Uptown Girl

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, downtown hipster Rommy Mont declares his undying love for uptown girl Jool Kapp to his best friend Merk Rowe, who discovers that his sister Gaga has become infected and ejected from the republic. Rommy vows to go visit Jool, and Merk vows to find Gaga, and give her the vacine he's developed ...


INT. NEIGHBORHOOD BAR - NIGHT
One of those classic, run-down,
shitty neighborhood joints
where the locals hang out.

Rommy and Merk sit at dark table
in the back with a pitcher of beer.
Eating peanuts.

ROMMY
She’s amazing.
I’ve never met a girl that’s
so smart, funny, confident -- ALIVE.
(beat)
And STACKED.

MERK
So what’s where you disappeared.

ROMMY
Yeah. There’s just one problem.

MERK
What’s that?

ROMMY
Can you keep a secret?

MERK
I can, but it might keep me.

ROMMY
What?
You’re always talking in riddles.

Merk smiles.
CRACKS open a peanut.

MERK
You quarrel with someone
for cracking nuts
because you have hazel eyes.

ROMMY
Yeah. Stuff like that.
How do you THINK of that?

MERK
That’s actually from the Bard.

ROMMY
Okay, okay -- enough.
The thing is --
(sighs)
Jool’s a KAPP.

MERK
WHAT? Really?

A phone behind the bar RINGS.
The BARTENDER answers it.

ROMMY
Yeah. And she said she probably
couldn’t come downtown again
because she was gonna
catch hell from her uncle.

MERK
So what are you going to do?

ROMMY
I’m gonna convince my father
that she’s different, she’s cool --
and not like your typical Kapp --
(beat)
And then I’m gonna uptown
and see her again.

Bartender calls out to Merk.
Holds up the receiver.

BARTENDER
Hey, Merk -- phone’s for you.

MERK
(looks)
Thanks.
(to Rommy)
Be right back.

He gets up.
Goes to the bar.
Takes the phone. Listens.

Rommy pours another beer.
Takes a sip. Lost in thought.

Merk comes rushing back.
Looks wild-eyed.

MERK
My sister got infected.
She’s been ejected
from the republic --

ROMMY
What the hell?
How did you --

MERK
My father.
They’ve been looking
for me all day,
but couldn’t find me
because of the street fair --

ROMMY
Holy shit.

MERK
No shit.
I gotta go home.
C’mon, come walk with me.

EXT. BLEECKER STREET - NIGHT
The fair’s still going full-steam.
Merk and Rommy go down the sidewalk,
avoiding the crowd.

MERK
I’m going to go find her, Rommy.
Give her the vaccine.

ROMMY
Are you crazy?
Do you know how
dangerous that is?

MERK
She’s my twin, Rommy.
I have to.
(beat)
I’m going to give you the formula.
In case something happens to me.
It’ll be safe with you.
I trust you.

ROMMY
Okay.
So what’s the plan?

MERK
Simple.
Find my sister,
save her life,
bring her home,
and then save mankind.

ROMMY
Works for me --