Two Heads Are Better Than One

Hey there, crime kids. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of NOWHERE GIRL, things really heat up when private security office Renny Quick and his men arrive at the Al Queda hideout in the Hollywood Hills and are confronted by the terrorists. Meanwhile, Homeland Security agent April Street, handcuffed and prisoner in the poolhouse, gets a little assistance from CIA spook Shag Holiday ...


EXT. MANSION - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
The Driver and Renny stand at the front door.
Their car’s lights FLASH behind them in the driveway.

RENNY
(to Driver)
Ring it again, Carlos.

CARLOS
(presses the buzzer)
This is bullshit.
Let’s get the fuck outta here.
Go hit Fatburger.

RENNY
Hold on. Not so fucking fast.
Something’s not right.
I can smell it.
All the lights are on --
and they don’t answer the door?

The front door SWINGS OPEN.
Revealing Rich Husband, with a big,
weird smile on his face.
Eyes full of terror.

RICH HUSBAND
Sorry to keep you gentlemen waiting.
What seems to be the problem?

IN THE FOYER, AGAINST THE WALL
Kamal stands out of sight,
holding an Uzi on Rich.

IN THE DOORWAY
Rich blinks, raises his eyebrows expectantly.

CARLOS
We received over a dozen 911 calls
from a number at this address.

RICH HUSBAND
From this address? Are you sure?

CARLOS
Yeah. We can track where a call comes from.
It was this address.

RICH HUSBAND
I don’t know what to say.
No one here called you -- perhaps your --
tracking made a mistake.
(beat)
Oh, wait a minute --
maybe it’s my son’s phone --
but he’s not home right now.
Please be assured that I will
discipline him for this.
And please accept my apologies.

RENNY
Could I please use your bathroom?
I hate to ask, but it’s kind of an emergency.

Renny holds his crotch.
Does that ‘I gotta pee’ dance.

Rich looks startled, looks to his left.

RENNY (CONT’D)
I thought so.

He PUSHES his way past Rich,
and runs straight into Kamal.
Aiming his Uzi at Renny’s stomach.

KAMAL
Gentlemen. This is most unfortunate.
Please come in and make yourselves --
our hostages.

Renny LEAPS at Kamal,
grabs for control of the gun.

It SHOOTS WILDLY, MOWING DOWN Carlos.
The GUARDS run in and GRAB Renny,
PISTOL-WHIP him into submission.

KAMAL (CONT’D)
(looks at the body)
Hurry up and bring it in.
Put the car in the garage.
And then tie up our visitor.
(beat)
Let’s have some fun.

INT. POOLHOUSE - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
April sits on the couch with her hands cuffed.
Another set connect her ankle
to a leg of the coffee table.

APRIL
Fucking WHORE version of ME.

She raises her wrists to her hair,
pulls out a hairpin.

Puts it in her mouth.
Starts working it on the cuffs on her hands.

APRIL (CONT’D)
(mumbles)
Just wait until I get my hands on her --

Her cell phone starts RINGING
on the floor a few feet away.

APRIL (CONT’D)
SHIT.

It RINGS again.

She furiously works the hairpin on the lock.
No luck.

RING-RING.
APRIL (CONT’D)

FUCK.
Shag walks through the ruined door, gun raised.
He stops. Looks at the Vespa. Then April.

RING-RING.

SHAG
CHERRY. You -- changed your hair.

APRIL
I’m not Cherry. I’m April.

SHAG
Jesus, You look just like her.
You could be twins.

RING-RING.

APRIL
So that’s her name. Who are you?

SHAG
Shag Holiday, CIA.
(beat)
She’s my ex.

APRIL
Pleased to meet you.
April Street, Homeland Security.

RING-RING.

SHAG
(nods at the phone)
You want me to get that?

APRIL
Nah. I know who it is.
It can wait. Uncuff me?

SHAG
Yeah. Sure. Hold on --

Shag pulls out keys,
unlocks the cuffs on her wrists.

APRIL
Thanks.

He leans down, uncuffs her ankle.
She stands.

APRIL (CONT’D)
Double thanks. So what now?

SHAG
So she was just here?
(off April’s nod)
And she has the nuke?
(off her nod)
Why don’t we team up.
Two heads are better than one.

APRIL
Good idea. She’s really -- volatile.
What’s her deal?

SHAG
Do you have a few hours?

IN THE WINDOW
Wendon peers in. Pulls away.

OUTSIDE
She leans against the wall.
Raises her assault rifle.

WENDON
A two-fer. Nice --