floor
welded shut.

SIMON
So they can’t come up.

DOC
Exactly.
People do that all the time.
Keeps out vagrants.

HELMUT
So we’re trapped in here?

DOC
Relax.
I also own the building next door.

KELSEY
That fleabag hotel?

DOC
Yeah.
Pays the utilities.
And the top floor is
closed for repairs.
A back-up safe house,
so to speak.
(beat)
We don’t have much time.
Jo, Kelsey.
Start covering the furniture.
(to the guys)
You three help me start
moving shit next door.

Doc walks over to a cement wall
demarcated in six-foot-wide sections.

He presses one of the joints,
and a section SLIDES OPEN,
revealing a hotel room on the other side.

DOC
Don’t worry.
We’ll leave the light on.

INT. ABANDONED GROCERY STORE - DAY
A beehive of activity.
Cops sit at desks, work the phones.

A red-faced IRISH COP (50’s)
marks addresses on the big map.

Flint stands with Darryl Rooker
in a corner by the coffee machine.

He takes a sip from his cup.
Makes a face.

FLINT
Tastes like liquid ass.

DARRYL
No luck yet, huh?

FLINT
It’s a real bitch.
Going door to door.
Big fucking area, you know?
We get anything else from
Frick and Fuck?

DARRYL
Nah. They’re all lawyered up.

A SHORT, ROUND OFFICER (20’s)
walks up to them. Excited.

Holding a piece of paper.
Waves it in the air.

SHORT, ROUND OFFICER
Hey, Cole.
I think I’ve got something.

FLINT
Costello.
Still trying to make detective?

COSTELLO
Listen to this.
I found a building that’s owned by
what looks like a shell company
in the Cayman Islands.

FLINT
What makes you think
it’s a shell company?

COSTELLO
Most of the other buildings
are owned by local businesses,
a few from out of state,
but The Cayman Islands?
I mean, what the fuck?

DARRYL
Makes sense.
A lot shady businesses have
off-shore accounts there.
Away from the prying eyes
of Uncle Sam.

COSTELLO
Exactly.
And if you wanted to maintain
some kind of hideout, you know --
almost untraceable.

FLINT
Good job, Costello.
(takes the piece of paper, to Darryl)
C’mon.
Let’s go check it out.
(to Costello)
This pans out, looks like someone’s
gonna get their gold shield.

No Muss, No Fuss

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 39 of BABY HEISTER, Kelsey and the gang plan their next bank job -- at the joint where her parents were killed trying to rob it. Meanwhile, LAPD starts going door to door in downtown Los Angeles, looking for their safe house ...


INT. DOC’S LOFT - DINING AREA - DAY
Everyone sits around the giant table.

Atlas stands, points at a map s
pread out in the middle.

ATLAS
This here’s the store next to the bank.
We got the windows blacked out,
and scaffolding in front of it
with one of those construction
walls in front of that.
(points)
We wheel the Dumpster out the front door,
then into the bank --

KELSEY
Excuse me.
Can ask you something?

ATLAS
Yeah, sure.

KELSEY
Your plan is to take the money
after it’s been delivered?

HELMUT
Yeah.
What’s your point?

KELSEY
Well, the money’s being delivered
by armored car, right?

ATLAS
Yeah --

KELSEY
Then why not grab the dough
before it goes in the bank?
The can arrives in the back alley, right?

ATLAS
Yeah --

KELSEY
Wouldn’t that simpler?

HELMUT
I guess --

KELSEY
(stands, points on the map)
We have the Dumpster already
waiting in the alley here,
which saves time.
All we gotta do is
scramble their radio signal,
smoke ‘em out and
fill it with cash.

SIMON
Fuckin’ brilliant.

JO
That’s our Kelsey.

DOC
Escape or hole up?

KELSEY
Escape.
We jack the truck that delivers
the Dumpster when it gets delivered.
Then after we load it up,
we drive it to a semi we’ve
got stashed nearby.
No muss, no fuss.
(off their looks)
Holing up next door would be stupid.
Cops are gonna comb EVERY
inch of the area.
(beat)
Any questions?

EXT. WAREHOUSE - DAY
Down the street a few doors down,
an unmarked police sedan
parks at the curb.

We see a pair of
DETECTIVES in the car.

INT. UNMARKED POLICE SEDAN - DAY
The detective on the passenger side,
big and bulky in a shitty suit(40’s)
lights a smoke.

The other, tall and thin (30’s),
sits behind the wheel.
They look at each other. Nod.

EXT. DOWNTOWN CITY STREET - DAY
Bulky and Tall get out of the car.
Walk to the door.

EXT. RUNDOWN WAREHOUSE - DAY
A few blocks away sits a
rundown, crumbling warehouse.

Another pair of DETECTIVES
stand at the entrance.

One wields a crowbar.
CRACKS OPEN the door.
They go in.

ON A WAREHOUSE ROOFTOP
Sits another DETECTIVE
with binoculars.

He looks across the way
into the windows of the
buildings across the street.

AT THE COMMAND CENTER
A TIRED, UNIFORMED COP (30’s)
sits at his desk on the phone.

UNIFORMED COP
I know the building’s
not being used, Mr. Magid.
But we still need to search it --

The Big Sleazy

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 38 of BABY HEISTER, Kelsey and Simon pay a little visit to the Yakuza gang leader that killed her parents with a view to getting revenge. Meanwhile, robbery/homicide chief Darryl Rooker organizes his task force to start searching for Doc's safe house ...


EXT. LITTLE TOKYO - CITY STREET - DAY
A block filled with shops and restaurants.
Signs all in Japanese.

As are most of the pedestrians.
Simon and Kelsey walk down the sidewalk
looking at everything in wonder.

KELSEY
I’ve never been here.
It’s so cool.

SIMON
We don’t have this in London.

KELSEY
I can’t believe it was so easy
to find his address.

SIMON
The Internet is your friend.

KELSEY
Don’t have a computer.

SIMON
(pulls out his smart phone)
Reach out and GPS someone.

Simon reads the numbers on the doors.
Stops in front of a doorway between
a fruit stand and an electronic store.

SIMON
This is it.

KELSEY
So what do we do now?

SIMON
Let’s go round back.
Check out the alley.

EXT. LITTLE TOKYO - BACK ALLEY - DAY
Surprisingly neat. No garbage.
Kelsey and Simon look at a fire escape
on the back of the building.

SIMON
That’ll work.

Kelsey pulls out her gun.
Heads over to the ladder.

KELSEY
C’mon. Let’s do it.

SIMON
Put that away. Too risky.
We’ll come back later tonight
when it’s dark.
(off her look)
Patience, my love.

KELSEY
You said ‘my love.’

SIMON
Sorry about that.

INT. ABANDONED GROCERY STORE - DAY
The task force headquarters.
A big, wide open space now filled
with a couple dozen COPS
sitting at makeshift desks.

Darryl Rooker stands in front of
a giant map of Los Angeles.

Flint Cole is next to him,
sipping coffee.

DARRYL
I’m sure you all know detective Flint Cole --
who just brought in two of Doc Hazard’s gang
from the armored car job in Palm Springs.

Flint smirks. Nods.
A smattering of applause.

