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Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Seventh Inning Stretch
Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. You say you're sick and tired of hearing about trouble in the Middle East? Sick of earthquakes, tsunamis and nuclear reactors melting down? Then it's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 2 of NOWHERE GIRL, just as Homeland Security agent April Street starts questioning exotic dancer Cherry Nation about the goon who handcuffed a briefcase to her wrist, the joint EXPLODES with bullets, as they get attacked by black ops commandos ...
INT. AIRPORT BAR - NIGHT
The door FLIES OPEN.
April RACES into the room.
WHIRLS AROUND. Stops.
Holds up her badge.
APRIL
Homeland Security, everybody FREEZE!
People stop talking. Look.
April pulls out a photograph.
Starts showing it around.
APRIL
Has anyone here seen THIS MAN?
It’s a matter of national security.
April shows it to the bartender.
He shakes his head ‘no.’
She goes to Cherry and Peeler’s table.
CHERRY
Ohmigod.
APRIL
You SAW him? He was HERE?
Cherry slowly puts
the briefcase on the table.
April stares at it,
at the handcuffs.
Then looks at Cherry more closely.
Their resemblance.
APRIL
I’m afraid you’re going to
have to come with me, Miss.
CHERRY
But he said he’d
hurt my family if I didn’t --
The wall of windows EXPLODES
in a HAIL OF BULLETS.
Cherry and Peeler JUMP,
hide under a table.
April HITS the floor, ROLLS away.
Slides behind the bar.
Pulls out twin giant
SIG SAUER HANDGUNS
and starts FIRING.
Cherry and Peeler start
crawling toward the entrance.
Two HUGE GOONS in black BOUND IN.
A red DOT appears on the
forehead of the first one.
His head EXPLODES IN A RED MIST.
APRIL
Smiles. Takes aim at --
THE OTHER GOON
Who FIRES at April.
She DUCKS behind the bar.
CHERRY AND PEELER
Make it to the doorway.
Crawl away.
THE GOON
RACES toward the bar.
SPRAYING his Uzi.
Bottles FLY, SMASH.
BEHIND THE BAR
April crawls to the end.
GRABS a baseball bat.
THE GOON
Stealthily creeps up
toward the end of the bar, where --
APRIL
CRACKS him on the head.
The goon goes down, THWUMP.
APRIL
Sorry, fella --
seventh inning stretch.
She looks around.
Sees that Cherry is gone.
APRIL
Shit.
And RACES toward the door.
INT. AIRPORT CORRIDOR - AT THAT MOMENT
A drum-and-bass big-beat
by The Crystal Method PUMPS over --
Cherry and Peeler.
TEARING ASS down the moving walkway.
The briefcase BANGING
against the railing.
PEELER
Where are we going?!
CHERRY
The fuck OUTTA here!
CAMERA FLIES BACKWARD,
WHIPS AROUND --
So that we see April
at the other end.
She SEES THEM.
APRIL
Motherfucker.
And she starts
TEARING ASS after them --
CHERRY AND PEELER
Reach the end of the moving sidewalk.
A sign reads BAGGAGE CLAIM.
Cherry GRABS Peeler’s hand.
JERKS HIM toward it.
CHERRY
C’mon!
They CLATTER down the stairs.
APRIL
Reaches the end of the sidewalk.
Looks around.
APRIL
Shit. Think, think, think --
She sees the sign.
RUNS to the top of the stairs,
sees Cherry and Peeler going down,
and TAKES OFF after them.
CHERRY AND PEELER
Hit the bottom.
Cherry BANGS into a porter. OOF.
PORTER
HEY!
CHERRY
Sorry!
She GRABS Peeler’s hand,
and they RACE AWAY.
PORTER
SLOW DOWN, bitch!
APRIL
BANGS into the porter.
PORTER
OW, hey!
He GRAPPLES her in a bear hug.
APRIL
Let me GO.
The porter SQUEEZES TIGHTER.
PORTER
You gotta SLOW DOWN, lady!
APRIL
I’m a GOVERNMENT AGENT.
PORTER
Bull-shit.
She FLINGS his arms away.
CRACKS him in the jaw. THWUMP.
Notices a crowd of ONLOOKERS.
Shows her ID.
APRIL
Homeland Security.
Keeping America safe.
And TAKES OFF.
A PAIR OF LITTLE BOY TWINS
Stand nearby holding hands
with their mother.
TWIN #1
I wanna be like HER
when I grow up.
TWIN #2
But she’s a GIRL --
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