Rules Of Procedure

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In Chapter 4 of NOWHERE GIRL, Homeland Security agent April Street gets chewed out on the phone by her boss, black ops spook Sledge Crafton. Meanwhile, stripper-on-the-run Cherry Nation and Silverlake hipster Peeler Mardo hide out at his joint, but suddenly have to deal with an unexpected visitor ...


INT. TAXI CAB - MOVING - NIGHT
April drives down city streets.
Talks into her hands-free cell.

APRIL
I TOLD you.
Someone got there before I did.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
SLEDGE CRAFTON (50), beefy ex-Marine,
now gone to seed, leans toward
the speakerphone on his desk.

Strokes the ugly scar that
crisscrosses his face.
Angry. Beet-red.

SLEDGE
You really fucked this up, Street.
GODDAMIT.

APRIL
HEY. The traffic was FUCKED on the 405.
And I was ON TIME. The fucker was EARLY,
and he gave the package to SOMEONE ELSE.

SLEDGE
Another heartbreaker?
Like yourself?

Pause.

APRIL
Look, chief.
We did it one time.
It was a mistake.
I was grieving --

SLEDGE
Didn’t you ever wonder
why I took you on?
(BANGS on the desk)
A fucking STUNT WOMAN
with no experience?

APRIL
But you said I --

SLEDGE
I fucking said what you wanted to hear.
I wanted to get in your pants from day one.
And against all odds,
I molded you into
one of our top operatives.
(beat)
Until now.

APRIL
For your information, BOSS,
I’m right now approaching the house
of the person who has the package.
I WAS calling in for back up.
But never mind.
I’ll handle it myself.
You can go FUCK your
rules of procedure.

SLEDGE
Now THAT’S the feisty lass
I groomed for greatness.
You get that case,
AND make the delivery,
I MIGHT JUST consider keeping you on.

PUSH IN ON April. Royally pissed.

APRIL
Wow. Does that mean I can
still come to the company picnic?

EXT. SILVERLAKE STREET - BUNGALOW - NIGHT
A decrepit pre-war bungalow
on a street with similar small houses.
Classic cars and bicycles dot the landscape.

Peeler opens the front door,
ushers Cherry in.

PEELER
It’s not much,
but I call it hovel.

INT. MARDO’S JOINT - CONTINUOUS
Classic hipster combination of Ikea,
found threadbare furniture.
Ironic art. Plants. Pizza boxes.

Giant plasma screen, though.
And a decent stereo.

Cherry walks around. Inspecting.

CHERRY
Not bad for a guy. Not filthy.
(stops, looks at him)
I’m not fucking you, you know.

PEELER
I wasn’t -- thinking you --
(beat)
You want me to fix you
a chai latte?

CHERRY
Gag me. You got a beer?

PEELER
Sure thing.

Peeler wanders into the kitchen.
Cherry goes to the couch. Plops down.

Puts the briefcase next to her.
Pulls out the envelope. RIPS it open.
Pulls out the instructions. Reads.

Peeler comes in with
two large bottles of beer.

PEELER
(hands one to her)
Here you go --

CHERRY
(takes it, looks)
What the hell kinda beer IS this?

PEELER
Flat tire. Microbrew.

CHERRY
I bet you listen to a lot of Beck.
(holds up the piece of paper)
We gotta take the briefcase to this address.
But I don’t where it is.

PEELER
Let me see.

She hands it over.
Peeler reads it.

CHERRY
Where is it?

PEELER
Dude. That’s in the Hollywood hills.

A FIGURE IN BLACK appears in the window.
Then disappears.

CHERRY
Will you go with me?

PEELER
I don’t -- have a car.
It’s in the shop.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
That’s okay. I do.

TOKEN WARE
Walks into the room.
Holding a sawed-off shotgun.

TOKEN
You should lock your front door.
Open invitation for dangerous criminals.

CHERRY
YOU.

PEELER
That’s the guy who -- ?

TOKEN
I gave you an address to take the case to.
And instead, you come to this rat-trap
to fuck this LOSER?

CHERRY
I’m gonna go, I’m gonna go.
We got shot at, at the airport,
and, and --

PEELER
We were -- just leaving.
Please don’t shoot us.

TOKEN
(to Cherry)
Did I say you could take
SOMEONE WITH YOU?
This isn’t a DATE.
We’re dealing with TERRORISTS here.
There’s a TIME-TABLE.
And now you’re LATE.
You think an AL QAEDA SLEEPER CELL
is just gonna HANG AROUND
ALL DAY and WAIT?

A GLOCK
Appears next to Token’s head.
The safety CLICKS.

WOMAN’S VOICE (O.C.)
Put the gun down, slowly.

APRIL
Stands in the doorway.
Token lowers the gun.

APRIL
You gave the case
to the wrong chick, doll.
(looks at Cherry)
Jesus Christ.
You could be my sister --