Eyes Wide Fuck

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of NOWHERE GIRL, Bel Air Security guard Renny Quick gets a big surprise when he shows up at the Hollywood Hills mansion where the Al Qaeda terrorists are hiding. Meanwhile, CIA agent Shag Holiday and Homeland Security agent April Street team up to try and find renegade stripper with a suitcase nuke Cherry Nation ...


EXT. MANSION - NIGHT
The Driver and Renny
stand at the front door.

Their car’s lights FLASH
behind them in the driveway.

RENNY
(to Driver)
Ring it again, Carlos.

CARLOS
(presses the buzzer)
This is bullshit.
Let’s get the fuck outta here.
Go hit Fatburger.

RENNY
Hold on.
Not so fucking fast.
Something’s not right.
I can smell it.
All the lights are on --
and they don’t answer the door?

The front door SWINGS OPEN.
Revealing Rich Husband,
with a big, weird smile on his face.
Eyes full of terror.

RICH HUSBAND
Sorry to keep you gentlemen waiting.
What seems to be the problem?

IN THE FOYER, AGAINST THE WALL
Kamal stands out of sight,
holding an Uzi on Rich.

IN THE DOORWAY
Rich blinks,
raises his eyebrows expectantly.

CARLOS
We received over a dozen 911 calls
from a number at this address.

RICH HUSBAND
From this address?
Are you sure?

CARLOS
Yeah. We can track
where a call comes from.
It was this address.

RICH HUSBAND
I don’t know what to say.
No one here called you -- perhaps your --
tracking made a mistake.
(beat)
Oh, wait a minute --
maybe it’s my son’s phone --
but he’s not home right now.
Please be assured that I will
discipline him for this.
And please accept my apologies.

RENNY
Could I please use your bathroom?
I hate to ask, but it’s
kind of an emergency.

Renny holds his crotch.
Does that ‘I gotta pee’ dance.

Rich looks startled,
looks to his left.

RENNY
I thought so.

He PUSHES his way past Rich,
and runs straight into Kamal.
Aiming his Uzi at Renny’s stomach.

KAMAL
Gentlemen.
This is most unfortunate.
Please come in and make yourselves --
our hostages.

Renny LEAPS at Kamal,
grabs for control of the gun.

It SHOOTS WILDLY,
MOWING DOWN Carlos.

The GUARDS run in and GRAB Renny,
PISTOL-WHIP him into submission.

KAMAL
(looks at the body)
Hurry up and bring it in.
Put the car in the garage.
And then tie up our visitor.
(beat)
Let’s have some fun.

INT. POOLHOUSE - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
April sits on the couch with her hands cuffed.
Another set connect her ankle
to a leg of the coffee table.

APRIL
Fucking WHORE version of ME.

She raises her wrists to her hair,
pulls out a hairpin.

Puts it in her mouth.
Starts working it on
the cuffs on her hands.

APRIL
(mumbles)
Just wait until
I get my hands on her --

Her cell phone starts RINGING
on the floor a few feet away.

APRIL
SHIT.

It RINGS again.

She furiously works the hairpin
on the lock. No luck.

RING-RING.

APRIL
FUCK.

Shag walks through the ruined door,
gun raised. He stops.

Looks at the Vespa.
Then April.

RING-RING.

SHAG
CHERRY. You -- changed your hair.

APRIL
I’m not Cherry. I’m April.

SHAG
Jesus, You look just like her.
You could be twins.

RING-RING.

APRIL
So that’s her name.
Who are you?

SHAG
Shag Holiday, CIA.
(beat)
She’s my ex.

APRIL
Pleased to meet you.
April Street, Homeland Security.

RING-RING.

SHAG
(nods at the phone)
You want me to get that?

APRIL
Nah. I know who it is.
It can wait. Uncuff me?

SHAG
Yeah. Sure. Hold on --

Shag pulls out keys,
unlocks the cuffs on her wrists.

APRIL
Thanks.

He leans down, uncuffs her ankle.
She stands.

APRIL
Double thanks. So what now?

SHAG
So she was just here?
(off April’s nod)
And she has the nuke?
(off her nod)
Why don’t we team up.
Two heads are better than one.

APRIL
Good idea.
She’s really -- volatile.
What’s her deal?

SHAG
Do you have a few hours?

IN THE WINDOW
Wendon peers in. Pulls away.

OUTSIDE
She leans against the wall.
Raises her assault rifle.

