Hey there, crime kids. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 18 of NOWHERE GIRL, the shit hits the fan when it starts raining, so Homeland Security agent April Street hijacks a taxi cab at gun-point. Meanwhile, 'stripper with a suitcase nuke' April Street and the gang get ambushed in the woods of the Hollywood Hills by assassin Wendon Swift, black ops spook Sledge Crafton's new hire, and blood IS spilled ...
EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT
A light RAIN starts falling.
April stands across the street from the Crazy Horse.
Watching the swarm of COPS, the ambulance.
A group of GAWKERS.
APRIL
Shit, it’s raining.
I need wheels, pronto.
A YELLOW CAB pulls up to the curb in front of her.
Two DRUNK PARTY GIRLS spill out.
APRIL
Ask and ye shall receive.
MESSY PARTY GIRL
(to the cabbie)
Keep the change!
WASTED PARTY GIRL
(tugs on Messy’s arm)
C’mon, let’s GO. It’s RAINING.
They skitter away down the sidewalk, laughing.
April goes to the cab.
Opens the passenger-side door.
Gets in.
INT. YELLOW CAB - CONTINUOUS
The CABBIE, Middle-Eastern,
sporting a turban and a giant mustache,
turns and looks at her, startled.
MIDDLE-EASTERN CABBIE
I’m soddy, meess, but eye’m on call.
I cannot pick yoo up.
April WHIPS OUT her ID and gun.
APRIL
Federal agent, Homeland Security.
Get in the back seat.
MIDDLE-EASTERN CABBIE
I WILL NOT. This is RACIAL PROFILING.
I am AMERICAN CITIZEN.
APRIL
This has nothing to do with you, Bollywood.
It’s a matter of national security.
GET IN THE BACK SEAT, NOW.
MIDDLE-EASTERN CABBIE
You cannot DO THIS. I know my RIGHTS.
April PISTOL-WHIPS him, CRACK.
He goes out like a light.
She GRABS him, THROWS him in the back seat.
Makes a face.
APRIL
Why does everybody I meet tonight fucking STINK?
INT. HUMMER - MOVING - NIGHT
A BRUNETTE (20’s) in shades and black leather
is behind the wheel. Hair back in a sleek ponytail.
Meet WENDON SWIFT, gorgeous, curvy killing machine.
And Sledge’s new hire.
WENDON
(on her cell)
I’m almost there.
(listens)
Not to worry. I always deliver.
(listens)
'Thirty minutes or less?'
You flirt. BAD boy.
INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Crafton hangs up. Raises his cocktail in a toast.
SLEDGE
I always deliver.
(beat)
I think I’m in love.
And he downs it.
EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS - RANCH HOUSE - BACK YARD - NIGHT
Brody leads Cherry, Peeler and Stan through the back yard.
They walk into a wooded area behind the house.
A light RAIN starts falling.
CHERRY
Great. Now it’s fucking RAINING.
She pulls her hoodie up over her head.
Her Blackberry VIBRATES in her pocket.
She pulls it out.
THE SCREEN READS
Reminder: Take your meds.
A finger presses a button.
The LCD reads ERASE.
BRODY
turns his head. Looks at Cherry.
BRODY
Can I ask you something?
CHERRY
What.
BRODY
If, let’s say,
somebody wanted to get into porn --
CHERRY
(looks at him)
YOU? Are you fucking kidding me?
BRODY
What. I’m not THAT bad-looking.
CHERRY
No, it’s just that --
BRODY
I’ve got eleven inches.
CHERRY
You DO?
PEELER
Wow. Shit.
STAN
What, you didn’t notice?
(off their stares)
So I’m gay. Big fucking deal.
It’s 2010. Deal with it.
GUNSHOTS SPRAY at them.
Stan GETS HIT in the chest.
Brody gets one in the leg.
So does Peeler.
Cherry’s arm is grazed.
They hit the ground.
Start crawling into the bushes.
BRODY
I’ve been SHOT.
Bullets WHIZ through the bushes.
Cherry gets behind a tree.
Pulls out her gun.
CHERRY
FUCK. I don’t see anyone.
(to Peeler)
Peeler, are you okay?
Peeler peers out behind a row of bushes.
PEELER
I got shot in the leg, but I’m okay.
But I think Stan is dead.
(sees her arm)
Cherry!
CHERRY
It’s okay. It just grazed me.
BRODY
My leg -- is fucking fucked.
He tries to get up into a crawling position.
CHERRY
STAY DOWN.
But he doesn’t listen. Sits up.
BRODY
I’m getting the fuck outta --
His head EXPLODES in a red mist.
PEELER
Ohmigod, we’re gonna DIE,
we’re gonna DIE!
CHERRY
STAY DOWN!
EXT. GARAGE ROOF - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
Wendon kneels on the tiles.
Cradling a sniperscope rifle.
She JAMS a new magazine in, KA-CHINK.
Takes aim. Sneers.
WENDON
Dick Cheney eat your fucking heart out.
I see April got herself another ride... amazing what a gun and a badge can do for you... So, if I had even just a badge... "Federal agent, Homeland Security"... I could always get a seat on MAX...
ReplyDeleteOMG!!! A female assassin!! This is gonna be fun... well... not for everybody, I guess... haha!
Raining? In SoCAL? What's that old song... "It Never Rains In Southern California"? :)
Elevewn inches... that's kinda big, isn't it... yeah... he could do porn... hey, I got big boobs... I could do porn! Yeah... I could just see Tina... I tell her I decided I want to do porn instead of teaching.. that would be the straw...
OMG!!! IT is raining... bullets!!! Poring bullets... geez... what's Wendon got.. a machine gun?
Lucky break for Brody... not getting lead poisoning that snake of his... oops! Spoke to soon.... splat!! Buulets flying... blood flowing...
Ahh... nice, Peeler! You big baby!! "we gonna die... we're gonna die..." Whiner! Grow a set! HAHAHA!!!
Okay... Cherry has got herself in a bit of a jam... Shag, buddy... now would be a good time for you to show up... just sayin, dude...
Damn!! Awesome scene, Carole!! I LOVE it!!!
XOXOXO <3