DARRYL
As you all know, the rest of the gang
are holed up somewhere around here
in an abandoned warehouse.
Detective Luna is working on
identifying the owners of each building --

A burly HISPANIC COP raises his hand.

DARRYL
And then his team is going
to go building to building.
The rest of you are going to split
up into pairs and patrol the area
in twelve-hour shifts around the clock.

A smattering of murmuring
and groans all around.

DARRYL
Let me remind you that THIS GANG
was responsible for the recent riots
which cost the city MILLIONS
of dollars in damages.
(looks at Flint)
Do you have anything to add, Cole?

FLINT
(raises his cup)
Let’s be careful out there --

Face Time

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 37 of BABY HEISTER, robbery/homicide detective Flint Cole grills Doc's heister gang members Dusty and Reno about the location of Doc's safe house, to no avail. Meanwhile, Kelsey and Simon leave the safe house in downtown LA to get provisions ...


INT. POLICE VAN - NIGHT
Reno leans back against the wall.
Passed out.

Dusty looks like he’s
on his last legs.

The back door suddenly OPENS.
It’s Flint, holding a bottle of water.

FLINT
Just thought I’d check
on the Glimmer Twins.
See how you’re holding up.
(looks at Reno)
Whoah. Looks like the
big guy’s down for the count.

DUSTY
Water.

FLINT
Ten points. Yes. It’s water --

He climbs in. Gets real close.
Holds the bottle up.

Twists off the cap.
Takes a sip. Sighs.

FLINT
Crisp and refreshing.

DUSTY
What do you want?

FLINT
You know what I fucking WANT.
SPILL IT. Where’s DOC?
Where’s the fucking MONEY?

DUSTY
You’ll -- give me immunity?

FLINT
Maybe.
(waves the bottle)
Depends on what you give me.

DUSTY
He’s got a safe house.
Some warehouse loft.
Downtown LA.

FLINT
WHERE?

DUSTY
I told you. Downtown.
Don’t know where.

FLINT
We already KNOW that.
I need to know the LOCATION.

DUSTY
I don’t KNOW.
Please. Need -- water.

Flint shakes his head with disgust.
Opens the bottle.
Starts pouring it on the floor.

FLINT
Whoops.

INT. DOC’S LOFT - DAY
Kelsey and Simon
stand near the elevator,
both incognito in
baseball caps and shades.
Jo hands her a piece of paper.

KELSEY
(reads it)
That’s a lot of stuff.

JO
Well, now we’ve got
six mouths to feed.

DOC
(hands her a roll of bills)
This should take care of it.

KELSEY
I’ve got a craving for sushi.
You mind if we stop
in Little Tokyo first?

JO
That’s a great idea.
Bring some for me?

KELSEY
Okay.
Be back soon.

Kelsey and Simon
get on the elevator.

Close the gate.
Simon hits the switch.

They start going down.
Doc looks at Jo.

DOC
I just hope they
can keep it in their pants
until after the job.

Bullet Time

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 36 of BABY HEISTER, Kelsey and Simon get up close and personal on the roof of the warehouse, then get the news that the heisters that worked with Kelsey's parents on the bank job that got them killed now want to try robbing it a second time ...


EXT. WAREHOUSE - ROOF - NIGHT
Kelsey sits on the ledge.
Looking out over the city.

Sipping a bottle of beer.
Smoking. Deep in thought.

CAMERA finds Simon.
Sitting a few feet away.

Takes a chug from a bottle of vodka.
Watching her.

KELSEY
Doc says it’s too dangerous.

SIMON
I could help you.

KELSEY
Really?

SIMON
Yeah. Bastard deserves to die.

Kelsey smiles.
moves a bit closer.

SIMON
You should do that more often.

KELSEY
What.

SIMON
Smile. You always look so -- serious.

KELSEY
Haven’t had a reason.
(whispers)
Until now.

They stare at each other.
Lean in. Softly kiss.

SIMON
I’ve thought about that
for a long time.

DOC (O.C.)
There you are.

REVEAL Doc. Standing near
the entrance to the stairs.

Kelsey and Simon pull apart,
the spell broken.

KELSEY
Hey. What’s up?

DOC
Just got a page from Atlas.

KELSEY
Atlas?

DOC
From Griff and Chelle’s crew.

KELSEY
Oh -- wow.

DOC
C’mon downstairs.
He’s on his way over.

KELSEY
What does he want?

DOC
Remember that idea you had
about knocking off that bank again?

INT. POLICE VAN - REAR COMPARTMENT - MOVING - NIGHT
Reno and Dusty sit facing each other.
Sweating bullets.

RENO
I’m fucking dying. Need -- water.

DUSTY
He’s doing it on purpose.
You notice how slow we been goin’?

THE VAN
Pulls over to the side of the road
into the shoulder. Stops.

IN THE BACK
Dusty and Reno look at each other.

RENO
What the fuck’s he doing now?

INT. DOC’S LOFT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Doc, Jo, Kelsey and Simon
sit on couches and chair.

Atlas Demo and Helmut Wolf
stand in the middle of the room.

DOC
What about Gino and Zvi?
Can’t they do it with you?

ATLAS
Zvi retired. Got a gig at Apple.

HELMUT
Gino’s doing a race in Italy.
Can’t reach him.
And we need three people.
A driver, and two more to
handle the front and back doors.

ATLAS
We rented the joint next
door for three months,
so it’s still there
for us to hide out in.
Scaffolding is still up.
Why let it go to waste?

KELSEY
Sounds good.

SIMON
Yeah. Count me in.

ATLAS
And here’s the best part.
The bank is almost done being rebuilt.
In a couple days ALL the money
is being transferred back.
Gotta be several million.

DOC
How are the two of you
gonna carry that much cash?

HELMUT
We dress as construction workers.
Wheel in a Dumpster.
Then wheel it next door.

Doc narrows his eyes.
Exhales slowly. Thinking.

DOC
Okay --
(beat)
But only if Kelsey’s in charge.

KELSEY
Doc?

HELMUT
Wait a minute.

ATLAS
Yeah. What the fuck?

DOC
I trained her myself.
She’s got what it takes.
And this job means a lot to her.

HELMUT
Well, that’s great, but what
kind of experience does she have?

DOC
We jacked a can using her plan --
and then later, when our driver
tried to hijack our limo
SHE saved the day.
Shot him in the head
like swatting a fly.

DOC
You wanna use this as
a base of operations,
she’s in charge. Got it?

They look at Kelsey.
Shrug. Nod slowly.

KELSEY
Don’t worry. I’ll be gentle --

The More The Merrier

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 35 of BABY HEISTER, robbery/homicide detectives track down the hearse that Jo was driving when she shot and killed the cop that pulled her over. Meanwhile, at the safe house Simon joins Doc, Kelsey and Jo after getting busted trying to steal a car ...


INT. POLICE VAN - MOVING - DAY
Flint sits in the passenger seat
talking on his cell.

Squints at the GIANT COP
who’s driving (40’s).

FLINT
Rooker. What’s up?

INTERCUT WITH:
INT. DARRYL ROOKER’S OFFICE - DAY
Rooker sips a mug of coffee. Big smile.

