Hasta La Vista, Refried Motherfuckers

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of NOWHERE GIRL, stripper-with-a-suitcase-nuke Cherry Nation and Silverlake hipster Peeler Mardo escape their pursuers by getting on the city bus, but then get accosted by a nasty group of gang-bangers ...


INT. CITY BUS - MOVING - NIGHT
One of those long, red monsters,
in sections, like a snake.

Only a handful of passengers.
Cherry and Peeler sit toward the back.
Look at a video monitor.

CHERRY
I didn’t know they
had TV on the bus.

PEELER
It’s not real TV. Watch.

ON THE SCREEN
A smiling LATINA gives a pitch
about ‘Accidentes Abigados.’

CHERRY
Makes a face.

CHERRY
It’s in Spanish.

PEELER
Welcome to how
the other half lives.

The bus STOPS.

A trio of GANG-BANGERS
(early 20’s) boards.

They strut down the aisle.

The first one,
the LEADER, sees Cherry.

He stops.
Nudges the others.
Gold-toothed smiles.

They move slowly,
sauntering,
until they reach
Cherry and Peeler.

The leader sits
in front of them.
The others, behind.

LEAD GANG-BANGER
What'cha got in da case,
mommy?

CHERRY
Uh -- nothing.

LEAD GANG-BANGER
Can’t be nothin’,
or else you wouldn’ta
be cuffed to it.

The SHORT, UGLY GANG-BANGER
sitting behind Cherry
FLIPS open a switchblade,
revealing a long knife.

Cherry SHUDDERS.

SHORT, UGLY GANG-BANGER
It’s gotta be
valuable, riiight?

The other kid,
a TALLER, GOOD-LOOKING GANG-BANGER
pulls out a forty-ounce bottle
of malt liquor.

Takes a swig.

TALLER, GOOD-LOOKING GANG-BANGER
I say she open it
and show us what she’s got.

PEELER
That wouldn’t be a good idea.

LEAD GANG-BANGER
And why is dat?

The bus JERKS to a stop.

A FAT WOMAN in a wheelchair
is getting on.

This will take a little while --

CHERRY
Because it’s a BOMB.

The Leader starts LAUGHING.
Then, the others join in.

LEAD GANG-BANGER
You kiddin’ me.
Why would a nice
piece of pussy like you
have a BOMB?

CHERRY
For assholes like YOU.

She LEAPS UP --
and WHACKS Leader
in the head with the case,
CRACK, SPINS AROUND,
and CRACKS Short, Ugly
in the face.

CHERRY
(to Peeler)
MOVE IT, now!

Peeler JUMPS UP,
races toward the exit.

Tall, Good-Looking
cowers with fear.

CHERRY
You want a piece of this, homes?

He shakes his head ‘no.’

CHERRY
I didn’t think so.
Hasta la vista,
refried motherfuckers.

EXT. BUS STOP - SECONDS LATER
Cherry and Peeler FLY
out the exit door.

RACE down the street.
LAUGHING and WHOOPING.

PEELER
Holy fucking shit!
You CLOCKED ‘em!

Cherry slows down.
Catches her breath.

CHERRY
I don’t know what happened.
It was like something snapped --
and I just DID it.

PEELER
You were great.
And I don’t even feel emasculated.
(beat)
Okay, where to now?

CHERRY
I’m starving.
Let’s grab a quick bite,
regroup, and then
deliver this fucker.

PEELER
(staring, big smile)
I’d follow you
to the end of the earth.

Cherry stops.
Gives him the eye.

CHERRY
I’m still not
gonna fuck you --