Cue The Fuzz

Hey there, crime kids. Happy holly-daze. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of LITTLE GIRL BLUE, it's a holly jolly Christmas in Beverly Hills when a freak snow storm hits for the first time ever, just as private eye Carrie Love arrives at her family's home with her client on the run Blue Wonder. Little do they know that strip club owner/white slave trafficker Tolly Chill and his band of goons are on their way to get them ...


EXT. BEVERLY HILLS - SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT
Big, heavy snowflakes start falling.
Making a real mess.

A black SUV travels down the thoroughfare
in heavy traffic.

INT. SUV - CONTINUOUS
Tolly drives, while Porkpie watches
the hand-held GPS device in the passenger seat.
In the back sit Aldo and Mick.

PORKPIE
I can’t believe it’s fucking SNOWING.
Weather report said nothing about no SNOW.

TOLLY
Look at these idiots.
No one can drive in this shit.
(beat)
So what’s it say?

PORKPIE
They’re still moving. Going west on --
(squints)
Looks like -- they’re further east on Sunset.

TOLLY
Whaddaya mean looks like?

PORKPIE
Fuckin’ screen is so small.
It’s hard to tell.

TOLLY
(GRABS it)
Gimmee that fuckin’ thing.

He tries to read it as he’s driving.
Doesn’t see --

UP AHEAD
A car SCREECHES to a halt.

THE SUV
CRASHES into it. BANG.

TOLLY
Shit.

PORKPIE
Nice one.

TOLLY
Shut the fuck up.

MICK
This car legal?

TOLLY
Hell, yeah.

ALDO
They gonna find anything
when they run your license?

TOLLY
What the fuck do YOU think?

OUTSIDE THE SUV
A grim-looking SUIT
appears in Tolly’s window.
Knocks on it. Tolly rolls it down.


GRIM-LOOKING SUIT
You hit my car.

TOLLY
What are you gonna do about it?

GRIM-LOOKING SUIT
(holds up his cell phone)
I’ve called the police.
Now we need to exchange
insurance information.

TOLLY
How ‘bout we exchange THIS?

He PUNCHES Grim-Looking in the face.
BANG, he goes down.

Tolly HITS the gas,
and they drive away.

EXT. MARGO’S MANSION - AT THAT MOMENT
The entire estate is now covered
in a blanket of snow.

Carrie pulls her monster Olds convertible
into the driveway.

CARRIE
I’ve never seen -- snow before. Amazing.

BLUE
Reminds me of home.

CARRIE
Looks like you got yourself a
White Christmas.
(beat)
Listen, I gotta warn you.
My family is kinda -- strange.

BLUE
Who’s isn’t?

CARRIE
Point well taken.

They get out of the car.
SLAM the doors.

CARRIE
We’re just gonna stay for a sec.
When Bernie gets here,
we’ll get that cuff off you,
then we can --

BERNIE
Pulls up the driveway.

CARRIE
(sees him)
Cue the fuzz.

Bernie gets out of his car.
Walks over. Huddles in his coat.

BERNIE
You owe me one, BIG TIME.
(looks up)
What’s up with the fucking SNOW?
(looks at Blue)
So this is -- ?

CARRIE
My CLIENT, Bernie.
Blue Wonder, Bernie Keko.
Bernie, Blue.

BERNIE
'Blue Wonder?' Sounds like --

CARRIE
CAN IT, Bernie.

BLUE
My parents were hippies.

CARRIE
And her sister was murdered.
So can we get this over with?
I’m fucking freezing.

BERNIE
Lead on, MacDuff --