Faster, Pussycat

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of GUN-WILD, trigger-happy runaway trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and the gang of bank robbers get high and party in the getaway RV ... but the hijinx soon turn sexual ... and kinky ... when Cam pulls out her gun and asks Rod 'play a game' with her ...


INT. WINNEBAGO - AT THAT MOMENT
Psycho-rockabilly AT FULL VOLUME:
Horropops’ THELMA & LOUISE.

Rod and Hondo sit on the couch,
high as fucking kites.

Cam and Net do a frenzied go-go dance
on the coffee table.

Net’s topless,
shaking with abandon,
gun in hand.

NET
(sings)
Just like, Thelma and Loooo-uise --

Cam takes a swig
from a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Reaches around,
UNSNAPS her halter top.
It FLIES OFF.

She SHAKES HER BOOBS
in time with Net.

CAM
Faster, pussycat!

HONDO
BOOBAGE! Shake it, sunset girl!

Net sees. Smiles.
GRABS Cam’s boobs
with both hands.

NET
HONK-HONK!

CAM
HEY!

She SLAPS Net’s hands away.

NET
Oooh, touchy --

HONDO
Touchy-FEELY.

ROD
(stands)
Hey, baby -- wanna dance?

He goes to Cam.
Takes her hand.

She JUMPS off the table.
Dances like a maniac.
Shakes her boobs in his face.

Hondo comes up behind Rod.
GRABS his ass with both hands.

Rod WHIRLS AROUND --
and SLAPS him in the face.

ROD
BACK OFF.

HONDO
(rubs his cheek, smiles)
Dude. Why so uptight?
Just fuckin’ with ya.

ROD
The only FUCKING I do
is with CHICKS -- GOT IT?

HONDO
(raises his hands)
Chill, bro -- chill.

Hondo goes to Net,
still dancing on the table,
eyes closed, blissed out.

GRABS her hand,
PULLS her down with a YANK --
bare feet SLAP the floor.

NET
OW!

Hondo picks her up.

HONDO
C’mon, hot stuff --
private party.
(looks at Rod)
No prudes allowed.
(laughs)
Pussy to go --

And he carries her off
to the back bedroom,
Net SQUEALING.

Rod watches them.
Turns to Cam.
Puts his arms around her.

CAM
What are you -- doing?

ROD
Give you any ideas?

Cam pulls out her gun.
Aims it at his crotch.

CAM
Let’s go upstairs --
play a game.

ROD
(pushes it away)
Whoah. Careful.
That’s the family jewels.

Cam smiles.
Rubs the gun
against her crotch.

CAM
Maybe this is better.
Longer. Stiffer.
(meaningfully)
Never shoots blanks.

ROD
Kinky girl.
So that’s the way
you want to play it?

Cam leers.
Holds the gun barrel
against her lips.
Licks it.

CAM
Let’s go upstairs
and find out.
(beat)
And bring the money --