WENDON
A two-fer. Nice --

Vespus Interruptus

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 25 of NOWHERE GIRL, the shit hits the fan when stripper with a suitcase nuke Cherry Nation and hipster Peeler Mardo hide out in the Hollywood Hills pool house and plot their next move ... and Homeland Security agent April Street SMASHES through the door on a Vespa scooter ...


INT. POOL HOUSE - NIGHT
Cherry and Peeler sit on the couch
watching the rain coming down outside.
It’s letting up a bit.

PEELER
So what next.

CHERRY
Well, since our tour guide
got his fucking HEAD blown up,
I think I better call the dude
and get directions.

Cherry pulls out her cell phone.
Tries to dial the number.
But the battery is DEAD.

CHERRY
SHIT.

She FLINGS it
against the wall -- CRACK.

CHERRY
MOTHER-FUCKER!

PEELER
Hey, calm down. It’s okay.
(pulls out his phone)
You can use mine.

CHERRY
I can’t TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

Just then, the side door
BURSTS OPEN with a CRUNCH.

Splintered wood goes FLYING --
And April FLIES IN on the Vespa.

PEELER
Holy SHIT.

CHERRY
NOOOOOO.

Cherry SCRAMBLES to get her gun,
but April is TOO FAST.

She JUMPS off the scooter,
races over and TACKLES her.
Pins her arms to the floor.

Peeler JUMPS on top of April,
tries to pull her off Cherry.

April HEAD-BUTTS Peeler --
and he FLIES backwards,
blood POURING out of this nose.

April sits astride Cherry.

APRIL
I’m a federal officer.
You’re under arrest.

CHERRY
FUCK you.

APRIL
(SLAPS her)
What the FUCK were you DOING?
Did you really think you
could get AWAY with it?
It’s a fucking NUKE.

CHERRY
Go fuck yourself, BITCH.

April takes out her gun.
Points it in Cherry’s face.

APRIL
Don’t fucking move.

She pulls out keys,
unlocks Cherry’s cuffs.
Looks at her.

CHERRY
Incredible. You could be my twin.

Peeler goes to the bar.
Gets a towel for his nose.

PEELER
So I guess we’re in a lot of trouble.

APRIL
Unlawful flight with
a concealed nuclear device?
I would say so.

Peeler inches over to
Cherry’s handbag on the bar.

PEELER
I would imagine that’s --
a lot of time in prison.

APRIL
Try life without parole.
(beat)
If not the death penalty for TREASON.

April gets off of Cherry. Stands.

APRIL
Roll over. On your stomach.

CHERRY
Fuck you.

April KICKS cherry in the side.

CHERRY
OW!

APRIL
DO IT. NOW!

A gun safety CLICKS.

PEELER
Stands behind April.
Pressing it into
the back of her head.

PEELER
I’m really sorry to do this,
but we’re not going to prison.

APRIL
Do you have any idea what you’re doing?
You’re just gonna make it
a hell of a lot WORSE.
Drop the gun, and I promise
you won’t get hurt.

PEELER
(JAMS it into her head)
SHUT UP.

Cherry gets up.
Goes to April.
GRABS her gun.

CHERRY
Okay, bitch -- give me your cuffs.

April does a slow burn.
Takes them out.
Cherry SNATCHES them.

CHERRY
Hands behind your back.

Peeler steps away. Still aiming.

Cherry walks over,
CLICKS the cuffs on April.
Then SHOVES her on the couch.

CHERRY
THAT’S for fucking KICKING me,
fucking BITCH.

APRIL
You’ll never get away with this.
The area is swarming with agents.

CHERRY
We’ll take our chances.
(to Peeler)
Ready to go?

PEELER
Yeah.

He goes over and gets the case.
Hefts it.

PEELER
Heavy.

CHERRY
It’s a fucking NUKE.
Of course it’s HEAVY.

American Pussy

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of NOWHERE GIRL, now safely out of the rain in a Hollywood Hills pool house, fugitive stripper with a suitcase nuke Cherry Nation attends to hipster Peeler Mardo's wound. Meanwhile, Al Qaeda terrorist Hamad Kharrazi has his way with the rich homeowner's wife whose mansion the terrorist cell has taken command of ... just as Bel Air Security arrives ...


INT. POOL HOUSE - NIGHT
Cozy. Very hunting lodge.
Fireplace. Stocked bar.

Cherry and Peeler enter the room.
She guides him over to the couch.
He PLOPS down.

