Axis Of Evil

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of LITTLE GIRL BLUE, as private eye Carrie Love and her client Blue Wonder make their getaway, Tolly Chill and his goons track where they are from the electronic ankle cuff they put on Blue, so Carrie calls her ex-partner/ex-husband, homicide detective Bernie Keko, who is NOT pleased that she's interrupting his football game ...


INT. GERO’S MANSION - STUDY - NIGHT
Tolly and Gero stand in the studio.
Tolly’s holding a hand-held GPS tracking device.
He looks at it. Squinting.

TOLLY
She hasn’t gotten that far.

GERO
Fucking IDIOT.
How could you let her get away?

TOLLY
She was fucking tied up, Pop.
Bound and gagged, the whole deal.
(beat)
I KNOW how to immobilize a hostage --

A KNOCK at the door.

GERO
Who the FUCK is it?

PORKPIE (O.C.)
It’s me, boss.

GERO
Get your ass IN HERE.

The door opens. In walks Porkpie.

PORKPIE
Still can’t find her, sir.

TOLLY
That fucking detective helped her escape.
I know it. She followed me from the club.
Fucking bitch dissed me. I’ll show her.

GERO
You let a PRIVATE DICK follow you here?
You IDIOT. Get your stupid ass OUTTA HERE
and go GET ‘EM. Take Porkpie,
and bring Aldo and Mick.

TOLLY
I’m on my way.
(to Porkpie)
Come on.

He goes to the door.

GERO
God help me, if you don’t get both of them,
there’s gonna be HELL to pay.

INT. CARRIE’S OLDS - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Carrie drives like a maniac.
She runs a red light. Cars HONK.

BLUE
Do you have to drive so FAST?

CARRIE
I’m sorry, but my brother
was killed in a hit and run,
my mother had a stroke,
and my stepmother is on her way to visit --
and in my family, that’s the Axis of Evil.

BLUE
Holy shit. I’m -- sorry.
(beat)
So we’re -- going over there?

CARRIE
I’m sorry, but I have to. Just for a sec.
We still gotta figure out what to do
about that ankle cuff.
That greasy chucklehead is
gonna be on our tail pretty soon.

BLUE
You don’t know how to get it off?

CARRIE
I wish I did, but I never --
(beat)
WAIT a minute.
(grabs her cell, dials a number)
Bernie. It’s me.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. BAY STREET - BUNGALOW - NIGHT
A few blocks from the beach in Santa Monica.
On a leafy street, a Craftsman bungalow
divided into apartments.

INT. BERNIE’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Clean, but spare. A MAN sits watching
a football game on the TV in a tiny living room.

Meet BERNIE KEKO (40’s), Carrie’s ex-partner.
And ex-husband. Rugged good looks.

A bit gone to seed. But still a player.
He cradles the phone under his chin.
Reaches for some popcorn.

BERNIE
I can’t talk right now, Carrie.
I’m watching the game.
(at the TV)
Go, GO, GO!

CARRIE
It’s an emergency.

BERNIE
Did someone DIE?
(at the TV)
C’mon ref, FOUL.

CARRIE
Yeah. My brother died,
my mother had a stroke, and --

BERNIE
I’m really sorry, but what does
that have to do with me?
As you might remember, we’re DIVORCED --
and it’s CHRISTMAS EVE.
(watches the TV)
GODDAMMIT.

CARRIE
Bernie, listen to me --
I wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t an emergency.
I’ve got a client with me that was just KIDNAPPED,
and now that I’ve RESCUED her,
I’d like to take off the
electronic ankle cuff the bad guys put on her.
(beat)
She’s twenty years old, Bernie.
She’s a kid. And she’s scared shitless.
Can you help me or not?
I’ve gotta visit the family,
and I’d rather not have a bunch of
white slave traffickers follow me there.

BERNIE
Never a dull moment when you’re around --
(beat)
What model is it?

CARRIE
Hold on --
(to Blue)
The cuff.
Can you see who the manufacturer is?

Blue puts her foot up on the seat. Looks.

BLUE
It says -- 'Hawk.'

CARRIE
(to Bernie)
It’s a Hawk.
Does the department use that?

BERNIE
Hell if I know.
Just cut the fucker off.
Use some tin snips or something.
(at the TV)
SCORE!

CARRIE
Do you have tin snips?

BERNIE
I do, but --

CARRIE
BERNIE.

BERNIE
Goddamit, Carrie.

CARRIE
I know. I know. I owe you one.

BERNIE
You owe me FIVE.

CARRIE
I’ll never bother you again. Promise.

PUSH IN ON Bernie. Royally pissed. He sighs.

BERNIE
What’s the address?