DARRYL
Just got a lead. A big one.
Hitchhiker witnessed a patrolman
get shot in East LA after he
pulled over a hearse with expired tags.

FLINT
What does that have to with
the price of gash in Chinatown?

DARRYL
Sheriff’s office found it
abandoned at a gas station,
dusted it for prints --
and guess who was driving?

FLINT
I dunno. Vincent Price?

DARRYL
Jo Hazard.

FLINT
Fuck me.

DARRYL
It gets better.
She was heading toward downtown LA.

FLINT
Easy place to disappear.
All those old warehouses --

DARRYL
No shit.
We’re setting up a command base
at an abandoned grocery store,
corner of Hill and Third.

FLINT
I’ll head over there after I
finish interrogating Paulie Walnuts
and The Sundance Shit.

DARRYL
Any luck yet?

FLINT
Still waiting.

DARRYL
For what?

FLINT
Them to be well-done.

INT. POLICE VAN - REAR COMPARTMENT - DAY
Reno and Dusty sit on the bench.
Red-faced. Sweating. In agony.

Flint’s smiling face appears
in the window. They look.

See him holding a bottle of water.
Take a long chug. Laugh.

INT. DOC’S LOFT - DAY
Doc, Jo and Kelsey sit on couches
and chairs in the living room area.
Simon stands in front of them.
Looks a bit dishevelled.
But still bright and cheerful.

SIMON
It was bad luck.
Pure and simple.

DOC
A cop’s daughter.

SIMON
Yeah. I mean, how was I to know?
Bloody Nissan Sentra piece of shit.
THAT kinda car NEVER has LoJack.

KELSEY
How soon they pick you up?

SIMON
Ten fucking minutes.

DOC
When’s your court date?

SIMON
Next month.

DOC
So why did you want to see me?

SIMON
Well, I know I didn’t earn my share,
but when I heard Reno
and Dusty got busted,
I didn’t dare go back to
the motel to get my stuff.
I just need a place to crash
until I figure out my next move.

DOC
You can stay here for awhile.
(looks at Kelsey)
I’m sure Kelsey won’t mind.

PUSH IN ON Kelsey’s face.
Her secret smile.

KELSEY
Hey. The more the merrier --

The Art Of The Steal

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 34 of BABY HEISTER, Jo joins Doc and Kelsey at the downtown LA safe house where they're holed up, where they hear on the news that the Yakuza gang leader that killed Kelsey's parents during their bank robbery has now been arrested ... and now Kelsey wants to get revenge.


INT. DOC’S LOFT - NIGHT
Classic jazz plays on an
old-school boombox. Maybe Coltrane.

Kelsey and Doc sit at a long table
near the kitchen area eating dinner.

Candles have been lit.
If you squint your eyes,
it almost looks homey.
Doc spoons a forkful. Chews.

DOC
Franks and beans.
Reminds me of being in the Army.

KELSEY
I’ll go to the store tomorrow
and get some real food.

The motor on the elevator
starts GRINDING.

KELSEY
Who’s that?

Doc gets up.
Goes to the kitchen counter.
Grabs his gun.

DOC
Should be Jo.
She and I are the only ones
know about this joint.
If it’s not, we’re fucked.

He walks over to the big
wooden gate across the elevator shaft.
Peers through the slats. Gun ready.

Kelsey gets up.
Goes to the counter.
Gets HER gun. Joins him.

They listen as the elevator motor
SCREECHES and CLANKS.

DOC
Let’s each take a side.
Just in case.

She nods. Moves to the right.
Doc to the left.

The platform reaches the top. Stops.
The gate slowly rises -- revealing Jo.

Sitting in Jack’s truck.
She looks at them.

JO
Honey, I’m home --

INT. DOC’S LOFT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
More jazz on the radio.
Jo sits at the table
picking at her food. Exhausted.
Doc and Kelsey watch her, concerned.

DOC
How do you feel?

JO
That’s what scares me.
I don’t feel anything.

DOC
That’s because you’re still
hopped up on adrenaline.
It’ll hit you later.
(takes her hand)
You know I’m here for you.

Doc’s pager BUZZES.
He fishes it out.
Looks at it.

Grabs his cell.
Punches a number. Listens.

DOC
Crutch.
(listens)
We killed him.
Said you owed money to some shark,
was there to collect.
(listens)
I thought your fee was a bit high --
(listens)
Simon’s out on bail?
(listens)
Sure. Have him page me.
(listens)
Expect a courier to deliver
your package in a few days.
(listens)
You, too. Bye.

He hangs up. Looks at Jo.
And Kelsey, trying not to smile.

DOC
I gather you all got that.

The music stops.
An ANNOUNCER’S VOICE
comes on the radio.

NEWS ANNOUNCER (O.C.)
Good evening, Los Angeles.
This is Shelly Liebowitz with the news.
(beat)
In our top story tonight,
the LAPD has arrested Yung Park Soh,
leader of Yakuza gang The Blood Tigers
in connection with the First National
Bank of California robbery
earlier this year.

Everyone WHIPS their head
in the direction of the radio.

KELSEY
Holy SHIT.

NEWS ANNOUNCER (O.C.)
As you may remember, the Blood Tigers
interrupted a bank robbery in progress
during a riot that started due
to a series of explosions set off
by the bank robbers as a diversion.
In a strange twist, the Tigers killed
two of the robbers and made off
with over a million dollars.
The rest of the gang escaped
and are still at large.

Doc gets up. Turns it off.
Kelsey’s eyes BLAZE with anger.

KELSEY
You realize what this means.

DOC
It’s too dangerous.

KELSEY
But I want REVENGE.

DOC
That’s not a good idea, Kelsey.
(beat)
Revenge is a dish best not served --

There's No Place Like Safe House

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 33 of BABY HEISTER, Doc and Kelsey arrive at Doc's secret 'abandoned warehouse' in downtown LA, where they're gonna hole up until the heat is off. Meanwhile, robbery/homicide chief Darryl Rooker talks on the phone with detective Flint Cole, who reveals the 'unusual interrogation' technique he's gonna use on Doc's heisters Reno and Dusty, now in captivity ...


EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES - WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - DUSK
An abandoned three-story warehouse
surrounded by other old buildings
on a deserted block in the
middle of no-man’s land.

INT. LOFT BUILDING - DUSK
Dark. Quiet. Partitions divide
the giant space into different areas.

Living room. Bedroom. Kitchen.
Dining room. Bathroom.
Furniture covered with tarps.

A large, old SERVICE ELEVATOR
rises to the top.

A WOODEN GATE slides back,
and a late-model TOYOTA SEDAN
drives into the room.

Pulls up against the wall.
Kelsey and Doc get out.

KELSEY
This place is fucking COOL.

DOC
Bought the building twenty
years ago, dirt cheap.

Figured someday the shit
would hit the fan and I’d need
someplace safe to hole up.

I set up a shell corporation
in the Cayman Islands
as the official owner.

KELSEY
What’s on the floors below us?

DOC
Nothing. Completely empty.

KELSEY
What about the windows?
Won’t people be able to look in
and see us?

DOC
Watch this.

He walks over to an electrical panel.
Starts flipping switches.

