Your Vice Is My Command

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 32 of BLUE HOTEL, Alona returns to her hotel room with the hacksaw, where she, Holly and Beggar agree to take turns cutting up the dead bodies. Then Beggar remembers he's got uncut ecstasy in his car, and goes down to get it. Meanwhile, homicide detectives Bernie and Danette check into a nearby room to start staking out the joint ...


INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Alona comes in the room.
Quietly shuts the door.

Looks at Beggar and Holly
sitting on the couch, sharing a joint.
Holds up the hack saw.

ALONA
Ta-daaa --

BEGGAR
Look at the size of THAT.
Good job, babe.

ALONA
Thanks, but I’ve got some bad news.
Gill fell off the roof,
or he jumped, I don’t know --
but he’s dead in the alley,
and now the joint’s swarming with cops.

BEGGAR
Fuck.

HOLLY
Holy shit.

ALONA
Tell me about it.
(beat)
So we gotta take care of
Oscar and Lief, fast.
I say we take turns.
Who wants to go first?

They both stare at her.

HOLLY
How about Beggar?
He’s a GUY.

BEGGAR
How about Holly?
She’s the KILLER.

HOLLY
Shut up.

ALONA
(sighs)
Okay, okay -- I’ll go first.
(beat)
Gimmee a hit of that joint.
I’m gonna have to be REALLY
fucking buzzed to start
cutting up a dead body.

BEGGAR
Wait a minute.
I just remembered something.
I’ve got uncut ecstacy in the car.
THAT can make the job go MUCH better.

HOLLY
Uncut? But I thought it came in a pill.

BEGGAR
The pills are bullshit,
there’s all kinds of
other shit in them.
Back in the day,
you bought E by the gram,
pure powder, baby. Snort it,
lick it, pour some in your cocktail --
(wistful)
Those were the days.
Couldn’t believe I could still find it.

ALONA
How much do you have?

BEGGAR
Ten grams.

ALONA
So go down and get it.

BEGGAR
Your vice is my command.

He gets up.
Goes to the door.

ALONA
Be careful.
There’s cops all over the place.

BEGGAR
Don’t worry.
I’m just your average tourist insomniac,
going out to the car for a pack of smokes.

PUSH IN ON Alona’s face. Amused.

ALONA
If you’re an average tourist,
then I’m Taylor Swift.

INT. HOTEL STARLIGHT - FRONT DESK - AT THAT MOMENT
Bunky looks at Bernie and Danette,
standing at the counter.

BUNKY
Sorry, we’re all full up.
(brightens)
Wait, I forgot --
you can take the jumper’s room.
It’s empty now.

BERNIE
We’ll take it.

BUNKY
So you’re doin’ a stakeout?

DANETTE
Yeah.

BUNKY
Hot dog.
Is there something I can do to help?

BERNIE
Yeah. Call us if you see anyone suspicious.
(hands him his card)
My cell phone number.

DANETTE
Or if you see that girl, Holly.

BUNKY
You got it. Good luck.

They nod. Start up the stairs.
Bunky watches them go.

BUNKY (CONT’D)
Sugar magnolia, blossoms bloomin’ --
a real stakeout,
right here at the Starlight.
(beat)
Why do I have this funny feeling
them two are gonna bone?