Reach Out And Fuck Someone

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of LITTLE GIRL BLUE, private eye Carrie Love reveals to her family that she has accidentally led Tolly Chill and his crew right to their house, and that they have to start getting ready to defend themselves against their attack ...


EXT. MARGO'S MANSION - FRONT STEPS - NIGHT
Tolly and Porkpie stand in front of the door.
Mick and Aldo, behind them. Shivering in the cold.

INSIDE
Seth goes to the door. Puts his hand on the knob.

CARRIE
Wait. Hold on a sec.

She goes to the peephole. Looks.

FISH EYE LENS POV
Tolly’s face. Distorted. Grimacing from the cold.

CARRIE
Leaps back.

CARRIE (CONT’D)
Shit. It’s them.

SETH
Who’s them?

Pause.

CARRIE
We were, uh -- followed.

SETH
Bad guys?

CARRIE
(sheepish)
Sorry.

SETH
Shit, Carrie -- how COULD you?

The doorbell RINGS again.

CARRIE
Look -- I was rescuing Blue, you called,
told me Mom had a stroke,
I needed to meet Bernie somewhere
where he could cut off the cuff --
(beat)
I’m SORRY. I thought the snow would slow them down.

SETH
Do you realize how FUCKED UP this is?

CARRIE
YES. Calm down. Bernie and I here.
It’s gonna be okay. How’s the security system?
Mom still have what Dad installed?

SETH
Yeah. You know how paranoid she is.
It’s like Fort Knox. Ever since the riots --

CARRIE
Hold on a sec. And DON’T open the door.

Carrie races over to the powder room. Goes in.

IN THE POWDER ROOM
She looks out the window. Sees Tolly and the gang.

IN THE FOYER
Carrie walks over to Seth.

CARRIE (CONT’D)
Okay, here’s the plan. You call 911,
I’ll go talk to the others. It’s gonna be okay.
I’m gonna figure something out.

SETH
(scared)
You’re gonna figure something out?

CARRIE
I’ll protect you, I promise.
Go to the rec room, activate the fail safe,
call 911, get mom’s rifles,
then meet me back in the den, okay?

SETH
Okay.

CARRIE
It’s gonna be okay, I promise.
Have I ever steered you wrong?

SETH
You really want me to answer that?

POUNDING on the front door.

TOLLY (O.C.)
Hello! Is anybody HOME?
Our car has BROKEN DOWN. We NEED HELP.

EXT. MANSION - FRONT STOOP - CONTINUOUS
Tolly turns to Porkpie.

TOLLY
They must be onto us.
(to Aldo and Mick)
Go find the phone box. Disable it.
Then get the fusebox. Hurry.

They nod. RACE OFF.
Porkpie pulls a high-tech device out of his pocket.
Looks like a remote.

TOLLY (CONT’D)
What the fuck is THAT?

PORKPIE
Cell phone scrambler.
Got it from that Mossad agent we whacked.
Thought it might come in handy.

TOLLY
Fucking genius.

Porkpie PRESSES a series of buttons.

PORKPIE
Reach out and FUCK someone.

IN THE HOUSE
Seth walks into the rec room.
Punches a number on his cell phone. Listens.

SETH
What the hell?

He walks over to a panel near the light switch.
FLICKS ON a series of buttons.

Enters a code. Goes to a gun rack.
Grabs a pair of RIFLES.
Grabs a couple boxes of ammo. DASHES off.

OUTSIDE THE HOUSE
A series of METAL SHUTTERS CLAMP down
over the first floor windows, one by one,
CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK.

Tolly and Porkpie watch.

TOLLY
SHIT. God-DAMMIT.

PORKPIE
I’ll go make sure they kill the power.

He RUNS off.

INT. STUDY - AT THAT MOMENT
Carrie stands in the doorway.

CARRIE
Everybody, I’ve got something I need to tell you.

BLUE
Hey. He got the cuff off.

CARRIE
That’s -- great.

BERNIE
(reads her expression)
What’s wrong?

CARRIE
I need everyone to remain calm --

MARGO
What the FUCK is going on, Carrie?

Pause.

CARRIE
The people that were following us --
(beat)
Are outside. And they’re trying to get in.

MARGO
How DARE you bring CRIMINALS to my HOME.
What were you THINKING?

CARRIE
SETH called me, said you had a STROKE.
I was THINKING of making sure my MOTHER was OKAY.

The power GOES OUT. Seth rushes in, holding the rifles.

SETH
Not to worry, emergency generator should kick in right away.

LAYLA
(crosses herself)
Dear Jesus, Mother Mary of God --

The lights COME BACK ON.

BERNIE
(to Carrie)
You just HAD to drag me out of the house.

CARRIE
Look, I realize you’re upset.
But if we all remain calm,
everything will be alright.

Seth goes to the phone on the desk.
Picks up the receiver.

SETH
The phone’s dead.
(looks at Carrie)
And my cell isn’t working.

Carrie whips out hers. Punches a number. Listens.

CARRIE
Bastard’s have a scrambler. SHIT.

BLUE
I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault.
If I hadn’t asked you to help me --

CARRIE
Enough of that. What’s done is done.
Everybody just relax.
here’s only four of them, and six of us.
(looks at Seth)
We’ve got two rifles --
(pulls out her Glock)
And I’ve got this.

Bernie pulls out his service revolver.
Then another piece from his ankle holster.

BERNIE
And I’ve got these.

CARRIE
Great. So that’s -- five guns.

Margo looks at Carrie. Quizzical.
She’s never seen this side of her daughter.

MARGO
Someone get me my handbag.

Seth does. Hands it to her.
Margo pulls out a STUN GUN.

MARGO (CONT’D)
And I’ve got 5000 volts of
'don’t mess with me, motherfucker.'

CARRIE
I’m not even gonna ask.