To Catch A Thief

Hey there, crime kids. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of NOWHERE GIRL, there's super-cool hijinx in store when 'stripper with a suitcase nuke' Cherry Nation and Silverlake hipster Peeler Mardo hike through the woods up in the Hollywood Hills in the rain in search of the Al Queda sleeper cell hiding out in a McMansion. Meanwhile, Homeland Security agent April Street commandeers a Vespa scooter to try and catch them, and CIA agent Shag Holiday gets Cherry's coordinates from silky op Lark Lemon ...


EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
The wind WHIPS through the trees.
BUCKETS of rain pour down.

Cherry leads Peeler through the woods.
They’re soaked.

They arrive at the rear of a huge back yard.
Push through the bushes --
and see the back of an enormous mansion.

CHERRY
We gotta find someplace
where we can dry out for a bit.
My arm is fucking killing me,
and my wrist feels like it’s gonna fall off.

PEELER
What about this place.
It’s got a pool house.

CHERRY
All the lights are out.
Bet they’re out of town.

PEELER
Let’s go.

He starts walking.
CRIES out in pain.

CHERRY
What’s WRONG?

PEELER
SHIT. I stepped on something.
Ow, FUCK.

Peeler lifts his boot.
A large, rusty nail protrudes.

CHERRY
C’mon, lean on me.
We’ll get that taken care of.

PEELER
(puts his arm around her waist)
Thanks.
(beat)
Don’t worry.
I’m way past wanting to
fuck anyone at this point.

CHERRY
Huh. That’s a shame.

And she leads a hobbling Peeler
toward the pool house.

EXT. QUEENS ROAD - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
Torrents of rain pour down on --

April, racing up the steep incline
going up into the hills.
She stops for a moment.
Catches her breath.

APRIL
Fucking -- CRAMP. FUCK.

She massages her leg.
Looks at a house.

A VESPA SCOOTER
is parked in front of the garage.

APRIL
There is a God.

April RACES up the driveway.
Goes to the scooter.

Opens up the engine manifold.
Finds, strips a pair of wires.
Touches them together. They SPARK.
The engine ROARS to life.

She hops on. REVS it.
And SPEEDS up the hill.

INT. DUMPSTER - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
Shag lies in the trash, motionless.
Pelted by the rain.

CLOSE ON --
His EAR. We see a communications device.
Red light BLINKING.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - CUBICLE - NIGHT
Lark taps a pencil on her desk.
Listening on her headset.

LARK
Shag? You there? Shag?
(beat)
Shit.
(listens)
SHAG?

SHAG
Opens his eyes.
Slowly, painfully sits up.

SHAG
Hey. You don’t have to yell.

LARK
Thank god. Are you alright?
What happened?

He opens his flack jacket.
We see three SMASHED BULLETS
in his kevlar vest.
He peels them off.

SHAG
Was intercepted -- by someone.
Woman. Had real moves.
Vest got a workout.
(shakes his head)
Wonder who she’s with.

LARK
What happened to her?

SHAG
She got away.
Must also be after the case.

Shag gets up, climbs out of the dumpster.

LARK
Well, you at least hurt her, right?

SHAG
Have no idea.
No time for chit-chat.
I need the new location.
She’s on the move.

Lark looks at her monitor.
Taps a few keys.

LARK
She’s about one-hundred yards away from you,
forty-five degrees, north by northwest.

SHAG
Like the Hitchcock movie.

LARK
After this is over, let’s go to Paris.
Catch a thief.

SHAG
(starts jogging)
And what, steal jewels?
Climb rooftops?

LARK
Ooh. You’re so Notorious.