Up Close And Personal

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Now that we're done with one of my detours into horror, we now once again return to the scene of the crime. I'm pleased to present a Carrie Love crime story that many of you might be unfamiliar with, as it's not part of the trilogy previously posted here. LITTLE GIRL BLUE is Carrie's 'Christmas story.' But don't let that fool you. There's still plenty of hardboiled hijinx in store for you, my dear reader.

So let's go now to Beverly Hills, California. It's Christmas Eve, and young Blue Wonder is about enter an 'amateur night' contest at the Fantasy Island gentleman's club ... where who does she meet at the bar, but our intrepid private eye, Carrie Love. 'Deck the halls,' indeed ...


EXT. STRIP CLUB - NIGHT
The gut-kicking metal PUNCH
of The Cult’s LOVE REMOVAL MACHINE over --

Fantasy Island Gentleman’s Club.
About a mile from the beach
on the outskirts of Santa Monica.

Not exactly in disrepair,
but not fancy, either.
A 'meat and potatoes' strip joint.

Parking lot a quarter-full
on a Sunday night.

Sign reads ‘AmateUr NiGht’.
‘HApPy HolIdaze.’

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
The ‘Gentleman’s club’
is an interesting phenomenon.
Men will pay hard-earned cash
to go to a place where
they can see naked women.
Where they can look,
but not touch.
And they’ll spend even
more money for a private dance,
where they can get
‘up close and personal’
with a girl.
(beat)
But there’s still
no touching allowed.
No contact whatsoever.
It’s the ultimate tease.
A gentle torture.
Erotic pleasure --
with no release.
No climax. No -- closure.
(beat)
Kinda like going to a restaurant
and not being able to eat.
Or going to a whorehouse
and not being able to --
(beat)
Never mind.
You get the idea.

ANGLE ON --
A beat-up Dodge Dart Swinger convertible.

A YOUNG WOMAN sits behind the wheel.
Listening to the music on the car stereo.

Nodding her head, eyes closed.
PUNCHING her fists in the air.

Meet BLUE WONDER (20),
recent transplant from the Midwest.

Tall and gawky,
a gazelle still on the cusp.

Long brown hair
tied in a ponytail.
Studious-looking glasses.

Which clashes with
her denim cutoffs
and black vinyl
halter top.

Not to mention
the six-inch platforms.

ANGLE ON --
Her lovely tan legs
move to the music.

ANGLE ON --
She takes off her glasses.
Puts them on the dashboard.

RIPS out her scrunchie.
SHAKES her hair
like a wild woman.

BLUE
(sings along)
Scarlet woman,
bought me a be-er --

She stops.
SHUTS OFF the music.
Looks in the
rearview mirror.

BLUE
I can’t do it.
What the hell
was I thinking.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
You dancing tonight?

A GOOD-LOOKING JOCK
appears next to the car.
Grinning.

BLUE
I was -- thinking about it.

GOOD-LOOKING JOCK
Better think harder.
You’ll win, no problem.

BLUE
You really think so?

GOOD-LOOKING JOCK
You’re not from
around here, are you?

BLUE
It shows, huh --