Jesus Fucking Christ On A Stick

Happy Monday, crime slicksters! Are you ready for another sucker-punch in the gut? A pulse-pounding, hardboiled tale that'll make your hair stand on end? Then welcome to the dark side ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's joint from BLOOD GETS IN YOUR EYES, where the story goes into a most twisted direction ...

We return to hooker Alona Tal's sleazy motel room, where boozy screenwriter Holly Land confesses to killing Hollywood assistant Feo after he tried to escape, and prep school teacher Gill Sherry confesses to killing his wife when she caught him breaking into her house. But there's more trouble in store, as Alona reveals that their 'dead body disposal help' as gone AWOL, and that they're now going to have to take care of stiff themselves ...


INT. ALONA'S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
A soft KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK on the door.

HOLLY (O.C.)
Alona, it’s me, Holly.

Beggar goes to the door. Opens it.
Holly comes in. Looks scared. Lost.
More than a little freaked out.

ALONA
Holly --

She races over to Alona.
Grabs her in a hug. Shaking.

ALONA (CONT’D)
Baby, what’s wrong?
(realizes)
Wait a minute, where’s Feo?

HOLLY
He’s DEAD.

BEGGAR
What THE FUCK?

ALONA
What happened?

HOLLY
(pulls away, wipes her eyes)
He ran away, and I-I chased after him,
but he got on a bike, and-and,
he was getting away, and I, I --
(beat)
Shot him.

BEGGAR
Jesus fucking Christ on a stick.

HOLLY
It’s okay. Nobody saw us.

ALONA
You sure?

HOLLY
Yeah.

BEGGAR
Did you at least get his money?

HOLLY
Yeah. Eighty bucks.

BEGGAR
Well, that’s just great.
We can go on that trip we’ve been planning.
(beat)
You’re a psycho, you know that?
What’s the body count now?
THREE PEOPLE?

ALONA
Leave her alone.
Yelling at her isn’t going to help.

LIEF
And I thought I had problems --

A sharp RAP-RAP-RAP on the door.

GILL
Alona, it’s me, Gill. Let me in. I’ve been -- hurt.

BEGGAR
This is unbelievable.
What the fuck is this, Grand Central Station?

He goes to the door. Unlocks it. Gill stumbles in.
A filthy rag is tied around his foot. Oozing blood.

GILL
Alona --

ALONA
What happened to your foot?

Gill goes to the bed.
Sits. Looks at the wound.

GILL
It’s -- oh my god.
(looks up)
Donna caught me with her purse.
Pulled a gun on me.
We struggled for it.
She got me in the foot.
We fought, and --
(beat)
I shot her.

ALONA
Is she -- dead?

GILL
Very.

BEGGAR
You killed someone TOO?

LIEF
You guys should start a club.
At least MY dead body was accidental.

BEGGAR
Shut up. I need to think --

Holly goes to the kitchenette.
Pours herself a cup of vodka.
Looks at Alona. She nods.

ALONA
Thanks.

GILL
Pour me one, too?

Holly nods. Looks at Beggar.

BEGGAR
Yeah.

LIEF
Me three.

She pours the drinks. Brings them over.
Everyone takes one. They sip.
Look at each other nervously.

ALONA
We’re gonna have to do it ourselves.

BEGGAR
She’s right.
(beat)
Goddammit.

LIEF
Do what?

HOLLY
Dispose of the body.

GILL
Uh, count me out.
I’m just going to go back to my room and --

ALONA
Fuck that. You’re not going ANYWHERE.
We’re all in this together, GOT IT?

Pause.

GILL
Got it.

Everyone stares at each other. Miserable.
Freaked out. Alona drains her cup.
Walks over to the kitchenette.
Pours another. Turns.
Looks at the room. Eyes blazing.

ALONA
Okay.
We’re gonna need something to cut Oscar up with.
A hack saw, butcher’s knife --
(sips her drink)
Anybody got any ideas?