METAL SHUTTERS start coming down
over the windows.

Then starts flipping
another set of switches,
and lights start coming on --
CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK.

KELSEY
Nice. Is there hot water?

DOC
Yep. Utilities are paid by
the corporation in the Caymans.
Any more questions?

KELSEY
Got anything to eat?
I’m fucking starving.

EXT. PALM SPRINGS POLICE HEADQUARTERS - DUSK
A small white building
in a sea of palm trees.

Flint Cole walks outside.
Pulls out his cell phone.
Punches a number.

FLINT
Rooker, it’s me.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. DARRYL ROOKER’S OFFICE - DUSK
Darryl sits behind his desk
looking at a file folder. Sipping coffee.
Holds the receiver against his ear.

DARRYL
Please tell me you’ve got good news.

FLINT
How about two heisters on the half-shell
served on a silver platter?

DARRYL
What the fuck? Where?

FLINT
At the airport.
Dumbshits were having burgers
in the restaurant.
Hasd half a mil in a duffle bag.

DARRYL
Good job. Where are they now?

FLINT
We’re at the Palm Springs lockup.

DARRYL
Did they talk?

FLINT
Of course not.
But don’t worry.
I have my ways.

DARRYL
But Palm Springs won’t
let you get away with --

FLINT
These desert pansy-asses? Course not.
That’s why I’m gonna take ‘em
to LA for questioning.

DARRYL
But you don’t have jurisdiction --

FLINT
I do if I’m questioning them
about Doc’s kids’ bank job.
They caused a fucking riot.
I’ve already called the DA.
We get first crack at them.
THEN Palm Springs gets ‘em.

DARRYL
And you can hold ‘em twelve hours.

FLINT
Yeah, but that doesn’t start
until AFTER I transport them.

DARRYL
Fucking genius.
You'll interrogate them in transit.

FLINT
Yeah. And, hey -- it’s not my fault
if we get stuck in traffic.
Who knows, we might even get a flat tire.
(evil smile)
Gets awfully hot in the back
of that tin can --

Instant Karma

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Get Outta Dodge

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 31 of BABY HEISTER, Jo gets accosted by a trio of vicious gang-bangers, but gets saved when her old flame Jack Cotton shows up and scares them off. Meanwhile, Kelsey and Doc wait in the limo for Dusty and Reno, but then hear on the radio that they got busted at the airport ...


INT. HEARSE - DAY
Jo sits behind the wheel,
waiting for Jack.

INT. BACK ALLEY - DAY
A trio of VICIOUS-LOOKING GANG-BANGERS
come around the corner.

See the hearse.
Start walking toward it.

Jo rolls her window up.
Locks the door.

The bangers appear in the window. Grinning.
She pulls out her gun. Waves it.

JO
Get the fuck OUT OF HERE
or I’ll blow your HEADS OFF.

The LEADER (20’s), Snoop Dogg Lite,
looks at his friends. Chuckles.

Pull out a chrome handgun.
Aims it at her.

SNOOP DOGG LITE
Now is that any way to greet
the welcoming committee, homes?

A GIANT PICKUP TRUCK
appears behind the hearse,
SCREECHES to a halt.

The door FLIES OPEN.
Out pops Jack Cotton,
holding a shotgun.

He KA-CHINKS a shell
in the chamber.

JACK
Party’s over, slimeballs.
Get your ghetto asses OUTTA HERE,
or I’ll blast you
all the way to COMPTON.

Snoop Dogg Lite raises an eyebrow.
Looks at his friends.

They shrug.
He puts his piece in his waistband.

SNOOP DOGG LITE
You want that old pussy?
You can have her, yo.

They shuffle away.
Jack comes over.
Jo rolls down the window.

JO
Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.

JACK
Baby-doll -- at my age,
everything is sore.

INT. LIMOUSINE - DAY
Kelsey and Doc sit in the back,
sipping cocktails.

KELSEY
I wish we didn’t have
to wait for them.

DOC
Heister’s code.
Gotta stick together.
Watch each other’s back.

KELSEY
How about some music.
Kill some time.

Doc nods. She reaches over.
Switches it on the radio.

Some shitty auto-tuned
top-forty song plays.

KELSEY
Yuck.

She starts pushing buttons.
We hear snippets of country,
classical, rap -- then a news report.

NEWS ANNOUNCER (O.C.)
-- late breaking bulletin.
men were just arrested at
Palm Springs International Airport
in connection with an
armored car robbery at a diner
just outside the city limits --


NEWS ANNOUNCER (O.C.) (CONT'D)
Both suspects are now
being held for questioning.
The authorities have not
released their names --

Kelsey SHUTS it off.

KELSEY
What do we do now?

DOC
Get the fuck outta Dodge --

Cash And Carry

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 30 of BABY HEISTER, Dusty and Reno hang out at the airport cafe waiting for their flight to join the other heisters, but the shit hits the fan when robbery/homicide detective Flint Cole spots them and gives chase ...


INT. AIRPORT RESTAURANT - DAY
One of those bland joints for travelers
that don’t care about ambiance.

Reno and Dusty sit at
a table with burgers,
fries and bottles of beer
watching the planes take off.

DUSTY
What are you gonna do with your share?

RENO
Miami, baby. Surf, sun and pussy.
(eats some fries)
Whattaya gonna do with yours?

DUSTY
Think I’ll hit Vegas.

RENO
You fucking kidding me?
That’s just throwing it away --

The door opens.
In walks Flint.
He takes a stool.

The HICK BARTENDER (40’s) comes over.
Nods. Real friendly-like.

HICK BARTENDER
What can I get ya?

FLINT
Coffee, to go. Black.

Hick nods. Turns around.
Goes to fix it.

Flint’s phone RINGS.
He pulls his cell out.

FLINT
Tell me something good.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. DARRYL ROOKER’S OFFICE - DAY
Darryl sits behind his desk.
Looks at a couple of drawings.

DARRYL
Just got a lead.
Sketch of one of the perps.

FLINT
A sketch?
How’s a fucking ghost gonna help me?

DARRYL
It’s not a ghost.
One of the guards
is an amateur artist.
Drew it himself.
He’s pretty good.
Amazing detail.

FLINT
And --

DARRYL
We ran it against the database,
and guess who’s name came up?

Hick Bartender comes over.
Hands Flint his coffee.

FLINT
Thanks.

DARRYL
You still there?

FLINT
Yeah. I’m waiting --

DARRYL
Reno Black.
Known associate of
Griff and Chelle Hazard.
Remember him?

FLINT
Reno Black? Hell, yeah.
I put him away a couple years ago.
Bank job in Tucson.

RENO AND DUSTY
Hear him. Turn their heads. Look at Flint.

RENO
(whispers)
Oh, shit. It’s that fucking cop.

FLINT
Sips his coffee. Listens.

FLINT
Well, you know what they say.
Love is better the second time around --

RENO AND DUSTY
Look at each other. Nod.
Slowly get up. Reno grabs the bag.

FLINT
Gets up from his stool.
Grabs his coffee.
Looks out the window at the
waves of heat on the asphalt.

FLINT
Why did it have to be Palm Springs?
It’s a fucking OVEN out there.
(listens)
I’m still in the airport.
Getting some coffee.

