Stimulous Package

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapteer 17 of BLUE HOTEL, school teacher Gill Sherry goes to the ATM machine to get money to help pay for the removal of the dead body in hipster hooker Alona Tal's hotel room, and runs into a vicious mugger. Meanwhile, goth gangsters Vlad and Anya, the 'dead body removers' make a stop on the way to Alona's at a private dungeon for a little 'R&R' ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH - NIGHT
A circular street two blocks from the boardwalk.
A cream-colored Saab pulls in front of the bank
across the street from the Venice post office.

INT. SAAB - CONTINUOUS
Gill is behind the wheel.
He shuts off the engine. Gets out.

AT THE CASH MACHINE
Gill slips his card in.
Punches his pin code.

The machine CHING-CHING-CHINGS,
and his cash slides out. He grabs it.
Then feels something in his back.

GRAVELLY MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Hand over the cash, asshole --
or I’ll fucking shoot.

GILL
Okay, okay -- please don’t hurt me.

He holds up the money.
A FIGURE IN BLACK (20’s),
hoodie pulled down,
SNATCHES it from his hand.

FIGURE IN BLACK
Now gimmee your keys.
Nice ride you got there --

GILL
Please, not my car. I need that to --

Figure In Black CRACKS
him in the head with his gun.

Gill goes down, THUMP.
Figure KICKS him in the stomach.

GILL (CONT’D)
OW!

FIGURE IN BLACK
Your KEYS, NOW --

Gill winces in pain.
Digs his keys out of his pocket.

Holds them up.
Figure SNATCHES THEM.
RUNS to the car.

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Ohmigod, that guy just got MUGGED!

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
And they’re stealing his CAR!

Figure JUMPS IN. Starts the engine.
ROARS away in a SCREECH of rubber
like a madman from hell.

A YOUNG COUPLE (17) RACE OVER to Gill.
Trendy skateboard kids with multi-colored hair,
piercings in baggies and sneakers.

SKATEBOARD CHICK
Hey, mister -- are you okay?

HIPSTER GUY
(pulls out his cell phone)
Don’t worry, I’m calling the cops.

Skateboard Chick helps Gill stand up.
He holds his stomach.
Hipster punches 911. Listens.

GILL
My car -- he got my CAR --

HIPSTER GUY
Yeah, hi -- so listen, a dude was mugged,
and they, like, stole his car --
(listens)
On the Windward circle.
In front of the bank --
(listens, looks at Gill)
He looks okay to me --
(to Gill)
You okay?

PUSH IN ON Gill’s face.
More than upset.

GILL
Oh, I’m just peachy.
Top of the world, ma.

INT. CLUB FETISH - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
Nasty, filthy club music over --

A catacomb of perverted horrors run amok.
A labyrinthine maze of cubicles,
each containing unspeakable acts of depravity.

IN ONE STALL
A MAN (50’s) lies in a bathtub, naked.

A group of CLUB PATRONS
stand in a circle and pee on him.

IN ANOTHER STALL
A WOMAN (20’s) lies on a table.
Bound and gagged.

A GIANT DOM raise a cat ‘o nine tails,
CRACKS IT against her pale flesh.

IN THE DJ BOOTH
The DJ (30’s), hair scooped into red devil horns,
nods to the music, SNORTS a fat line of meth.

IN ANOTHER STALL
A MAN IN A DIAPER, on his hands and knees,
licks the boots of a GORGEOUS DOMINATRIX (40’s).
She JERKS his leash. Laughing.

VLAD AND ANYA
Stroll through the Dionysian splendor like gods.
Regal. Inspecting the display of twisted desires.

ANYA
It is, how they say in New York, ‘bridge and tunnel.’

VLAD
Well, we ARE behind Orange Curtain.

They chuckle. Stop.
Watch the GIANT DOM at work.

ANYA
(shaking her head)
No finesse. No -- style.
Is like Gitmo. No imagination.

VLAD
That may be -- but Little Miss Muffet
will get welt on her tuffet,
and she will go home to safe suburban hell
with naughty memory --

They continue walking.

ANYA
I see your point.
Is like MacDonald’s of dungeons.

Vlad stops. Puts one hand on Anya’s breast.
The other on her throat.

Pushes her up against the wall.
Smiles, evil.

Anya swoons with pleasure.
Licks her lips. Eyes flashing.

VLAD
Enough of field trip.
You ready to rock n’ rolla, my dark goddess?

ANYA
Take me to cash machine, bab-ya.

She pulls out her gun.
Rubs it on his crotch.

He pulls out his.
Sticks it in her mouth.

VLAD
Is what I love about you.
(beat)
What I call -- 'stimulus package.'