Don't Ask, Don't Smell

Happy Thursday, crime busters! Are you ready for another hardboiled, pulse-pounding slice of utter mayhem and violence? Then you've come to the right place, where the chicks are hot, and the action hotter, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In today's final chapter of NOWHERE GIRLS, after Homeland Security agents April Street and Cherry Nation have killed evil mastermind Honey Almond in a big shootout at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood, they get a phone call from The President ...


EXT. KODAK THEATER - FRONT ENTRANCE - NIGHT
Cherry and April walk out the front door.
See a SWARM of FBI agents. COPS. MEDIA.
A crowd of ONLOOKERS behind barricades.

Sunday and Max approach them with the girls.
Aura and Amber break free and RUN into Cherry’s arms.

CHERRY
My little angels --
(beat)
Was the FBI lady nice to you?

AURA
Yeah. She only said the F-word once.

SUNDAY
(turns red)
Sorry about that.
I’m -- not around kids that much.

MAX
(to April and Cherry)
Honey’s dead?

APRIL
Doornail-city.
You can send in the clean-up crew.

SUNDAY
You two should be proud.

CHERRY
Yeah, well -- it’ll be nice to go out with a bang.

MAX
Sorry?

APRIL
She wants to quit the agency.
Maybe you can help me talk her out of it.

CHERRY
There’s NOTHING anybody can say
that’s gonna change my mind.

Sunday’s phone RINGS. She answers it.

SUNDAY
Sparks here --

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - CLINT RUFF’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Clint stands, holding his cell phone. Looks out the window.

CLINT
Just got the news. Good job, Sparks.

SUNDAY
Thanks, chief.
(grins)
Oh, and by the way --
your secret’s safe with me.

CLINT
What -- secret?

SUNDAY
Your extracurricular activities?
No wonder the marriage didn’t work out.
(off his silence)
We’ve been uploading all her files.

CLINT
God-DAMMIT --

SUNDAY
Don’t worry.
I still believe in don’t ask, don’t smell.
IF I get a promotion.

CLINT
Consider it done --
(realizes)
Oh, shit.
I’ve got the President on the line.
He wants to speak to Street and Nation.

SUNDAY
Hold on. I’ll get them.

She cups the phone.
Looks at April and Cherry.

SUNDAY
I’ve got someone that wants to speak to you.

APRIL
Can you take a message?
We’re kinda wiped out from saving the free world.

SUNDAY
(shrugs, into the phone)
I’m sorry, Mr. President, but they’re tied up at the --

CHERRY
THE PRESIDENT? Gimmee that --
(GRABS the phone from Sunday)
Hello, Mr. President?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
The President lies in bed in his bathrobe.
CNN is on with the sound off.
THE FIRST LADY is next to him, fast asleep.

THE PRESIDENT
Ms. Nation? Or is this Ms. Street?

CHERRY
Cherry Nation, Mr. President.

THE PRESIDENT
Please. Call me Buck.

CHERRY
Okay, Buck --

BUCK
Can you put your sister on the phone, too?

CHERRY
Uh, yeah -- sure.
(to Cherry)
He wants to talk to you, too.

April nods. Comes over.
Puts her ear next to Cherry’s.

CHERRY
She’s here --

APRIL
Hey.

BUCK
I’d like to thank you two
for taking care of the threat
against the security of the White House --
(beat)
And I’m going to give you
The Congressional Medal of Honor.

APRIL
Really?

CHERRY
Holy SHIT. I mean -- thank you.
(beat)
Sorry --

BUCK
(laughs)
My office will call you back
and make the arrangements, okay?

CHERRY
Yes, sir, Mr. -- Buck.

BUCK
Thank you again. Have a good night.

CHERRY
Yes, sir. Thank you. Bye.

She hangs up. In awe.
Hands the phone back to Sunday.

CHERRY
They’re gonna give us
The Congressional Medal Of Honor --

APRIL
Still want to quit?

AMBER
Mommy, you CAN’T quit.
Nobody likes a QUITTER.

AURA
We need you to keep the world SAFE.

APRIL
From the mouths of babes --

Pause.

CHERRY
Alright, okay. You guys win. HAPPY NOW?
(to April)
But I’m taking A LOT of time off. Got it?

APRIL
Got it.

CHERRY
A month, at least.

APRIL
Take two --

CHERRY
You know what, I just might --
(thinks)
And I need some counseling.
I mean, we just killed our MOTHER.
That’s intense shit.
Does our medical cover that?
(off her nod)
And another thing.
I REALLY need to get laid --

Their voices fade as they continue sparring, as we --

FADE TO BLACK