PEELER
Thank god.
(beat)
I’m freezing.

Cherry goes to the heater.
Turns it on.

CHERRY
We’ll get warmed up in a jiffy.
(looks around)
Better leave the lights off.

She find some towels.
Grabs one.
THROWS it at Peeler.

PEELER
(catches it)
Thanks.

They dry themselves.
She notices the bar.

CHERRY
A little brandy
should do the trick.
Then let’s take a look
at your foot.

She pours two snifters.
Takes them to the couch. Sits.

CHERRY (CONT'D)
(hands one to Peeler)
Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.

PEELER
Yeah.
(takes a sip)
Listen to that rain.

CHERRY
Yeah.

She leans over.
Kisses him on the cheek.

PEELER
What was that for?

ANGLE ON --
Cherry’s hand grabs
the end of the rusty nail.
YANKS it.

PEELER
YELLS out in pain.

CHERRY
Distraction.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - NIGHT
The squad car makes its way
down the long, long driveway.

INT. SECURITY SQUAD CAR - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
The guys check out the lux digs.

DRIVER
Shit, look at this joint.
It’s bigger than my high school.

RENNY
Hurry up and park.
I gotta take a piss.

INT. MANSION - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
Unbelievably opulent. Huge.
With a giant circular bed.

Trophy’s wrists have been
tied to the bedposts with rope.

Hamad is on top of her,
slowly humping away.

Her face is streaked with tears.
Eyes closed, softly whimpering.

HAMAD
(grunts)
American pussy --
(beat)
Smells like STRAWBERRIES.

Downstairs, the doorbell RINGS.

HAMAD (CONT’D)
Go away.

He moves faster,
really goes at it.

HAMAD (CONT’D)
You need to MOVE HIPS.

He SLAPS her.
She CRIES out.
Starts humping him.

HAMAD (CONT’D)
That’s more LIKE it.

Kamal comes to the door.
Averts his eyes.

KAMAL
Hamad.

Hamad keeps humping,
reaching his crescendo.

HAMAD
Ah -- ah -- ah --

KAMAL
HAMAD. Sorry to interrupt, but --

Hamad COMES like a bull on steroids.
ROARS like a tiger.

HAMAD
Praise ALLAH!
Fuck AMERICAN PUSSY!

The doorbell RINGS again.

KAMAL
There is someone at the door.
Private Bel Air Security.
What should we do?

Hamad gets off Trophy Wife.
Pads over to Kamal.

HAMAD
Let them in.
Take husband with you.
Tell him we hurt wife
unless he cooperates.

KAMAL
Okay.
(beat)
How was she?

HAMAD
No pubic hair. Outrageous.
(beat)
But incredible turn-on --

North By Northwest

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of NOWHERE GIRL, CIA agent Shag Holiday goes mano-a-mano with assassin Wendon Swift. Meanwhile, renegade stripper with a suitcase nuke Cherry Nation finds a place to hide out in the Hollywood Hills in the rain ... and Homeland Security agent April Street is hot on her trail on a stolen Vespa scooter ...


EXT. GARAGE - DUMPSTER - NIGHT
The heavens open up, and it starts POURING rain.
Thunder BOOMS. Lightening CRACKS in the sky.

IN THE DUMPSTER
Wendon is on top of Shag, CHOKING him.

He PRIES her fingers away.
HEAD-BUTTS her, BANG.

She FLIES against the side
of the container, CRACK.

Shag grabs a board,
BANGS it on her head, WHAM.
She goes down.

He starts to KICK her,
but she GRABS his leg,
YANKS him off his feet.

She stands.
Pulls out her Sig Sauer.

WENDON
Fuck this shit.

She FIRES at his chest --
BANG-BANG-BANG.

He FLIES against the wall, flops down.
She HOPS out of the dumpster. Looks.

WENDON (CONT’D)
Wimp.

And she TAKES OFF into the woods.

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
The wind WHIPS through the trees.
BUCKETS of rain pour down.

Cherry leads Peeler through the woods.
They’re soaked.

They arrive at the rear
of a huge back yard.

Push through the bushes --
and see the back of an enormous mansion.

CHERRY
We gotta find someplace
where we can dry out for a bit.
My arm is fucking killing me,
and my wrist feels like it’s
gonna fall off.

PEELER
What about this place.
It’s got a pool house.

CHERRY
All the lights are out.
Bet they’re out of town.

PEELER
Let’s go.

He starts walking.
CRIES out in pain.

