Hair Metal Motherfuckers

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of NOWHERE GIRL, fugitive stripper with a suitcase nuke Cherry Nation gets directions from the band Skull Bong to the address in the Hollywood Hills where the Al Qaeda sleeper cell is hiding out so she can deliver 'the package.' Meanwhile, Cherry's ex, CIA agent Shag Holliday desperately races against the clock to try and track down her location ...


INT. GARAGE - NIGHT
Lead Singer stares at Cherry’s gun.
Rapidly sobering up.

LEAD SINGER
Dude. That’s a real gun.

DRUMMER
(to Lead Singer)
Chill, Brody.
She’s not gonna hurt us.
(to Cherry)
Right?

BASS PLAYER
That’s a Sig Sauer, man.
Wicked piece.

CHERRY
Shut up, all of you.
I just need someone to help me find --
(pulls out piece of paper)
1155 Queens Road.
And we need to go, NOW.

BRODY
Wait a minute.
I recognize you --
you’re La Cienega Boulevard.

DRUMMER
SHIT, you’re right.

BASS PLAYER
Who?

BRODY
The porn star, dude --
La Cienega Boulevard.
(to Cherry)
Why’d you retire?
You were THE BEST.
So fucking HOT.

STAN
(to Peeler)
I thought she looked familiar.

CHERRY
(lowers her gun)
I got sick of it.
And I make a lot of money
feature dancing on the road.
I’ll be quitting that soon, too --
if I make it out of this alive.
(raises it)
So which one of you
hair metal motherfuckers
is gonna show us the way?

BRODY
I will. It’s my band.
(beat)
And we’re not 'hair metal,'
we’re DEATH metal.

INT. CORVETTE - MOVING - NIGHT
Shag drives into the heart of the strip,
passes Sunset Plaza.
Talks on his hands-free Bluetooth.

SHAG
She hung up on me.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - CUBICLE - CONTINUOUS
Lark turns away from her laptop.
Touches her headpiece.

LARK
Angry?

SHAG
You might say that.

LARK
You blew your cover.

SHAG
Yeah. It was stupid, I know.
I just --
(looks at the dashboard)
I’m getting close.
I’d love to get some backup.

LARK
You know I can’t do that, Shag.
The boss gave strict orders --
this one’s off-limits.
It’ll raise red flags that go
way beyond me losing my job.
(beat)
Apparently the guy that runs C-6
has A LOT of pull.

SHAG
Then connect me to C-6.

LARK
I don’t have the number.
Black ops? Hello?

SHAG
Lark, give yourself some credit.
You told me you could
gather ANY intel.

LARK
I’ll call you
when I have something.

SHAG
That’s my girl.
(looks out the window)
I’m here. Gotta go.

LARK
Good luck.

SHAG
Yeah, right.
You’ve never met Cherry -