Love, Croatian Style

It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 30 of FULL BODY, we return to The International, DC's most exclusive 'gentleman's spa,' where Croatian crime boss/club owner Yuri Vlaovic has his final showdown with his ex-wife Mavra, back from the dead ... and stuck in the middle is their darling daughter, Etya ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - OFFICE - NIGHT
Thievery Corporation’s ominous dub-drenched
swirling remix of The Doors’ STRANGE DAYS over --

A stand-off.
Etya, gun at Silke.
Silke, gun at Etya.

Yuri, weapons on both.

'Love, Croatian style.'

YURI
Unhand my daughter.

MAVRA
(arms around Etya)
She’s my daughter, too.

ETYA
Is okay, Poppa.
Don’t shoot.
She not want to harm us.

SILKE
What the fuck is this?
The Family feud?

Husband and wife look at each other strangely.
The music RISES.

MAVRA
Been a long time -- Yuri.

YURI
Since -- funeral.

MAVRA
Was good turn-out --

YURI
Why are you here -- now?

MAVRA
I’ve come for my daughter.

YURI
Over my dead body.

SILKE
That can be arranged.

MAVRA
Silke, stay out of this.

SILKE
Oh, yeah?

YURI
You heard the woman,
stay out of this.

SILKE
(points gun at YURI)
But she’s mine.
(to Mavra)
You’re MINE.

Yuri SHOOTS Silke in the chest.
BANG! BANG! BANG!

YURI
I told you to SHUT UP! Idiot.
She doesn’t BELONG to anyone.
She is free spirit.
Beautiful, brilliant
independent businesswoman.

He looks at Mavra shyly.
A glimmer of a smile.

MAVRA
Yuri?

ETYA
Poppa?

MAVRA
You mean all of that?

A BULGE slowly rises in Yuri’s trousers.

YURI
I’ve been -- doing some reading.

MAVRA
Yuri. Is miracle.
You have -- woody.

YURI
(with wonder)
I have -- fucking hard-on.

He RACES to her. They embrace.
ATTACK each other like animals.
Yuri SWEEPS off the desk with his arm.
Turns --

YURI
(to Etya)
Get rid of body, give us some --
(looks at Mavra)
Privacy.

He lays her down on the desk.
Straddles her.

YURI
(to Etya)
Now!

ETYA
(in shock)
Yes, Poppa.

She goes to Silke’s limp body,
starts dragging him away.

MAVRA
(to Yuri, in Croatian, with subtitles)
Come to me, my Dalmatian doggie.

YURI
(in Croatian, subtitles)
My little pussycat. Meooow --

And they go at it. Brutal.
Tender. Like never before.