See You In The Obituaries

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of GUN-WILD, trigger-happy teenage heiress Cam Clinch, her squeeze Rod Funk and psycho bank robbers Hondo Ruff and Net Cargo arrive at the bank and get ready to rob the joint ...


EXT. FIRST FISHERMAN’S BANK - NOON
A small-town plain brick building
on a Main Street corner.

Rod’s Olds pulls up
to the curb in front.

INT. OLDS CONVERTIBLE - CONTINUOUS
On the car stereo,
the Ventures’ HAWAII FIVE-O.

Hondo leans over, CLICKS it off.

NET
Hey! I LIKE that song.

HONDO
This ain’t no TV show.
This is serious shit, girlie.
We’re jacking a fucking BANK.

CAM
That was from a TV show?

ROD
You don’t remember HAWAII FIVE-O?
Jack Lord? Book ‘em, Danno?

CAM
Hawaii-what-o?
Book ‘em who-o?

ROD
I’m getting old.

HONDO
ENOUGH ALREADY.
Who the fuck you
think you are, Tarantino?
(SLAPS the seat)
Go check the bank window, Gidget.

Cam opens her door.
Gets out. SLAMS it.

CAM
Stop calling me GIDGET.
My name is CAM.

NET
(imitates her)
'Stop calling me Gidget.
My name is CAM.'

She drains her beer. BURPS.

HONDO
Excuse me, CAM.
PLEASE go check and see
how many customers
are in the bank,
PRETTY PLEASE?

CAM
That’s better.

Cam storms over
to the bank entrance.

HONDO
Jesus fucking Christ on a stick,
what’s got her panties in a bind?

ROD
She told me
her story last night.
She’s a runaway
from a mental institution.
Daddy locked her up.
It’s -- fucked up.

HONDO
(big smile)
Don’t tell me --
her daddy diddled her?

ROD
Worse.

HONDO
Now THAT’S my kinda girl.

NET
(PUNCHES him in the arm)
SHUT UP.

Hondo stares at her.

HONDO
You mean -- ?

NET
I said SHUT THE FUCK UP.
(beat)
Asshole.

HONDO
Jeez. Touchy --

EXT. BANK ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS
Cam goes to the window.
Peers inside. Turns around.

Comes back to the car.
Leans over the side. Whispers.

CAM
Only a couple people.
Two Juicy Couture
high school bitches
sucking machiattas.

HONDO
Piece of cake.
Places please, kids.
It’s show-time.

Hondo and Net
slide on baseball caps.
Shades.

Tie scarves around their necks.
Pile out of the car.

HONDO
(to Rod)
See you in the obituaries --