Fast, Cheap And Out Of Control

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In Chapter 4 of LEGS, Episode Two, private eye Carrie Love gets a call from her mother telling her that her brothers are trying to cheat her out of her inheritence. Then she gets a call from a new client, wannabe starlet Marnie Hadar ...



INT. CARRIE’S MINI-OFFICE - DAY
Carrie’s phone RINGS.
She goes to the desk.
Picks up the phone.

CARRIE
Carrie Love Investigations,
this is Carrie.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. MARGO’S MANSION - BEDROOM - DAY
A luxurious spread right out of Town and Country.

Splayed out on the bed like the diva she is
is MARGO LOVE (60’s), Carrie’s mother.

Pert WASP good looks
right out of Ralph Lauren.

She grips her cell,
picking at her breakfast on a tray.

MARGO
I see somebody’s bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed this morning.
I expected to get your voice mail.

CARRIE
You know what they say
about the early bird.

MARGO
Please. I haven’t 'gotten the worm'
since your father died.

CARRIE
What’s up, Mom?

MARGO
You have a meeting this afternoon
at three with your brothers
and their attorneys.

CARRIE
I do?

MARGO
It’s about your father’s estate.

CARRIE
But we haven’t even
had the funeral yet.

MARGO
You know Todd,
the greedy little bastard.

CARRIE
But I thought they couldn’t
find a signed copy of dad’s will.

MARGO
Indeed.
And as you know,
when that happens,
the estate goes intestate.

CARRIE
I know.
We split the money
evenly between us,
even though I was
cut out of the will.

MARGO
Well, that’s true -- in theory.

CARRIE
What do you mean in theory?

MARGO
Well, I’m afraid Todd
isn’t terribly happy about it,
so he convinced Nate to
lawyer up with him and contest it.

CARRIE
WHAT?

Laura leans in into the doorway.
Listening. Concerned.

MARGO
They even got you an attorney.

CARRIE
I can get MY OWN attorney,
thank you very much.

MARGO
Relax. I suggested him.
He’s my attorney.
And I’m paying his bill.

CARRIE
What is this, a conspiracy?

MARGO
Nonsense.
I just wanted you
to have a fighting chance.
Todd hired a real tiger.

CARRIE
So where’s the meeting.

MARGO
Todd said he emailed you
the details.

CARRIE
I’ll have to check my schedule
and get back to him.
Gotta go, Mom. Love you.

She hangs up.
Puts her head in her hands.

Laura comes in,
gently rubs Carrie’s shoulders.

LAURA
I take it that was bad news.

CARRIE
You could say that.

LAURA
Why don’t I fix us some breakfast
and you can tell me all about it.
(off her look)
Hey. Just because I’m a porn star
doesn’t mean I don’t know how
to scramble a couple eggs.

The phone RINGS again.
Carrie looks at it. Laura nods.

LAURA
Answer it.
When you’re done,
breakfast is served.

RING. Carrie nods.
Laura smiles. Leaves.
Carrie picks up.

CARRIE
Carrie Love Investigations,
this is Carrie --

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. CHEAP MOTEL - DAY
One of those post-war jobs up on stilts
with parking below.

We see THE STARLET written on the wall
in cursive lettering.

INT. THE STARLET MOTEL - ROOM - DAY
Beyond bland and cliched.

Was probably kind of cool,
once upon a time.

Maybe during
the Kennedy administration.

Marnie sits on the bed,
talking on her cell.
Beyond freaked out.

MARNIE
Is this Carrie Love?

CARRIE
The one and only.

MARNIE
Your website says
F'ast, cheap and out of control -- '

CARRIE
Viral marketing gimmick.
Cuts through the clutter.
What can I do for you?

MARNIE
It’s about -- my father.

CARRIE
Isn’t it always?