Eat Shit And Melt

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, after being ejected from The Republic of Manhattan, Gaga gets chased by rabid, mutant zombies through the streets of Hoboken ... and gets rescued by Brick Cosmo, 'infected revolutionary soldier' ...


EXT. NEW JERSEY - CITY STREET - NIGHT
Across the river, what once was a
bustling berg is now a burned-out shell.
In ruins. A deserted slum.

GAGA comes RUNNING
down the street.

Pursued by the trio of
zombies we saw earlier.
They start GAINING on her.

She turns, DUCKS down an alley.
Huffing and panting.

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT
Gaga RUNS down the alley,
the zombies in hot pursuit.

She sees a door.
YANKS it open.
RUNS inside.

The zombies follow.

INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Gaga TEARS ASS through the kitchen,
GRABBING pots and pans and
HURLING them at the zombies.

But they BOUNCE off them
and CLANG onto the floor.
She RUNS into --

INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - MAIN ROOM - NIGHT
Dark. Eerie. Chairs up on tables.
Cobwebs. Rats SCURRY about.

Gaga DASHES through the room.
JUMPS under a table and hides.

The zombies RACE into the room.
Stop. Look around. Sniffing.

The front door FLIES OPEN.
A tall, rugged GUY (40’s) walks in.
Dead ringer for Bruce Campbell.

He holds a giant
‘super-soaker’ squirt gun.

Meet BRICK COSMO,
revolutionary warrior.

BRICK
Eat shit and MELT,
mother-undead-FUCKERS.

He SPRAYS them
with a brown liquid.

The zombies fall back, SCREAMING.
Their skin BUBBLES in a WHITE MIST.

They HIT the ground
and DISSOLVE into a
gooey puddle of pulp and bones.

BRICK
Disgusting.

Brick puts his weapon down.
Steps around it.

BRICK
You can come out now.
The coast is clear.

GAGA (O.C.)
Who-who are you?

BRICK
Brick Cosmo, soldier in
the infected revolutionary army.
C’mon out. I won’t hurt you.
(sings)
Buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta --

Gaga comes out from under the table.
Sees the zombie puddle.

GAGA
Thanks --
(gulps)
How did you do that?

BRICK
(holds up the gun)
Believe it or not, gasoline.
Takes ‘em out faster than
you can say 'pay at the pump.'

GAGA
Why not just shoot them?

BRICK
We’re kinda low
on bullets these days.

GAGA
You said --
'infected revolutionary army?'

BRICK
Yes, ma’am.
The revolution WON’T be televised --
but we’re still gonna kick ass.
(looks her over)
You must be a newbie.
Wanna enlist?
We offer room, board
and zombie protection.

GAGA
Yeah, sure.
What do I need to do?

BRICK
Just follow me
to our secret headquarters,
and we’ll fill you in.

EXT. ABANDONED CITY STREET - NIGHT
Brick leads Gaga down the ruined avenue.

BRICK
Keep your eyes peeled.
These mofos can MOVE.

GAGA
So how many are there
in your revolutionary army?

BRICK
Now that you’re on board, six.
But that’s just our cell.
There’s TONS of us out here,
and we’re getting ready to
rock the fucking Casbah.

GAGA
What’s your plan?

BRICK
Ever seen 'Escape From New York?'

GAGA
Yeah, sure. I love old movies.

BRICK
Well, it’s kinda the reverse --