Second Time's A Charm

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 38 of BABY HEISTER, teenage heister Kelsey Hazard, her grandparents Doc and Jo Hazard and her flame Simon Leeds begin robbing the bank where Kelsey's parents were killed trying to rob it ...


INT. EMPTY STORE - DAY
An empty space with a cement floor.
Construction equipment. Piles of lumber.

The gang wears coveralls and hard hats.
Simon stands at a makeshift table
with a metal box on it.

He FLICKS a switch.
A red light starts BLINKING.

SIMON
Simon says SCRAMBLED.

A HONK-HONK from outside.

DOC
Dumpster’s here. Places, please.

Simon, Doc and Jo pull goggles down
from their helmets.

Scarves up from around their necks.
Faces now covered.

IN THE ALLEY
The Dumpster truck rolls to a stop
in front of the store.

Simon walks up to it. Waves.
The DRIVER (20’s), big and burly, gets out.
Climbs down carrying a clipboard.

SIMON
Boy, am I glad to see you.
My boss is gonna have my ass.

BURLY DRIVER
Got a lot of shit, huh?

Simon CLIPS him on the head with his gun.
He falls, THWUNK.

IN THE STORE
Doc looks at Kelsey.

DOC
It’s showtime, baby heister.

Kelsey nods. Unzips her coveralls.
Steps out of them.

Now resplendent in Daisy Dukes and
a tight, denim top knotted above her belly button.
She takes off her hard hat.

Undoes her ponytail.
Shakes her hair free.
Puts it back on.

Then mirrored shades.
Applies blood-red lipstick.

KELSEY
Think this’ll work?

DOC
Won’t know what hit ‘em.

EXT. BACK ALLEY - MOMENTS LATER
Simon sits in the truck,
lowers the Dumpster in front of the exit,
leaving just enough room for someone to squeeze by.

AT THE END OF THE ALLEY
The ARMORED TRUCK arrives.
Comes to a stop behind the Dumpster.
The driver HONKS his horn.

Simon looks in his rear view mirror.
Gets out of the truck.

Starts walking over the armored car.
Waving and smiling.

Kelsey starts coming down the alley
on the opposite side.

Both guards in the truck stare at her.
Simon walks up to the driver-side window.
Driver sees him.

DRIVER
Move the Dumpster. It’s in the way.

Simon pretends he can’t hear.
Silently moves his mouth like he’s talking.

Driver opens the door,
starts to get out.

Just at that moment,
Kelsey approaches the passenger side door.

Pulls out a cigarette.
RAPS on the window.

KELSEY
Hey. You gotta light?

PASSENGER-SIDE GUARD
No, sorry.

She gets closer. Smiles.
Passenger-Side stares. Wow.

ON THE OTHER SIDE
Driver Guard gets in Simon’s face.

DRIVER
I said MOVE the fucking DUMPSTER.

Simon CLIPS Driver on the head with his gun,
knocking him to the ground.

Passenger Side sees,
reaches for his weapon --

as Simon JUMPS in the cab,
JAMS his gun in his face.

SIMON
Ever heard the expression
'explodes in a red mist?'

IN THE REAR COMPARTMENT
The THIRD GUARD tries working the radio,
without success.

THIRD GUARD
Hello? Hello? Come in, GODDAMMIT.
We’re being ROBBED.

AT THE END OF THE ALLEY
A panel truck backs up toward us.
Reaches the armored car. Stops. Jo gets out.

AT THE BANK EXIT
Doc stands to the side of the door.
Jo joins on the other side.

They pull out Uzis.
Nod to each other.

The door OPENS.
Out comes a BIG BANK GUARD.

Sees the Dumpster blocking the way.
Doc presses his Uzi against his chest.

DOC
Make a move and you’re shredded beef.

SIMON AND KELSEY
Press their guns against the guards’ heads.
Take their guns.

KELSEY
Now take out your keys
and open the door.

They reach into their pockets.
Pull them out.

SIMON
Slowly. No sudden movements.

KELSEY
We don’t wanna hurt anybody.

In unison, they open the door --
revealing THIRD GUARD, crouched on one knee.
Gun aimed at them with both hands.

THIRD GUARD
Shit.

KELSEY
Toss it, NOW.

He does.

SIMON
Get out.

IN THE BANK
Doc and Jo walk Big Bank Guard
toward the back.

The MANAGER, a puffy, corporate type
in beige wearing a goatee and glasses sees him.
Then Doc and Jo. Their guns.

BEIGE BANK MANAGER
Wh-what’s going on?

DOC
What does it look like?

BEIGE BANK MANAGER
AGAIN?

DOC
Second time’s a charm.
(beat)
In your office, NOW.

He stares. Open-mouthed.

JO
You heard the man. MOVE IT.

IN THE PANEL TRUCK
Simon handcuffs the guards to a steel pole
just under the ceiling of the compartment.
Kelsey holds a gun on them.

DRIVER
You’ll never get away with this.

Simon STUFFS a rag in his mouth.

SIMON
Watch us --