Reno and Dusty walk by
feigning nonchalance, heads down.

Flint looks at them out of
the corner of his eye.

FLINT
I’ll be there right away.
And tell the local fuzz
not to touch ANYTHING.

Flint cocks his head.
Suddenly recognizes Reno.

FLINT
HEY.

Reno and Dusty look. Freak.
RUN toward the door.
SLAM it open.
FLY into the corridor.

Flint SHOVES the phone in his pocket.
YANKS his gun out its holster.
CHASES after them.

FLINT
Stop, POLICE --

INT. AIRPORT CONCOURSE - DAY
An open-air space with white fabric above
and palm trees surrounding the stairs
going down to a lower level.

Reno and Dusty come RACING down the steps,
Reno hugging the duffle for dear life.
Flint RUNS after them.

They go around a corner.
See a gift shop.

RACE into it.
Flint follows them in hot pursuit.

RENO AND DUSTY
FLY out the back entrance.

FLINT
Runs into the store.
SMASHES into a display of books.

They go FLYING in the air.
The SALESGIRL (18) SCREAMS.

EXT. PLAY PARK - DAY
A grassy area for kids to play.
Jungle gym. Swings. You know the drill.

Reno and Dusty RUN across the grass,
huffing and puffing
in the hundred-degree heat.

FLINT
Comes out onto the grass.
Chasing after them. YELLS.

FLINT
Stop or I’ll SHOOT.

Reno and Dusty look behind them.
See Flint. Reno TRIPS on the curb
where the park ends and goes
FLYING to the ground.

The duffle RIPS OPEN.
Money goes SWIRLING into the air.

Dusty keeps running.
Flint takes aim. Shoots. BANG.

CLIPS him in the leg.
He goes down.

FLINT
Don’t fucking MOVE.

Flint walks over to Reno.
Covered in cash.

Holding his hands up.
Aims his gun at his head.

RENO
Don’t shoot, don’t shoot.

FLINT
Ask yourself, punk.
Do you feel STUPID?

Sore Thumb City

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 29 of BABY HEISTER, trapped in East LA, Jo calls her old flame Jack Cotton to rescue her. Meanwhile, Kelsey and Doc arrive at LAX and get into their limo and wait for the rest of the gang to arrive ...


EXT. SHITTY APARTMENT COMPLEX - DAY
A piece-of-shit grey cement slab
of suburban hell on a cul-de-sac
with the freeway right behind it.

The ROAR of traffic going by
is deafening.

Ah, beautiful West Covina.

INT. SHITTY APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Threadbare, old furniture. Threadbare decor.
But spic and span clean.

An OLD GUY (70’s) sits in a big wing chair
watching CNN on an old console TV.
Sipping a can of beer.

OLDER GUY
Fucking liberal panty-waists.

The phone RINGS.
He reaches over. Answers it.

OLDER GUY
Jack Cotton --

Meet JACK COTTON. Former Marine.
Still fit, in shape.

A little soft around the edges.
White hair in a buzz cut.

Blue eyes clear and sharp,
if a little red.

JACK
Jo Hazard?
How the hell ARE ya --

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. EAST LA STREET - DAY
Jo stands at another pay phone
across the street.

JO
Well, normally, just great --

JACK
What’s wrong?
Are you in trouble?

JO
You could say that.

JACK
Out with it, woman.
What’s going on?

JO
Doc did a job where the
inside man tried a cross.
A cop got killed,
our cover was blown,
and we had to blow the ranch.
He’s traveling to our
safe house with the crew,
and I’m transporting the stash.

JACK
Holy SHIT.
Don’t tell me --
and something fucked you up?

JO
Yeah, got pulled over by a cop --

JACK
And you popped him.

JO
You always were a mind-reader.

JACK
Had to be in Nam.
So I assume you need me
to run a little recon?
Sky you out?

JO
If you could, yeah.
I’m in a bit of a jam.

JACK
Semper Fi, little lady.
Give me your coordinates.

JO
I’m at an abandoned gas station
East LA on the corner of
Whittier and Soto.

JACK
Nice neighborhood.
What are you driving?

JO
A black, eighty-five Cadillac hearse.
The stash is in the casket.

JACK
No wonder you had to
pull off the freeway.
Sore-thumb city.
(looks at his watch)
I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.

JO
Thanks, Jack.
I owe ya one.

JACK
Hey. Didn’t I always tell ya
I’d always be there for ya?

JO
Why do you think I called?

JACK
Move the car behind the building.
Don’t want to tempt the locals
with your splendor.

JO
Don’t worry about me.
I’m a big girl.
Just need a little
'roadside assistance' --

EXT. LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY
The Piper Cub taxis over to
a charter flight hanger.

A black limousine sits nearby.
The cub’s door opens.

Kelsey comes out.
Then Doc, with the bag.
They hustle over to the limo.

IN THE LIMO
The driver’s partition slides down.
A BIG BEEFY BLACK GUY (30’s)
sits behind the wheel.
Turns. Looks at Doc. Smiles.

BIG, BEEFY BLACK GUY
Where do I have the pleasure
of taking you and the young lady today?

DOC
Downtown. But we have to wait
for two more people to get here.

BIG, BEEFY BLACK GUY
No problem.
Please allow me to introduce myself.
The name’s Douglas.
But my friends call me Def-Con.

KELSEY
I’m Kelsey.
This is Doc.

DEF-CON
Pleased to meet you.
Feel free to avail yourself
of the array of spirits at the bar.

Doc sees the bottles and glasses.
His eyes light up.

DOC
Not a bad idea.
Take the edge off.

KELSEY
Make mine a double --

Shit Outta Luck

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 28 of BABY HEISTER, Kelsey, Doc, Dusty and Reno meet their charter plane at LAX, only to discover there's only room for two people. Meanwhile, robbery/homicide detective Flint Cole arrives at the airport, hot on their tail ...


EXT. PALM SPRINGS INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY
Gorgeous, beautiful mountains in the distance.
A small, white circular building
with passenger ramps
around it like an octopus.

Planes taxi on the runways.

EXT. CHARTER FLIGHT HANGER - DAY
A smallish building for private jets.
Parked in front is a PIPER CUB.

One of those tiny planes used for
crop dusting and pulling banners
across the sky.

Standing next to it is BRUB (50’s),
a grizzled pilot.

He looks at Doc, Kelsey, Reno and Dusty.
Then the duffle bags.

BRUB
Plane’s too small.
Jo said it would only be two people.

DOC
We had a change of plan.

DUSTY
(points at Reno)
What if I sit on his lap?

RENO
Yeah. We could squeeze in real tight.

BRUB
Too much weight.
I can take two of you,
plus the bags.
That’s it.

KELSEY
(to Doc)
Shit. What are we gonna do?

BRUB
Tell ya what.
It only takes fifteen
minutes to get to LAX.
Why don’t I take
two of you first,
then come back?

DOC
That means we’d have to
wait half an hour --

BRUB
Seeing as how we
go way back and all --
I’ll only charge half-price
for the second trip.

DOC
It’s a deal.
Kelsey and me will go first,
with the bags.

