More Chemistry Than Charlie Sheen's Briefcase

Hey there, horror kids. Happy fucking Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, science genius nerd Frankie Stein chases dead cheerleader Shayla Petrie through The Old Mill trying to win her back as the cops, angry vigilantes and the media watch in horror ...


EXT. STATE PARK ROAD - NIGHT
Brub and the vigilantes’ vehicles
ROAR down the road,
followed by a
SQUADRON OF POLICE CARS --
and Del’s NEWS VAN.

INT. CHET’S PATROL CAR - MOVING - NIGHT
Chet drives. Chewing his lip.
He sneaks a glance at Beck.

Beck looks at Vita.
Arches an eyebrow.

BECK
That’s quite the makeover --

VITA
Desperate times call
for desperate measures --
(beat)
So when this is over,
how soon until
you two get horizontal?

BECK
Excuse me?

VITA
I’ve seen how you
look at each other.
You’ve got more chemistry
than Charlie Sheen’s briefcase.

CHET
(blushing)
Adolescent hormones are
giving you ideas, little girl --

VITA
(to Beck)
See? Look, he’s turning red.

Beck looks at Chet.
Flushes. Looks away.

VITA
When I’m right, I’m right.
(beat)
Never underestimate the
deductive powers
of a teenage girl --

INT. OLD MILL - NIGHT
Dank, dark and creepy.
Shayla moves slowly
in the shadows.

FRANKIE (O.C.)
Shayla. Where are you?
I want to talk to you.

Shayla whips her head around,
looks. Can’t see him.

Makes her way over
to a stairway
to the second floor --

SHAYLA
Stay AWAY FROM ME.

And starts RUNNING UP
the staircase.

FRANKIE walks into frame.
Sees her.

RACES toward the stairs.

FRANKIE
Shayla, COME BACK --

EXT. THE OLD MILL - NIGHT
The vigilantes’ cars ROAR
down the road to the mill.

SCREECH to a stop in front.
Brub and the rest
pile out of their vehicles.

Stand and look at the mill.

Shayla appears in
an upstairs window.
Sees them. Disappears.

BRUB
There SHE IS.
I saw her.
She’s UP THERE.

RED-FACED REDNECK
(KA-CHINKS his shotgun)
Let’s get ‘er done --

The police cars
FLY toward them
in a CRUNCH of gravel.
Come to a stop.

The cops get out.
Point their shotguns
at the vigilantes.

Beck holds a small Uzi.
Grimaces.

CHET
Hold it right there, Brub.
All of you, put
DOWN your weapons, NOW.

BECK
If any of you
so as makes a MOVE,
you’re shredded wheat,
GOT IT?

CHET
(under his breath)
Where the hell you get that?

BECK
Picked it up at a
zombie apocalypse in the UK.
Never leave home without it.

INT. OLD MILL - SECOND FLOOR - NIGHT
A large dark, room
filled with giant bags of flour.

Shayla stands at the far end
holding a pitchfork.

Frankie comes up the stairs.
Creeps in the darkness,
trying to see.

SHAYLA
Stay AWAY from me.
You RUINED my life --
I mean, my DEATH.
(beat)
It’s not NICE
to fool Mother Nature.

FRANKIE
Shayla, please.
I just want to talk.
I can explain.

SHAYLA
Fuck YOU. Explain THIS --

And she THROWS
the pitchfork at him.
He DIVES to the side.

It HITS a pillar
and CLANGS to the floor.

Shayla sees a ladder on the wall
going up to the roof.
She starts climbing it.

Franke sees her going up.
Starts after her.

FRANKIE
Shayla, WAIT --