She Blinded Me With Science

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of BLUE HOTEL, private school teacher Gill Sherry returns home from his tryst with hipster hooker Alona Tal, where his wife Donna is more than a little suspicious. Meanwhile, Alona and boozy screenwriter Holly Land roll up the dead agent's body in a shower curtain 'to prepare him for shipping' ...


EXT. SANTA MONICA SIDE STREET - NIGHT
The moon glows like ghostly spectre
through dark velvet clouds.
Not a star in the sky.

A leafy avenue a few blocks from Main Street.
Not the cheap seats, but close.
But still only ten blocks from the ocean.

A late-model Volvo comes tooling down the street.
Turns into -

EXT. SUBURBAN BUNGALOW - NIGHT
A small, neat bungalow with a manicured lawn.
And yes, with a white picket fence.

The kinda joint I’ll be able to buy
when I sell this screenplay.

The car pulls into the driveway.
Stops. Gill gets out.

Weaves up the sidewalk
into the front door of the house.

INT. GILL’S BUNGALOW - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
A small, neat room with the typical
funky decor of a liberal teacher.
Rows of books on shelves. African art.

Right now, in shadows.
Gill walks into the room.
Puts his briefcase down.

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Student conferences run late?

The light SNAPS ON.

In the entranceway stands DONNA (40’s),
Gill’s wife.

Still attractive, but looks weary.
Worried. Alabaster skin. No makeup.
Could be a cougar, if she tried.

GILL
Hey, hon.
(yawns)
Yeah. Then I had a
couple of beers with Brub.

She walks up to him.
Puts her arms around him.
He tenses.

DONNA
'A couple of beers?'
You reek of booze --

GILL
Yeah, well --
we had a couple of shots.
He needed to talk.
Guy stuff, you know.
How was your day?

DONNA
The usual.
Another exciting day
in the chem lab.

GILL
(faint smile)
She blinded me with science --

DONNA
There’s Thai food in the fridge.
I could nuke some for you --

GILL
(pulls away from her)
Thanks, but I’m beat.
I’m gonna hit the sack.
Gonna go jump in the shower.
See you upstairs.

DONNA
(faint smile)
Be there in a sec.

He nods. Turns, and walks away
into the rear of the house.

PUSH IN ON Donna’s face.
Watching him suspiciously.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
The dead agent’s been turned over on his stomach.
We can see the scissor handles sticking out of his back.

Alona mops up the blood with a towel.
Holly sits on the bed, staring.
Holding the bottle.

ALONA
God, this is disgusting.
It’s all I can do not to puke --

She tosses the towel into a plastic bucket.
Now filled with bloody towels.
She looks at Holly.

ALONA
Can I get a hit of that?

Holly holds it up-side down. Empty.

HOLLY
All gone. Sorry --

ALONA
Shit.
(thinks)
I’ve got some weed.
We’ll smoke one when we’re done.
Let’s wrap him up, okay?

HOLLY
Okay. Be right back --

She slides off the bed.
Puts the bottle down.
Pads into --

THE BATHROOM
Where she RIPS the shower curtain off its rings.
She stops. Looks at her reflection in the mirror.
Haunted. Scared.

HOLLY
Mirror, mirror, on the wall --
(hiccups)
Who’s the most fucked-up of all?

IN THE BEDROOM
Holly drags the curtain behind her.
Walks over to Alona and the body.
Places it down on the floor.

ALONA
Some fucked-up picnic, huh?

HOLLY
How can you make jokes at a time like this?
Aren’t you -- scared? I am --

ALONA
Watching daddy beat mommy as a little girl
gives a gal a strange sense of humor.

HOLLY
Ohmigod, I’m sorry.
That must have been -- horrible.

ALONA
It was long time ago, baby.
C’mon, let’s roll up Oscar.
Get him ready for shipping.

HOLLY
That was -- his name?

Alona nods. Goes over to the body.
Starts rolling him onto the shower curtain.
Singing softly.

ALONA
My baloney has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R --
(looks at Holly)
Could you give me a hand? Fucker’s heavy.
(beat)
Dead weight --

She BURSTS into insane laughter.
Holly stares. Shakes her head.

Gets on her knees next to her.
They roll him onto the edge of the curtain.
Alona grabs the edge.

ALONA
Okay, now -- like a fruit roll-up,
let’s wrap ‘em up.

They hold the curtain against his side,
and start rolling him up
like some kind of ungodly burrito.

He goes over and over,
making a sickening THUMP each time.
They finish. Exhausted.

Holly goes to the bed. Sits.
Puts her head in her hands.

HOLLY
I’m going to hell for this --

Alona sits next to her.
Cradles her in her arms.

ALONA
Honey, didn’t you know?
(beat)
We’re already there --