RENO
Wait a minute.
I thought we were splitting up
the take on the plane.

DUSTY
That’s right.
If something happens,
we’re shit outta luck.

DOC
Tell ya what.
We’ll take one bag,
leave one with you.

RENO
But who says each bag has
the same amount of dough in it?

KELSEY
Each bag has about
a half-million in it.
What’s the fucking problem?
Doc’s giving you a lift,
AND letting you stay at his loft.
Chill OUT. We’ve gotta get
the fuck OUTTA here instead of
wasting our time
standing around ARGUING.

DUSTY
Broad’s right.

RENO
Okay, okay.

DOC
(nods)
See you at LAX.

Dusty nods.
Brub opens the door.

Doc picks up a bag.
Stuffs it in.
He and Kelsey get in.
Then Brub.

The plane’s propellers start WHIRRING.
Starts taxiing down the runway.

RENO
C’mon.
et’s go see what kinda grub they got.

DUSTY
Fuck that.
I could use a drink.

EXT. LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY
A Yellow Cab pulls up to the curb.
Cole pops out the back door.

SLAMS it.
Heads into the building, on a mission.

AT THE SECURITY CHECK LINE
He flashes his badge
at a SURLY TSA OFFICER.

Cuts ahead of the line.
Goes through the metal detector.

It starts BEEPING. He grins.
Heads down the corridor --

They Shoot Cops, Don't They?

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of BABY HEISTER, Jo drives the hearse with her and Doc's life savings hidden in the casket, but when she gets pulled over by the highway patrol, things go from bad to violent ...


EXT. FREEWAY - DAY
The hearse heads west toward
Los Angeles in sparse traffic.

INT. HEARSE - MOVING - DAY
Country music on the radio.
Jo sits behind the wheel, driving.

Now wearing a chauffeur's cap
and aviator shades.

She looks in the rear view mirror.
Sees something.

JO
Shit, shit, shit.

BEHIND HER
Is a Highway Patrol car.
Lights FLASHING.

JO
Pulls over to the side of the road.
Pulls out a HANDGUN.

THE PATROL CAR
Pulls up behind her.
An ANGRY-LOOKING STATE TROOPER gets out.

Ambles over to the driver’s-side window.
It SLIDES down.

IN THE HEARSE
Jo looks at the trooper. Smiles.

JO
Good day, officer.
Was I going too fast?

ANGRY-LOOKING STATE TROOPER
Your tag’s expired.
License, registration and
proof of insurance, please.

She pulls out a wallet.
Starts handing documents to him.

JO
I’m so sorry.
I’ll get that taken care of right away.
(points at the registration)
The car is in my husband’s name.
We own the funeral home.

ANGRY-LOOKING STATE TROOPER
Since when does the owner
of a funeral home drive
the hearse themselves?

JO
When you’re a small family business,
everybody has to pitch in.

ANGRY-LOOKING STATE TROOPER
Would you please step out of the vehicle?
I’d like to see what’s in the casket.

JO
I’m sorry, officer.
It’s sealed. I can’t open it.

ANGRY-LOOKING STATE TROOPER
Step out of the vehicle NOW.

JO
Okay, I’m sorry.

She slowly opens the door.
Grabs the gun. WHIPS IT UP.

SHOOTS him. BANG. BANG. BANG.
He CLUTCHES his chest.

Stares at her in shock.
Falls over, HITS the pavement, THWUMP.

JO
That’s what you get for
disrespecting your elders.

EXT. FREEWAY - DAY
The hearse turns off at the next exit.
Goes down the ramp.

EXT. EAST LA - INTERSECTION - DAY
A REALLY shitty part of town.
Crumbling apartment blocks.

The hearse pulls into
an abandoned gas station.

INT. HEARSE - DAY
Jo slips the gun in her pocket.
Opens the car door.

EXT. ABANDONED GAS STATION - DAY
She gets out. Looks around.
Not a soul to be seen.

Sees a pay phone. Walks over to it.
Lifts the receiver. Listens. Dead.

SNEERING GANG-BANGER (O.C.)
Hey, lady. Where’s the funeral?

She turns, sees a pair of
THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD HISPANIC KIDS
holding switchblades.

They FLIP them open menacingly.

LAUGHING GANG-BANGER
Looks like someone got lost or somethin.’

SNEERING GANG-BANGER
What you doin’ in this neighborhood?
This is OUR territory.

JO
I had a -- little problem with the police.

LAUGHING GANG-BANGER
You hear DAT?
She had a little trouble with the five-oh?

SNEERING GANG-BANGER
Well, now you have a little trouble with US.
Give us your WALLET, bitch.

JO
(WHIPS OUT her gun)
The TROUBLE involved SHOOTING A COP.
Now get the FUCK out of my face
before I BLOW A HOLE in your REFRIED BRAINS.

SNEERING GANG-BANGER
Holy SHIT.
Don’t shoot, lady.

LAUGHING GANG-BANGER
Yo, chill.
We were just fuckin’ with ya --

JO
(CLICKS the safety)
Get your CHALUPAS the FUCK
out of my FACE. NOW.

They RUN. Jo watches them go.
Thinking. A light bulb POPS.

JO
Jack Cotton --

The Great Escape

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of BABY HEISTER, Jo leaves the farm to join Doc at their safe house ... in a hearse hidden in the barn. Meanwhile, Doc, Dusty and Reno drive toward the airport to get the hell out of Dodge ...


EXT. DOC’S FARMHOUSE - FRONT PORCH - AT THAT MOMENT
Jo comes out the front door.
Looks natty in a black men’s suit.

She goes down the steps,
on a mission, walks toward --

EXT. DOC’S BARN - DAY
A massive, two-story affair.
Jo walks over to the big doors.

IN THE BARN
Jo SNAPS on the lights,
revealing a giant, two-story room.

Bales of hay sits
against the far wall.

She grabs a pitchfork. STABS it.
TOSSES IT with surprising strength.

INT. DOC’S BARN - A LITTLE LATER
The front portion of the
bales of hay is now gone,
revealing a pair of doors.

She unlocks them. Steps inside --

A HIDDEN COMPARTMENT
Where we see a big vehicle
covered with a tarp.

She grabs the front end.
YANKS it off, revealing --
a CADILLAC HEARSE.

INT. CRIME SCENE TRUCK - MOVING - DAY
Kelsey drives. Doc chats with
Reno and Dusty in the back.

DOC
We’ll do the split on the plane.
When we get to LAX,
you can do whatever you want.

DUSTY
I dunno.
Won’t they be watching the airports?
RENO
Yeah. That place ain’t gonna be safe.

DUSTY
(to Doc)
Where you gonna go?

DOC
I’ve got a limo waiting on the tarmac.
Straight shot out of the airport.

RENO
Where’s it gonna take you?

DOC
A safe house downtown.

RENO
Well, fuck. Can we come with you?
Perfect place to lie low for a bit.

Doc stares off into space. Thinking.

DUSTY
Whattaya say, Doc.
It’s only for a couple of days
till the heat dies down.

DOC
(looks at him)
Yeah, sure. Sorry.
Still upset about losing that farm.
My whole life, that’s all I ever wanted.

