Super-Sized

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Halloween. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 11 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy shows up for his romantic meeting with Jool at the ruins of the Disney Store in Times Square ... where unfortunately a mutant zombie has other plans for him. Then Jool shows up, and suffers a similar fate ...


EXT. TIMES SQUARE - DAY
Rommy stands in front of what
used to be the Disney Store.

Most of the signage is gone.
Now reads ‘Di_sey S_ore.’

And, underneath it,
HOT LESBIAN NURSES in flashing red neon.

A crowd of HOMELESS PEOPLE, HOOKERS
and various other FREAKS parade past him
like something out of a John Waters film.

ROMMY
(sings softly to himself)
Everybody wants some,
I want some TOO --

A VICIOUS-LOOKING HOMELESS MAN IN RAGS
approaches him.

ROMMY
Everybody wants some, how ‘bout YOU?
(sees him, steps back)
Excuse me.

VICIOUS-LOOKING HOMELESS MAN IN RAGS
Hungry. Need to -- EAT.

Rommy pulls out some change.
Offers it to him.

ROMMY
Here you go --

But Vicious-Looking ignores it.
He GRABS Rommy’s arm,
YANKS it to his mouth and CHOMPS on it.
Blood SQUIRTS in the air.

ROMMY
OW, HEY --

Suddenly Vicious-Looking’s head
EXPLODES IN A RED MIST,
drenching Rommy with blood and goo.

A pair of COMMANDOS IN BLACK
appear out of nowhere with shotguns.
Watch Vicious-Looking’s body
crumple into a heap.

ROMMY
Holy SHIT.

The Taller Commando
pulls out a scanner.
Waves it across Rommy.

It VIBRATES and HUMS.
He reads the meter.

TALLER COMMANDO
Infection level three.

BULKY COMMANDO
Already? DAMN.
Let’s bag ‘em, Marko.

ROMMY
Bag ‘em? No, WAIT.
I’m waiting for my --

In the blink of an eye Taller
WHIPS OUT a giant black body bag
from his backpack --
and Bulky SHOVES Rommy into it.

ROMMY
(muffled screams)
Hey, let me OUT OF HERE.
You can’t DO this.
I’m supposed to meet my --

Marko PUNCHES the bag -- THWUMP.
Silence.

MARKO
Don’t get mad. Get Glad.

BULKY COMMANDO
(looks at his watch)
Let’s drop him off right away.
If we hurry, we’ll have time
for a meat log afterward --

And they carry him away.

Just then Jool appears.
Out of breath.

She scans the passing crowd
of filth. No Rommy.
She looks at her watch. Puzzled.

JOOL
Where IS he?

A DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
passes by. Stops. Smells Jool.

Her hideous, deformed,
face a rictus of death.

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Mmm. Someone smells -- clean.

JOOL
(starts backing away)
Stay AWAY from me --

Disgusting gets in her face.
Pushes her into an alcove.

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Is that SOFT SOAP?

JOOL
I said GET AWAY FROM ME --

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Wanna NECK?

Jool LASHES out at her,
SWIPES her nails across Disgusting’s face.

Disgusting SCREAMS,
RAKES hers across Jool’s face.

Jool HEAD-BUTTS Disgusting,
who REELS back. Momentarily stunned.

Another PAIR OF COMMANDOS
appears and GRABS Disgusting.
One of them waves a scanner over her.

REPULSED COMMANDO
Holy fucking SHIT.
Infection level SIX.

Jool slides around them.
Then RUNS away.

FREAKED-OUT COMMANDO
Piece of shit’s gonna turn ANY MINUTE.

The commandos pull out ASSAULT RIFLES.
Stand back. Aim their weapons at Disgusting --
just as she starts MORPHING into
a hideous, screeching, chattering ZOMBIE.

They OPEN FIRE and SHRED
the repulsive creature into a
frappe’ of blood, bones, puss, brains and goo.

REPULSED COMMANDO
Talk about super-sized --

FREAKED-OUT COMMANDO
I’m gonna get sick.
(realizes)
Hey. Where’d the girl go?

REPULSED COMMANDO
Fuck it.
I’m not chasing after her.
They don’t pay us enough.
(looks at the mess)
I mean look, now we gotta
CLEAN UP this shit --