Service With A Smile

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. Having a hard time getting back into the daily grind after the holi-daze? Then it's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of LITTLE GIRL BLUE, during a home invasion on Christmas Eve, private eye Carrie Love and her ex, detective Bernie Keko, subdue two of the bad guys who have broken in upstairs. Meanwhile, downstairs, Carrie's stepmother Eva and her Brother Seth fight off the other intruders while Carrie's mother Margo recovers from a stroke ...


INT. MARGO'S MANSION - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
Tolly and Porkpie huddle.

TOLLY
You check the rest of the rooms on this floor. I
’ll go downstairs. That fucking bitch is so close
I can smell her.

PORKPIE
Okay.
(beat)
Really? You can smell her?

TOLLY
It’s an expression, you idiot. C’mon, move it.

They start for the door.

IN THE STUDY
Seth, Blue, Eva and Layla watch Margo sleep.

LAYLA
It’s working.

EVA
You can thank the Polytechnic Institute of Berlin.

BLUE
(to Seth)
What do you think’s going on upstairs?

SETH
I don’t know.
Margo opens her eyes. Looks dazed. A weak smile.

MARGO
Well, isn’t this a lovely reunion.

BLUE
Mom. How do you feel?

MARGO
Just -- fabulous. For some reason I feel like --
listening to the Grateful Dead.
(looks at Eva)
Eva. How wonderful to see you.
You’re looking lovely as usual.

Everyone exchanges glances.

EVA
Sometimes the combination of medications
can strip away the patient’s inhibitions.

A soft THUMP outside the door.

SETH
What was that?

He walks over to the door.
Puts his ear against it. Listens.

SETH (CONT'D)
Someone’s out there.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - FRONT DRIVE - AT THAT MOMENT
Gero and TWO GOONS stand in the driveway.
His LIMO pulls up in front of them.
They get in. It pulls away.

INT. LIMOUSINE - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Gero sits in the back, with who we now recognize
as Strange-Looking Goon and Ugly Goon from the party.

DRIVER
Where to, sir?

GERO
Go down to Sunset and turn right.
I’ll let you know when we get there.

IN THE UPSTAIRS BEDROOM
Carrie argues with Tip on the walkie talkie.

CARRIE
Now listen to me, asshole. This is for REAL.
I’m a private detective, and a FORMER COP.
I need you to call the REAL COPS,
and send a couple units over here.
I’m here with my family,
and we’re BEING ATTACKED by INTRUDERS.

PORKPIE (O.C.)
Put down the walkie, NOW.

PORKPIE
Walks into the room. Gun on Carrie.
She DROPS it. CLANK.

Bernie WHIPS out his gun. Points it at Porkpie.

BERNIE
You shoot and you’re DEAD.

PORKPIE
You shoot and SHE’S dead.

CARRIE
Fellas, fellas -- let’s calm down here.

INT. TIP’S SECURITY VEHICLE - AT THAT MOMENT
He listens to the walkie. Presses ‘talk.’

TIP
Hello, are you still there?
I believe you, I believe you --
I need your address.
(listens)
Hello?
(beat)
Shit.

He puts down the walkie.
Picks up his cell phone.
PUNCHES a number. Listens.

TIP (CONT’D)
911? I’d like to report a crime in progress.
(beat)
A home invasion.
(beat)
Yes, I’ll hold.

INT. MARGO’S MANSION - STUDY - AT THAT MOMENT
Seth grabs his gun. Aims it at the door.

SETH
There’s someone out there.

BLUE
Shit.

EVA
(aims hers, whispers)
Let’s get ‘em.

MARGO
We have company?

LAYLA
Shh.
Layla adjusts the drip.
Margo goes out like a light.

EVA
We know you’re OUT THERE,
and we’ve ALL GOT GUNS.
So why don’t you
GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS HOUSE.

SETH
(looks at her)
Eva --

OUTSIDE THE DOOR
Tolly steps away from the door.
Pulls out his gun.

TOLLY
What the fuck?

He puts his hand on the doorknob.
Slowly turns it. Pushes --

INSIDE THE STUDY
Eva sees the doorknob turning.
The door opening --

EVA
The DOOR.

She SHOOTS. BANG.
Blue SHOOTS. BANG.
The rifle KNOCKS her shoulder. She JERKS.

Seth FIRES OFF a BLAST OF ROUNDS -
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

OUTSIDE THE DOOR
Tolly reaches around, AND FIRES into the room.

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

INSIDE THE STUDY
Everybody DUCKS. HITS the floor.
Eva and Blue reload.

Seth FIRES again. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.
Eyes on fire.

INT. CARRIE’S BEDROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Gunshots RING OUT from downstairs. No one moves.

Porkpie holds his gun on Carrie.
Listening. Concentrating.

Carrie looks at Bernie.
Her eyes flicker. He slightly nods.


Confused, Porkpie moves his gun
from Carrie to Bernie.

Carrie SHOOTS him in the head. BANG.
He goes down. THWUMP.

CARRIE
(picks up the walkie)
Haven’t used that one in a long time.

BERNIE
Like old home week. Grab his gun.

CARRIE
(takes it)
Let’s go downstairs. Join the party.

BERNIE
Better take the service stairs.

CARRIE
Service with a smile.

BERNIE
Don’t get carried away.
I’m still mad at you.