KELSEY
What about Jo?

DOC
She’s driving the stash
directly over to the loft.

DUSTY
If you don’t mind me askin,’
how much is it?

DOC
Forty years worth of heisting?
(pause for effect)
Little over twenty million.

Reno whistles.

KELSEY
Isn’t that kinda dangerous?
Traveling with that much scratch?

DOC
Not when it’s in a casket --

Foul Play

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 25 of BABY HEISTER, after the death of undercover cop 'Ray Stark,' his boss, chief detective Darryl Rooker enlists recently reinstated rogue cop Flint Cole to take his place and bring down Doc Hazard and his gang. Meanwhile, Doc, Kelsey and the heisters literally 'burn down the house' as they make their getaway ...


INT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS - OFFICE - DAY
Chief Detective Darryl Rooker
sits behind his desk.

Looks really pissed off.
Sips a mug of coffee.

DARRYL
Went off without a hitch.
Not a shot was fired.
Guards were tied, gagged
and stuffed in a truck.
Whole thing went down
in a couple of minutes.

Standing nearby holding a
bottle of water is another COP.

COP
Sounds like a Doc Hazard
special to me.

Meet FLINT COLE (40’s), ex Marine.
Now a bit fleshy. Crazy eyes.

Does the undercover thing
a little too well.

You can practically
smell him on the page.
But he’s still the best.

DARRYL
No shit.
I want you to get your ass
over to Palm Springs.

FLINT
I thought Willis was on that.

DARRYL
He’s disappeared.
I think he might have been
the victim of foul play.

FLINT
Got too close?

DARRYL
Either that, or he went
to the dark side and got burned.

FLINT
Which is why you called me.

DARRYL
Well, you’re off suspension.
Cleared of all charges.
And you’ve got a bit of
a reputation for --

FLINT
My unorthodox methods?

DARRYL
Yeah, well -- you get results.
(beat)
The department has
been after Doc Hazard
and his crew
for over twenty years.
They’ve cost the taxpayers
millions of dollars.
You get where I’m
going with this?

FLINT
In other words, you want me
to blow the lid off?

DARRYL
I want you to go fucking nuts.
And that’s an order.

Flint CRUSHES the bottle.
CRACK. Water EXPLODES.

FLINT
Let’s fucking rock.

EXT. TILLY’S JOINT - DAY
Doc and Kelsey sit in the truck.
See flames of fire licking
the edges of the windows
on the first floor of the house.

Reno and Dusty dash
out the front door.
Run to the truck.

Jump in the back.
Doc turns around.
Looks at them.

DOC
You got the barn, too?
(off his nod, to Kelsey)
Let’s roll.

Kelsey turns the ignition.
Starts going down the driveway.

THE HOUSE
EXPLODES IN A BALL OF FIRE -- BOOM.
Debris goes FLYING.

DOC
Turns. Looks out the window.

DOC
What the --

RENO
Little trick I learned.
Hot water heater
in the basement.
(smiles)
Put the bodies
right next to it.

A HUMAN HAND
Lands on the windshield
with a SLAP.

Kelsey SCREAMS.

The Remains Of The Robbery

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of BABY HEISTER, after shooting Tilly, who was trying to double-cross the heisters, and then Ray Stark, who was trying to steal the dough, Doc discovers that Ray was a rogue cop, which means a shit storm is about to rain down on them, so he jumps into action and starts an emergency escape ...


EXT. TILLY'S JOINT - DAY

Did holds a sawed-off shotgun.
Grimaces at Tilly's dead body.

KELSEY
Doc.

DOC
Didn’t think I’d let you do
the job without a chaperone, did ya?
(beat)
Looks like I got here just in time.

RENO
No shit.
Freddie tried a cross --
(points at Ray)
And this fella shot him.

Doc goes over to Ray’s body.
Pull out his wallet.

DOC
Bastard been sniffin’ around
since the wake.
(opens the wallet, looks)
The guy’s a fucking COP.
Detective Charles Willis,
LA Robbery Homicide.

DUSTY
Holy SHIT.
You know what that means?

DOC
Yeah. They’re onto us.

RENO
But he wasn’t arresting us.
He was gonna TAKE THE DOUGH.

DUSTY
Yeah, but the cops still know about us.
He was playing along like
he was investigating us --
then he was gonna take
the dough and disappear.

RENO
So when word gets out about the can
getting knocked over --

DOC
Dead cop?
Gonna be a shit storm.

Kelsey stares. Numb.
White a ghost.
Doc looks at her.

DOC
Don’t worry.
We’re gonna be okay.
I’ve been planning for
day a long time.
(off her nod)
Take a deep breath.

She gulps down air.
Stares at the bodies.

DOC
Be strong.
You can freak out later.
Right now we gotta focus.

RENO
So what are we gonna do
about the bodies?

DUSTY
I say we torch the joint.

DOC
Good idea.

Reno and Dusty nod.
Head toward the house.

DOC
C’mon. Let’s move the truck.
I gotta call Jo.

Kelsey nods.
They get in, Kelsey behind the wheel.
She starts backing it out of the barn.

IN THE TRUCK
Kelsey stops in the driveway.

DOC
Go change the signs.
Put the old ones in the barn, okay?

She nods. Starts to get out.
Stops. Stares at Doc. In shock.

DOC
You gotta trust me.
We’ll make it through this.
I’m not gonna let anything
happen to you. Okay?

Kelsey nods.
Eyes bright with tears.
Gets out.

Doc pulls out his cell.
Punches a number. Listens.

DOC
Hello, Jo?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. DOC’S FARMHOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
Jo stands at the wall phone,
holding the receiver to her ear.

JO
What’s wrong?

DOC
It’s D-day. No time to explain.
Call Brub at the airport.
Charter a plane for us to LAX.
Then call Crutch, have a limo
waiting for us there.
Then drive the stash
to the loft downtown.
We’ll meet you there. Okay?

JO
Got it.
Is everybody okay?

DOC
Yeah. Don’t pack anything.
You gotta leave immediately.
Okay? Love you.

JO
Okay. Love you.

She hangs up.
Goes to the stove.
Turns it off.

JO
Sorry, pot roast --

EXT. TILLY’S JOINT - DAY
Kelsey RIPS a sign off the side
of the Roto-Helper truck.

It now reads CRIME SCENE BUSTERS.

The Art Of The Steal

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of BABY HEISTER, after they successfully pull off the armored car heist, Kelsey, Doc, Reno and Dusty get a nasty surprise when Freddie Fingers tries to pull a double cross, with deadly results ...


EXT. TILLY’S JOINT - DAY
A ramshackle clapboard affair
sits at the end of a long driveway
surrounded by big, old oak trees.

The joint’s in serious disrepair.
Dead, brown lawn. Crumbling foundation.

Next to the house is a small barn
that looks like it’d fall over
if you sneezed. Doors open.

The Roto-Helper truck
comes down the driveway.
Drives into the barn. Stops.

INT. BARN - DAY
Kelsey gets out of the truck.
Goes around to the back,
opens the door.

Reno and Dusty get out.
Freddie steps out from the shadows
holding a shotgun. Aims it at them.

FREDDIE
Don’t move, or I’ll SHOOT.

