Flair For The Dramatic

Happy Tuesday, crime motherfuckers! It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side. A place where your hardboiled fantasies becomes depraved acts of violence, right here, at the coolest joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In today's chapter of NOWHERE GIRLS, as we continue the downward spiral toward the hair-raising conclusion of our story, agents April Street and Cherry Nation have cornered evil mastermind Honey Almond backstage at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood, and prepare to fight to the death ... their mother.


INT. KODAK THEATER - BACKSTAGE CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Honey RUNS down the corridor. Stops.
Sees the backstage area. Sees something.
Gets an idea. Marches over to the rear.

APRIL AND CHERRY
Get to the backstage door.
See it’s open. Go in.

BACKSTAGE
Honey walks over to a circuit breaker.
FLICKS it off.

The area is plunged into DARKNESS

APRIL AND CHERRY
Walk down the backstage corridor.
The lights GO OFF.

APRIL
That’s her --

CHERRY
She’s close by.

APRIL
Backstage. She’s backstage.

CHERRY
How do you know that?

APRIL
Can you say 'flair for the dramatic?'

BACKSTAGE
Honey dashes over to a spiral staircase
in a dark corner. Starts climbing up.
Her boots CLICK-CLICK on the metal steps.

APRIL AND CHERRY
Enter the wings.
Walk carefully in the darkness.
April stops.

APRIL
You hear that?

CHERRY
Hear what?

APRIL
Shhh. Listen --

Click-click-click-click.

CHERRY
Footsteps.
(looks)
Up above --

APRIL
(looks, sees, points)
Over there. The spiral staircase.

They both WHIP OUT their guns.
Take aim.

CHERRY
Honey Almond, come down NOW
with your HANDS UP,
or we’ll commence FIRING.

HONEY
Stops. Looks down. Smiles.
Pulls out twin guns. Takes aim.

HONEY
Is that any way to speak to your MOTHER?

And she FIRES at them.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

APRIL AND CHERRY
Duck. Bullets PING on the floor around them.
They return FIRE wildly in the direction of the shots.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

Silence.

HONEY
RACES up the steps.

APRIL AND CHERRY
Look up.

APRIL
Can’t see a thing.

CHERRY
(sees something)
Hey. I’ve got an idea.
(points)
You go up the stairs and follow her,
and I’ll go up on that
and head her off on the other side --

ANGLE ON --
A small PLATFORM ELEVATOR on wheels.

APRIL
What is it?

CHERRY
It goes up, for hanging the lights --
(off her stare)
I did summer stock theater.

APRIL
Okay. Let’s do it.

April DASHES over to the stairs.
Starts climbing up.
Cherry races over to
the mini-elevator, jumps on.

Grabs the control box.
Flips a switch --
and the platform starts rising.

UP IN THE RAFTERS
Honey walks on the runway,
hands on the railing.

APRIL
Gets to the top of the stairs.
Starts looking for Honey.

CHERRY’S
Platform reaches the top. Stops.
She carefully climbs off,
steps onto the runway at the other end.
Clicks her walkie.

CHERRY
(into the walkie)
I’m on the other side.

APRIL
(into hers)
So am I. Ready when you are --

CHERRY
Honey Almond,
we’ve got you SURROUNDED.

APRIL
Throw your gun down
so we can take you in peacefully.

Honey looks the shadows.
Sees April at one end.
Cherry at the other.

Sighs. Looks down. Shakes her head.

HONEY
We could have had so much fun.
Complete world domination.
A real family-run organization.
(beat)
But NO. You REJECTED me.
Your own MOTHER.

CHERRY
You don’t deserve to be called a MOTHER.
You’re a MONSTER.
You kidnapped my CHILDREN.

HONEY
Well, if you’re going to nitpick --