Father Knows Best

Hey there, crime kids. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 33 of NOWHERE GIRL, we start our descent into the hair-raising conclusion of our story, when stripper Cherry Nation and Interpol agent April Street are held captive by evil criminal mastermind Slege Crafton, who reveals the shocking secret about their past, and then makes them an offer they can't refuse ...

INT. SLEDGE CRAFTON'S SECRET LAIR - INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT
The door behind them SLAMS shut with a BANG.

APRIL
I KNEW it.
(looks around)
CRAFTON. Show yourself!

The window shade SLIDES UP.
Behind it stands Crafton.

SLEDGE
Ladies.

APRIL
What’s the big idea?
You can’t keep us locked up in here.
People know where we are.

SLEDGE
I’m afraid not. They’re all dead.

APRIL
Then what do you want from us?

SLEDGE
That, my dear,
is the question of the hour.
Please have a seat.
I’ve got a story to tell you.

The girls sit.

SLEDGE
In the early eighties,
I was missing in action in Nicaragua --
and during this period of time
my CRAZY BITCH of a wife
put our lovely two daughters up for adoption --
after she ran off to the UK with a rock star.
(beat)
Those were heady times.
It was pre-AIDS, ecstacy was legal --

APRIL
What’s with the life story?
Get to the fucking POINT.

SLEDGE
The point?
You want me to GET TO THE POINT?
(beat)
Well, like I SAID --
my wife put our lovely young
daughters up for adoption.
Such a sad fate for two little
four-year-old girls.
How tragic would it be
if they were separated?

April and Cherry exchange glances.
What the fuck?

SLEDGE
You know the rest of the story --
because you’ve LIVED it.
(beat)
That’s right -- I’m your FATHER.
I scoured the globe for years
tracking you down.
Of course I was incredibly happy
to discover that my little April
had become an agent for Interpol.
That little apple didn’t fall
too far from the tree.
But, however, I was dismayed to discover
that my little Abby had changed
her name to CHERRY, and had become
a PORN STAR and then a STRIPPER.
To say I was disappointed
would be an understatement.
(beat)
Then I decided to find a way
in which I could get you two back together --
in my loving arms.
(beat)
This whole thing has been A TEST.
A MILITARY EXERCISE.
And you both passed --
with FLYING COLORS.
(to April)
I had a hunch -- and I was right --
that if you took Abby under your wing,
she’d grow some balls.

CHERRY
My name is CHERRY, not Abby.

APRIL
You fucking SLEPT with me,
you -- MONSTER.

SLEDGE
A momentary lapse, I’m afraid.
(beat)
You ARE the spitting image
of your mother.

April LEAPS up. SLAPS the window.

APRIL
What THE FUCK do you want from us?

SLEDGE
(strange smile)
What any father wants
from his darling daughters.
I’ve created a nice little empire, you know.
I’d like you to come work with me --
and live with me.
(beat)
Imagine the possibilities.
(low)
Come to Poppa.

April POUNDS on the window.
Cherry watches, in shock.

APRIL
You’re the most depraved
human being I’ve ever MET.
We wouldn’t work for you
if you were the last person ON EARTH.
(beat)
Daddy.

CHERRY
YEAH. So why don’t you go
FUCK YOURSELF and DIE.

Crafton shakes his head slowly.

SLEDGE
I was hopping you wouldn’t say that.
Can’t blame a guy for trying.

He takes out his cell.
Mumbles something. Hangs up.

SLEDGE
My heart -- is broken.

The window shade CLOSES.
Water starts GUSHING down
from a row of pipes in the ceiling.

CHERRY
What the fuck?

APRIL
Stand back!

April raises her Sig Sauer.
SHOOTS at the door.

The bullets FLY OFF
and RICOCHET around the room.

Cherry aims at the window.
SHOOTS a SPRAY OF BULLETS at it.

They, too BOUNCE of the glass
and RICOCHET.

The water swirls around,
now reaching up to their knees.

APRIL
The CEILING.
Let’s see if we can
blow a HOLE in it -- !