Breaking Bad

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of BABY HEISTER, teenage wannabe bank robber Kelsey Hazard starts working at her job at the local convenience store, but when she gets robbed at gunpoint, the shit hits the fan ... and the ATM.


INT. STOP N’ GULP - DAY
Kelsey sits behind the counter.
Verne stands nearby showing her the ropes.
Beyond excited. Pointing out stuff.

VERNE
Now over there’s the baseball bat,
an over there’s the shotgun.

KELSEY
A SHOTGUN? Nice.

VERNE
You know how to handle one?

KELSEY
Of course.

VERNE
And remember, you don’t know
the combination to the safe.

KELSEY
You didn’t give it to me.

VERNE
I mean, in case someone
tries to rob you.

Kelsey nods. Blank stare.

VERNE
Well, that’s about it.
I’m gonna go to the bank, make a deposit.
(meaningfully)
I’ll come back and check on you later.

KELSEY
Gee. Can’t wait.

VERNE
I was thinkin’ -- when your shift ends,
how bout you and I gettin’ a bite to eat?

KELSEY
Oh, gosh. I can’t. I’m busy. Sorry.

VERNE
Another time. See ya later.

He tips his cap. Walks out the door.
The bell over the door JINGLES as he leaves.
Kelsey sighs. Lights up a smoke.

KELSEY
Thank fucking GOD.
(imitates him)
'How bout you and I gettin’ a bite to eat?'
In your dreams, fat ass.

The bell JINGLES. In walks Ray.
He sees Kelsey. Big grin.

RAY
Well, what have we got here?

KELSEY
Hey.

RAY
They let you smoke in here?

KELSEY
What does it look like?

He shakes his head.
Goes to the cooler.

Pulls out a twelve-pack of cheap beer.
Grabs some Slim Jims.

Brings them over to the counter.
Kelsey starts ringing them up.

RAY
You like working here?

KELSEY
What do YOU think?

RAY
Guess beggars can’t be choosers.

KELSEY
(looks at the register)
That’ll be twelve-fifty-three.

RAY
(hands her a bill)
Do any more thinking about my offer?

KELSEY
(takes it, counts out his change)
Doc told me to stay away from you.
Says you can’t be trusted.

RAY
You always do everything Doc tells you?

She stares at him.
Narrows her eyes.

KELSEY
Depends.

RAY
Ever shot a gun?
(off her blank stare)
Wanna learn?

KELSEY
(faint smile)
Hell, yeah --

RAY
What time you get off work?

KELSEY
Midnight.

The bell JINGLES. In walks Doc.

DOC
Thought I’d come by and see how --
(sees Ray)
I thought I told you to
STAY AWAY FROM HER.

RAY
Hey. I was just getting some beer.
I didn’t know she was --

DOC
Get the fuck out of here.
If I see you sniffin’ around her again,
there’ll be HELL to pay. You HEAR me?

OUTSIDE IN THE PARKING LOT
A shitty, beat-up puke green
Dodge Dart Swinger ROARS into the lot.
SCREECHES to a stop.

IN THE CAR
Sits a jittery young LOCAL KID (17),
all hopped up on meth.

Been up for days.
He pulls out a snifter.
SNORTS a bump. Then another.
Finishes a can of beer. CRUMPLES it.

Pulls out a small, shitty GUN.
Reaches up under his cowboy hat.
Pulls down a stocking over his face.

IN THE STORE
Doc gets in Ray’s face.

RAY
What are you gonna do,
old man? Hit me?

DOC
I tried asking you nicely.

The door BANGS OPEN.
In walks Meth Kid.

Sees Doc and Ray.
Starts waving the gun around.

METH KID
Everybody ON THE FLOOR.
This is a ROBBERY.

Doc and Ray raise their hands.

RAY
Okay, okay.
Just don’t hurt anybody --

METH KID
I said DOWN ON THE FLOOR, NOW.
DO IT. DO IT. NOW.

DOC
Easy now --

Doc and Ray start to get down -- and BANG.
Meth Kid’s head EXPLODES IN A RED MIST.
Blood and brains SPRAY the ATM.

KELSEY
Stands behind the counter.
Holding the shotgun. Surprised.

Quivering with adrenaline.
Staring at the body. In shock.

KELSEY
(whispers)
Holy shit.

DOC
You okay?

KELSEY
Okay?

RAY
She’s a natural.

DOC
Shut up.

The door JINGLES.
In walks a SHERIFF’S DEPUTY.

(20’s), young, eager,
a buzz-cut local kid.
The polar opposite of Meth.

BUZZ-CUT DEPUTY
(sees the body)
What the HELL?

DOC
Officer. That man
was trying to rob the store.
(nods at Kelsey)
And Kelsey here stopped him.

BUZZ-CUT DEPUTY
Well done, little lady.
(bends over, looks at the body)
Well, I’ll be. That’s Verne’s kid.

KELSEY
The OWNER?

DOC
What the hell?

BUZZ-CUT DEPUTY
Yeah. Verne reported him missing
a few days ago. Was on another binge.
(shakes his head)
Breaking Bad again --