The Universal Language Of Stoned

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of EXIT, while waiting for dirty cop Vin Vargas to return with the food, the hostage situation takes a left turn when dead drug dealer Mickey Mertz's business partner Harry Dill arrives on the scene after being raided by the DEA ...


INT. THE EXIT ROOM - EARLY MORNING
The buzzer RINGS. Everyone looks.

DANNY
Too soon to be Vin --
(to Mia)
Go see who it is.
Tell ‘em we’re closed.
If it’s a cop, stall him.
If it’s the loan shark guys,
tell ‘em Angel’s gone.

Mia nods. Gets up.
Walks over to the door.
Danny follows her.

MIA
Sorry. We’re closed.

EXCITED MALE VOICE (O.C.)
I’m looking for Mickey.
I know he’s here.

Angel breathes a sigh of relief.

MIA
I said WE’RE CLOSED.

EXCITED MALE VOICE (O.C.)
C’mon, man. I know he’s here.
Let me in. It’s an emergency.

MIA
He’s not here. He left.

EXCITED MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Oh, yeah?
Then why’s his car still here?
If you don’t let me in,
I’m gonna call the cops.

DANNY
(to Mia)
Step aside.

She does.
Danny unlocks the door.

YANKS it open.
Aims his sawed-off at Excited Male Voice.

DANNY
Shut the fuck up and get your ass in here.

In walks HARRY DILL (60’s),
dishevelled, with shaggy hair and a beard.

Natty in flip flops, board shorts
and a ratty tie-dyed t-shirt
that makes The Dude look sophisticated.

DANNY
Go over there and sit with the others.

HARRY
(stares at the gun)
I can dig it. Tight security.
Chill. I’m cool. I’m cool.
(looks at the others)
Where’s Mickey?
(sees Angel’s stump)
Whoah. Dude’s missing an arm.
Now this is a fucking party.

DANNY
Go sit down and shut the fuck up.

HARRY
So where’s Mickey? In the head?

DANNY
Mickey’s dead. SIT.

HARRY
He’s DEAD? Wh-what h-happened?

Danny PUNCHES him in the stomach.
Harry doubles over.

HARRY (CONT’D)
Dude. That fucking HURT.
Why’d you have to do that?

DANNY
Cause I told you to SIT DOWN
and SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Harry nods. Takes a seat.

HARRY
Alright, okay. Jeez.

DANNY
Why do you want to see him?
What the fuck was so important?

HARRY
We got raided by the Feds.
All of our inventory was seized.
I barely escaped and
I was coming to warn him.
Didn’t answer his cell
so I knew something was up --
(looks at Danny’s gun)
But not something like this.
Did you rob a bank or something?

DANNY
Why does everybody think
we robbed a fucking BANK?
(beat)
How did you know he was coming here?

HARRY
He told me.
We’re business partners.
I procure the inventory
and he distributes it.
Some cat who works here
is a customer.
(beat)
Dude.
My heart’s beating a mile a minute.
Okay if I smoke out?

DANNY
‘Smoke out?’

HARRY
You know, weed.
You can have some, too.
Chill you right out.

DANNY
That’s actually not a bad idea.

HARRY
Right on.

He pulls a joint out of his pocket.
LIGHTS IT with a click of his Zippo.
Takes a big hit.

Hands it to Danny.
He takes a toke.
Holds it in. Nods. EXHALES.

DANNY
(hands it back)
That’s good shit.

HARRY
Oh, yeah.
White Widow sativa from Humbolt.
None of that hydroponic bullshit.
I mean, sure it gives you a great high,
but then it’s gone an hour later.
This shit’ll give you a body-shizzle
that’ll last all night.
(stares at Bettie)
Sugar Magnolia, blossoms blooming.
I’m in the presence of the Dark Goddess.

BETTIE
(smiles)
That’s me. Can I get a hit?

DANNY
It would be an honor.
Weed is the universal language of stoned.

He passes it to her.
She takes a ginormous hit.
Holds it in.

HARRY
(low, to himself)
Mickey’s dead.
Who am I gonna get to move my product?
(looks at Danny)
Can I -- ask what happened?

DANNY
My partner shot him because
he thought he was hitting on him.

HARRY
Pulp Fiction, ahoy.
(beat)
Your partner?
So you’re gay, too?

DANNY
NO. My --
(raises his gun)
Partner.

HARRY
Oh. Gotcha. Right on.
(looks at the group)
Which one is he -- or she?

DANNY
He’s not here.
He went out to get some food.

HARRY
A hostage situation with snacks.
Far out.
(realizes)
So -- you’re not gonna let me go.

DANNY
Now you’re catching on.

HARRY
Guess it’s safer here
than back at my place.
Joint’s crawling with DEA.

DANNY
Sounds like it’s your lucky night.

HARRY
Hey. If you’re given lemons --
(brightens)
Can we have some tunage?

DANNY
You mean -- music?

HARRY
Soothes the savage beast.
This IS a club, bro.

CASEY
(to Danny)
Great idea.
We get high, listen to some music,
then have something to eat
when Vin gets back.
You’ll be relaxed and refreshed
for when you make your escape.

Pause.

DANNY
Okay. But no dancing --