Smooth As Silk

Hey there, crime kids. Happy fucking Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 33 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, on the lam from the law, private eye Carrie Love hides out at her favorite Venice Beach dive bar and hooks up with a wayward stripper, but when she gets a call from Jenny Lane, who needs her help, the spell is broken ...


INT. THE HORSE HEAD - DUSK
Unbelievably dank and dark.
Broken ceiling fan.

Scary-looking BARTENDER watches a ball game
on a shitty little black-and-white.

Two DRUNK LOCALS sit nearby
nursing their beers.

The jukebox spills out the scuzzy guitar shards
of Urge Overkill’s SISTER HAVANA.

An off-duty CURVY STRIPPER drinks and twists,
oblivious. Celebrating some private party.

Carrie slides onto a bar stool.
Eyes Curvy’s moves.

CARRIE
(to herself)
I’m in a Roger Corman movie --

The BARTENDER leans over.
Glares. Barely whispers.

SCARY BARTENDER
What’ll it be?

CARRIE
Heinekin, double shot of bourbon.
Kessler’s, if you got it --

SCARY BARTENDER
(nods, grim)
Kessler’s. 'Smooth as silk.'

He turns to get her order.

HISPANIC MALE VOICE (O.C.)
How ya doin,’ mommy?
Haven’t seen you in here before --

Carrie looks left.
Then down, at --

A GUY IN A WHEELCHAIR
near her stool.

The wannabe lothario grins, wolfish.
Takes a slurp of beer. Looks up.
Beady eyes leering.

CARRIE
Sorry, Mack.
I don’t do the ‘Coming Home’ thing.
But slide me your digits,
and I’ll give ‘em to Jane Fonda.

Scary returns with the drinks.
Sees Wheelie-Boy.

SCARY BARTENDER
Leave the babe alone,
Rodriguez, okay?

Carrie SLAPS down a ten-spot.
Slides off her stool.

CARRIE
Watch my change, will ya?
(to Rodriguez)
What do you call someone
who’s HIV-positive in a wheelchair?
Roll-AIDS.

She turns, walks toward Curvy.
Scary ROARS with laughter.

Downs her shot.
Sips her beer.
Moves to the music.

Curvy senses Carrie’s presence.
Turns. Stares.

Likes what she sees.
Starts dancing for her.

CARRIE
Where’s a pole
when you need one?

CURVY
Can I get a hit offa that?

Carrie hands her the beer.
Curvy takes a long,
luxurious swallow.
Holds the bottle
against her forehead.

CURVY
Thanks. I needed that.

CARRIE
Makes two of us.

Curvy smiles.
The deal is closed.
Carrie’s cell phone RINGS.

CARRIE
Hold that thought.
(answers it, listens)
Jenny.

SPLIT SCREEN WITH:

EXT. JENNY’S APARTMENT - BALCONY - DUSK
Jenny leans on the railing
with a stiff cocktail.
Looks at the canal.

She turns toward us.
We see she has a black eye.

JENNY
(into the phone)
How are you? You -- okay?

CARRIE
Yeah. Hold on a sec.
(covers the phone, to Curvy)
Be back in a sec.
Business call.
Why don’t you go
warm up a bar stool for me?

Curvy smiles.
Trots off to the bar.
Carrie sits at a table.

CARRIE
I’m back.

JENNY
(jittery)
That’s just -- just great.

CARRIE
What’s going on?
You sound -- strange.

JENNY
Modi and I got into
a big fight and he fired me,
I went to his place after work
to try and get my job back,
we argued some more,
he hit me, and I pushed him,
and he, he --
(beat)
Fell.
He hit his head.
He’s, unconscious.

CARRIE
No way.

JENNY
C-can you come over?

CARRIE
(looks off camera at Curvy)
Shit.
(sighs)
Be right there.
(clicks the phone shut)
Damn. Stripper-interruptus --