Drill, Baby, Drill

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 2 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, wealthy power broker Carling Kapp hosts a lavish party at his tony Fifth Avenue mansion. Meanwhile, upstairs, his daughter Jool tells her nanny Nin that she would rather die than make an appearance at the party. She'd rather go downtown to the street fair ... and hang out with 'real people' ...


INT. NEWS STUDIO - NIGHT
A GLOSSY, AIRBRUSHED ANCHORMAN
sits behind his desk with a
PERT, SMILING BLONDE ANCHORWOMAN.

SMILING BLOND ANCHORWOMAN
Drilling commenced in Harlem today,
where officials believe there
might be enough oil to keep
government vehicles in operation
for another few years --
and for private citizens
that can afford
one-hundred dollars a gallon.
(shakes her head)
I can remember when it was ten bucks --

GLOSSY, AIRBRUSHED ANCHORMAN
This just in.
The Department of Health Control
estimates that there still might be
several thousand Infected-Americans
in the republic.
(looks at Smiling)
I don’t know about you,
but that reward money
is sure an incentive --

SMILING BLOND ANCHORWOMAN
Tell me about it.
I turned in my mother-in-law,
and it paid for my vacation to Central Park.

They both laugh.
Glossy suddenly looks serious.

GLOSSY, AIRBRUSHED ANCHORMAN
In other news, tonight in Times Square,
another fight broke out
between the Monts and Kapps.
Fortunately, police officers arrived
and broke up the fight
before anyone was badly injured.

SMILING BLOND ANCHORWOMAN
Due to a recent rash of such incidents,
Republic of Manhattan president Don Gotti
has declared that anyone involved in
future acts of violence will be shot on sight.

GLOSSY, AIRBRUSHED ANCHORMAN
I must say, Nobu --
it’s a sad state of affairs
to have this trouble on the
eve of the tenth of October weekend.
What a way to start celebrating
the birth our republic --

NOBU
Indeed, Brock --
(beat)
We now go to Paul David Brazill,
live at The Madison Square Coliseum,
where the Ultimate Extreme Gladiator finals
are just getting underway.
Tonight, it’s black vs. white
in a fight to the death.

BROCK
Again?

The look at each other. Big smiles.

EXT. UPPER EAST SIDE - MANSION - NIGHT
A tony, upper-crust monstrosity on upper Fifth Avenue.
Three stories of vulgarity. Takes up the whole block.
Nothing succeeds like excess.

A line stretch limos spill out
DIGNITARIES, CELEBRITIES and other
SUPER-RICH ASSHOLES who then walk up
the red carpet to the entrance with their BODYGUARDS.

INT. MANSION - GRAND BALLROOM - NIGHT
Like something out of Versailles.
GUESTS mingle, take drinks and
finger sandwiches from SERVANTS.

Onstage, GREEN DAY plays for the crowd.
In their 60’s, they still rock.

CAMERA finds CARLING KAPP (50’),
scion of the family.

Distinguished good looks. Big smile.
You’d smile, too if you lived here.
He charms a group standing around him.

CARLING
My dear, Harlem HAD to be burned down.
We have BIG PLANS for the area.

ANOREXIC SOCIETY MATRON
Oh? And what exactly ARE
your plans, my dear Carling?

CARLING
A country club RESORT --
surrounding a LAKE.

BIG, FAT CAPITALIST PIG
Astounding, my dear boy.
And I assume membership will be restricted?

CARLING
But of course --
(sips his champagne)
Of course, given that our construction methods
have become rather medieval as of late,
it will take some time --

BIG, FAT CAPITALIST PIG
Quite. But first we have to pillage all the OIL.

CARLING
(smiles, raises his glass)
Drill, baby, drill.

They all LAUGH.

INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - NIGHT
Part of a lux suite of rooms on an upper floor.
Very grand. Tasteful. Tons of books.
A big, old globe.

Old-school computer with a giant monitor.
A big record library.

Sitting on the bed is JOOL KAPP (17),
Carling’s niece.

Very pretty, but doesn’t work it.
No makeup. Hair in a tomboyish bob.
Smart. Feisty. Strong. Tons of self-will.

Think a young Kate Hepburn.
With a dash of Ellen Page.
Rakish in slacks, fitted jacket and boots.

JOOL
But I don’t want to go down there.
I can’t stand those people.
They’re all phonies.
My IQ goes down a point
every minute I’m around them.
All they care about is
money, class, privilege.
They have no conception about
what’s really important in life.

Standing nearby is NIN (40’s),
Jool’s nanny since childhood.
Smart. Sleek. Very Emma Peel.
Now Jool’s advisor. Confidant.

NIN
But your Uncle Carling expects you
to make an appearance.

JOOL
Tough toenails.
I’m just a trophy to him.
Something to show off.

NIN
Can’t you just humor him?

JOOL
No, I can’t. I’m a person, Nin --
not a THING.
(off her look)
And I’m tired of being cooped up in this mausoleum.
I feel trapped. Like a bird in a gilded cage.
I want to GO OUT. See the world. Explore.

NIN
Out? Where?
You know the streets aren’t safe.

JOOL
Fiddlesticks. I’m a big girl.
I can take of myself.

NIN
Oh, you can, can you.
And where do you plan on going?

JOOL
Downtown.

NIN
Why on earth would you
want to go downtown?

JOOL
There’s a big Tenth of October
street fair tonight, totally old-school.
Food, drink, live music,
you know -- a street fair.

NIN
Ah, yes. I’ve read about those --

JOOL
I can take a cab
and have them wait for me.
It’ll totally be safe.
And I won’t stay long. I promise.
I just wanna see regular people having FUN.
What’s so wrong about that?

NIN
Kind of like -- anthropology.

JOOL
Exactly. So can I go? Please?

NIN
You feel very strongly about this --
(beat)
Go. Have fun.
But be back by eleven, okay?

JOOL
YES. Thank you, Nin. THANK YOU.
(clasps her hands)
Omigod, I’m so excited I could plotz.

NIN
I expect a full report when you get back.
(beat)
Oh. And don’t forget your gun.

JOOL
Of course not.

She walks over to her desk.
Opens a drawer.

Pulls out a SIG SAUER MOSQUITO.
RACKS out the clip. Checks it.

SHOVES it back in, CHINK.
Puts it her purse.
Looks at Nin. Smiles brightly.

JOOL
Don’t leave home without it.