DUSTY
What the FUCK?

RENO
Asshole. I KNEW it.

KELSEY
You’re not gonna get away this.

FREDDIE
Fuck you, bitch.
Now all of you take your
guns out slowly and TOSS ‘em.

Kelsey, Reno and Dusty
shake their heads.

Curse under their breath.
Slowly pull out their guns.
Toss them.

RENO
What’s it like knowing
you’re gonna die?

FREDDIE
Shut up.
Kick ‘em over here.

They kick their guns over.

DUSTY
You realize you’re a dead man, right?

FREDDIE
I said SHUT UP.
One more word and I’ll
blow your fucking HEADS off.

A GUNSHOT rings out. BANG.
A hole appears in Freddie’s forehead.

falls over, THWUMP.
They turn and look, see --

RAY
Standing in the doorway.
Holding a giant chrome handgun.
Wicked smile on his lips. Chuckling.

RAY
Sorry to crash the party.
(off Kelsey’s shocked look)
Hey there, darlin.’
Don’t suppose you’d like to
ride off into the sunset with me.

KELSEY
Fucking ASSHOLE.

RAY
So ladylike.
(waves the gun at them)
Start unloading the dough, fellas.
Then your gonna put it
in my van outside.

GUNSHOTS ring out.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

Five RED HOLES appear
in his white T-shirt.
He looks down at them --

RAY
What the --

And HITS the ground. THWUMP.

TILLY
Stands in the doorway behind him.
Holding a small handgun.

TILLY
You shot my FREDDIE.

DUSTY
Tilly. Calm down.
He’s not with us.
He wasn’t part of the plan, I swear.

RENO
Yeah. Don’t shoot, don’t shoot.

TILLY
SHUT UP. I gotta THINK.

BANG. Her head EXPLODES IN A RED MIST.
Kelsey JUMPS. SCREAMS.

DOC
Stands behind her.
Holding a sawed-off shotgun.

KELSEY
Doc.

DOC
Didn’t think I’d let you
do the job without a chaperone,
did ya?
(beat)
Looks like I got here just in time --

Gone, Baby, Gone

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of BABY HEISTER, it's a red letter day when Kelsey, Dusty and Reno blockade the armored car in the diner parking lot, subdue the guards, and make off the cash inside ...


EXT. RUBY’S DINER - DAY
Seven AM. Zero hour.

A smattering of cars and trucks
dot the parking spaces in front.
The spaces to the side are empty.

A big, tall van marked ROTO-HELPER pulls in.
Parks to the right of the armored car’s space.

Dusty gets out. Shuts the door.
Ambles into the restaurant.

An ancient Toyota pulls in.
Parks to the left of the armored car’s space,
but on an angle with it’s nose to the right
to make sure no one else parks
where the can is supposed to go.

ANGLE ON --
The Toyota.

We see Kelsey’s behind the wheel,
wearing shades and a baseball cap.
She lights a smoke. Waiting.

EXT. GAS STATION - DAY
Down the street near the exit to the gas station lot,
the big, shitty truck idles, Reno behind the wheel.

IN THE RESTAURANT
Tilly looks at her watch. Nods to herself.
Puts a sign that says AREA CLOSED FOR CLEANING
in the area near the side window.
Then wheels the bucket and mop over.

ON THE FREEWAY
The armored car turns off, drives into the lot.

AT THE GAS STATION
Big, shitty truck pulls out.

IN THE PARKING LOT
Kelsey drives her car behind the diner.

THE ARMORED CAR
Pulls into its space to the left
of the Roto-Helper truck.

DUSTY
Sits in the diner.
Having coffee at the counter. Watching.

IN THE PARKING LOT
The armored car DRIVER gets out.
Goes to the rear of the truck, raps on the door,
and a UNIFORMED GUARD gets out.

They pull out their keys.
Insert them in separate key holes.
Lock the door. Then head into the diner.

The big, shitty truck pulls in.
Parks in the space to the left
of the armored car, blocking the view.

IN THE TRUCK
We now get a closer look at Reno.

We see he’s wearing the armored car
company uniform, but not the hat.
He checks his gun. Holsters it. Slips on shades.

IN THE DINER
Dusty watches Driver and Guard leave the bathroom.
Pick up their ‘to go’ coffee order.
Sees his cue. Leaves.

FREDDIE
Gets up from his stool at the counter.
Walks into the back.

THE DRIVER AND GUARD
Come out of the diner.
Start walking toward the can.

EXT. DINER PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS
Dusty stands between the truck and the can.
Kicks the front right tire of the truck.

Walks to the back. Kicks the double
rear tires on the same side. Sighs.

DUSTY
I’ll be a sonofabitch.

Driver and Guard look at Dusty. Smile.

KELSEY
Pulls her car out from behind the diner
and slowly eases it toward the three trucks.

Just as she gets perpendicular to the can,
she kills the engine.

KELSEY
GODDAMMIT.

IN THE SHITTY TRUCK
Reno hears her. Puts on his guard cap. Gets out.

THE DRIVER AND GUARD
Stand in back of the can. Pull out their keys.
Driver sticks his in. Then Guard. They stop.
Turn. Look at Kelsey.

KELSEY
Sorry. It stalls out.
I just gotta give it a sec.

They nod. Return to their task.
Dusty suddenly appears and CLIPS Guard
on the side of the head with his gun.
He GOES DOWN, hits the pavement. THWUNK.

Before Driver can react,
Reno appears with a gun and a knife.

SHOVES the gun in his back.
PRICKS his neck with the knife.

RENO
(softly)
Hold very still.
(off his panicked look)
Go around to the front and have
the other guard open the door for you.

Reno moves the knife down to Driver’s hip.
PRICKS him again.

RENO
One false move and I castrate you.

Kelsey gets out of the car holding ropes and gags.
She and Dusty tie up Unconscious Guard.
Stuff him in the shitty truck.
Gets back in her car.

Dusty trots over to Reno, now moving
toward the passenger-side of the cab with Driver.

IN THE ARMORED CAR
The OTHER GUARD sees Driver in the window,
and part of Dusty’s uniform. He opens the door.

Dusty CLIPS Driver on the head with his gun.
He goes down. Aims his gun at Other Guard.

DUSTY
Get the fuck OUT.

Other Guard hesitates. Looks at Driver on the ground.
Swallows. Starts slowly getting out, just as Reno
SAPS him on the head from the other side, SMACK.
He goes down.

Dusty and Kelsey carry Driver and Other Guard
into the shitty truck. Start tying them up.

Reno starts transferring sacks and boxes of money
from the armored car into
the back of the Roto-Helper truck.

Kelsey gets in the Toyota
and drives it to the back of the diner.

Dusty helps Reno finish putting
the money in the roto-truck,
then gets in the back with it.

Kelsey returns on foot and gets in front.
Starts the engine, and drives away.

IN THE ROTO-HELPER TRUCK
Kelsey grips the steering wheel.
Big, shit-eating grin.

Dusty leans into the cab from the back.

DUSTY
Looks like someone just popped her cherry.
How do you feel?

KELSEY
Fucking GREAT.
(makes a face)
Think I peed my pants a little --