A Town Without Pity

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Today we're gonna dig deep into the archives and present to you the first story in the Carrie Love trilogy, DAZED, BEAUTIFUL & BRUISED, in which Carrie is still a homicide detective (before she gets kicked off the force in the second story). It's an action-packed thrill ride in which she and her partner (and ex-husband) Bernie Keko are hot on the trail of Sparkle Plenty, an underaged beauty pageant winner ... who also happens to be a serial killer.

In Chapter 1, homicide detective Carrie Love introduces our story ... and then we meet incest survivor/beauty queen teen Sparkle Plenty, who has a dastardly plan to escape from her trailer trash parents ...


EXT. MULHOLLAND DRIVE - SCENIC VIEW - NIGHT
A swanky, deliriously kinky go-go groove --
My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult’s
THE INTERNATIONAL SIN SET.

The glittering panorama of the
San Fernando Valley twinkles below.

A big, silvery moon
shines o’er the tackiness.

CARRIE LOVE (V.O.)
New York, New York --
the city so nice,
they named it twice.
The city that never sleeps.
But in Los Angeles,
people are in bed by nine.
And they only named it once.
Enough said?

A beat-up old PICKUP TRUCK
filled with MEXICAN GARDENERS comes
TEARING BY in a CRUNCH of gravel.

CARRIE LOVE (V.O.)
Actually, the full name is
'El Pueblo de La Neustra Senora,
Reina de Los Angeles.
'The City of our Lady,
Queen of the Angels.'
No wonder they shortened it.
Ever take a close look at this
never-bustling metropolis?
Not exactly pure and chaste, huh.

A HUMVEE
comes into view.
The absurd vehicle slows, parks.

IN THE CAR
an ARROGANT HIPSTER (25)
and his GEN-Z GIRLFRIEND (21),
a whisper-thin young hottie
start making out.

CARRIE LOVE (V.O.)
Like the song says,
it’s a town without pity.
But that doesn’t stop the
millions of boys and girls
that come here with stars in their eyes.
Almost none of them make it, of course --
but that doesn’t stop them;
those eager, fresh-scrubbed teeming masses
from the hinterlands with
visions of celebrity
dancing in their empty heads.

The couple starts getting hot and heavy.
Hands go to private places.

HOTTIE GIRLFRIEND
No, I told you -- NO!

ARROGANT HIPSTER
C’mon, Tifney --
I promise I’ll respect you and shit.

HOTTIE GIRLFRIEND
You expect me to jerk your stick
like some kinda sleazy cooze?

ARROGANT HIPSTER
Hey. I don’t get a happy ending --
you don’t get a happy ending.

Pause.

CARRIE LOVE (V.O.)
But our story starts far away
from this airbrushed mecca
of cigar-smoking goateed posers
and collagen-impaired faux-fatales --
in a tiny little berg
on the wrong side of the tracks.
(beat)
Except there’s no tracks,
and the one-mile stretch of trailer homes
makes a good case for selective breeding.

A pistol CLICK-CLICKS.
The girl SCREAMS --
and gunshots POP-POP-POP.

CARRIE LOVE (V.O.)
Or maybe just a little ethnic cleansing.

INT. WHITE TRASH TRAILER - NIGHT
ROSCOE PLENTY, (40) a strange-looking nerd,
watches a shitty little black and white TV,
swills a bottle of cheap beer.

ROSCOE
(to someone off-screen)
C’mon honey,
you’re missing the big number.

ON TV
in glorious Technicolor,
SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS.

A chorus line of grinning,
super-masculine Hollywood cowboys.

SEVEN BROTHERS (ON TV)
(singing)
Bless your beoootiful hide --

INT. FILTHY KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
DOT PLENTY (33), Roscoe’s repulsive wife
eats dog food out of the can.

Sips her jelly-jar zinfandel.
Belly-T reveals folds of pale cottage-cheese.
‘Fat’ would be a compliment.

DOT
(sucking her fingers)
Fucking musicals.
(to him, loud)
I’m gonna go check on Sparkle,
make sure she’s all clean!

IN THE LIVING ROOM
the drunk is riveted to the movie,
drinks his longneck.

INT. TRAILER BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
A steaming shower runs.

A FEMALE FORM behind the glass --
sings off-key some weird disco hit.

IN THE HALLWAY
the happy molester squeezes by,
reaches the door. Smiles.

IN THE BATHROOM
the door opens.
In creeps lover-mom.

DOT
(throaty)
Does little Sparkle-ette
need help cleaning those --
hard-to-reach places?

EXT. TRAILER - CONTINUOUS
Steam drifts out the bathroom window.
A knapsack FLIES OUT.

Out pops SPARKLE PLENTY (16),
teased-hair K-Mart adorable.

Picture-pretty face.
What you call a ‘spinner.’

She JUMPS, lands on the ground.
Then runs, giggling.

IN THE BATHROOM
Coquettish, Dot opens the shower door --

DOT
Mmmmmm -- do I smell Soft Soap?

To reveal it’s empty.

A TAPE RECORDER
sits on the toilet.
The source of the singing.

A WINDOW SHADE
flaps against the open window.

IN THE LIVING ROOM
Roscoe sings along,
having the time of his life. BURP.

IN THE BATHROOM

DOT
Roscoe, Sparkle escaped! Again!

EXT. HILLSIDE - CONTINUOUS
Sparkle looks down on her nest from hell.
Holds a remote trigger box in dainty hands.

SPARKLE
(punches a button)
Hasta la vista, incestual units --

THE TRAILER
EXPLODES in a massive fireball.

SPARKLE (O.S.)
Cause this chick’s going to Hollywood.