CHERRY
What’s WRONG?

PEELER
SHIT. I stepped on something.
Ow, FUCK.

Peeler lifts his boot.
A large, rusty nail protrudes.

CHERRY
C’mon, lean on me.
We’ll get that taken care of.

PEELER
(puts his arm around her waist)
Thanks.
(beat)
Don’t worry. I’m way past
wanting to fuck anyone at this point.

CHERRY
Huh. That’s a shame.

And she leads a hobbling Peeler
toward the pool house.

EXT. QUEENS ROAD - NIGHT
Torrents of rain pour down on --

April, racing up the steep incline
going up into the hills.

She stops for a moment.
Catches her breath.

APRIL
Fucking -- CRAMP. FUCK.

She massages her leg.
Looks at a house.

A VESPA SCOOTER is parked
in front of the garage.

APRIL (CONT’D)
There is a God.

April RACES up the driveway.
Goes to the scooter.

Opens up the engine manifold.
Finds, strips a pair of wires.

Touches them together.
They SPARK.

The engine ROARS to life.
She hops on. REVS it.
And SPEEDS up the hill.

INT. DUMPSTER - NIGHT
Shag lies in the trash, motionless.
Pelted by the rain.

CLOSE ON --
His EAR.

We see a communications device.
Red light BLINKING.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - CUBICLE - NIGHT
Lark taps a pencil on her desk.
Listening on her headset.

LARK
Shag? You there? Shag?
(beat)
Shit.
(listens)
SHAG?

SHAG
Opens his eyes.
Slowly, painfully sits up.

SHAG
Hey. You don’t have to yell.

LARK
Thank god.
Are you alright?
What happened?

He opens his flack jacket.
We see three SMASHED BULLETS
in his kevlar vest.
He peels them off.

SHAG
Was intercepted -- by someone. Woman.
Had real moves. Vest got a workout.
(shakes his head)
Wonder who she’s with.

LARK
What happened to her?

SHAG
She got away.
Must also be after the case.

Shag gets up,
climbs out of the dumpster.

LARK
Well, you at least hurt her, right?

SHAG
Have no idea.
No time for chit-chat.
I need the new location.
She’s on the move.

Lark looks at her monitor.
Taps a few keys.

LARK
She’s about one-hundred yards
away from you, forty-five degrees,
north by northwest.

SHAG
Like the Hitchcock movie.

LARK
After this is over,
let’s go to Paris.
Catch a thief.

SHAG
(starts jogging)
And what, steal jewels?
Climb rooftops?

LARK
Ooh. You’re so Notorious --

Dick Cheney, Eat Your Heart Out

Hey there, crime kids. Happy FRIDAY. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of NOWHERE GIRL, fugitive stripper with a suitcase nuke Cherry Nation and her posse head into the Hollywood Hills to meet with the Al Qaeda sleeper cell, where they get ambushed by black ops assassin Wendon Swift, just as Cherry's ex, CIA agent Shag Holliay arrives on the scene to help put. Meanwhile, Homeland Security spook April Street is hot on their tail, but gets into a fender-bender ...


EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS - RANCH HOUSE - NIGHT
Brody leads Cherry, Peeler and Stan
through the back yard.

They walk into a wooded area behind the house.
A light RAIN starts falling.

CHERRY
Great. Now it’s fucking RAINING.

She pulls her hoodie up over her head.
Her I-Phone VIBRATES in her pocket.
She pulls it out.

THE SCREEN READS
Reminder: Take your meds.

A finger presses a button.
The LCD reads ERASE.

BRODY
turns his head.
Looks at Cherry.

BRODY
Can I ask you something?

CHERRY
What.

BRODY
If, let’s say, somebody wanted
to get into porn --

CHERRY
(looks at him)
YOU? Are you fucking kidding me?

BRODY
What. I’m not THAT bad-looking.

CHERRY
No, it’s just that --

BRODY
I’ve got eleven inches.

CHERRY
You DO?

PEELER
Wow. Shit.

STAN
What, you didn’t notice?
(off their stares)
So I’m gay.
Big fucking deal.
It’s 2013. Deal with it.

GUNSHOTS SPRAY at them.
Stan GETS HIT in the chest.

Brody gets one in the leg.
So does Peeler.

Cherry’s arm is grazed.
They HIT the ground.
Start crawling into the bushes.

BRODY
I’ve been SHOT.

Bullets WHIZ through the bushes.

Cherry gets behind a tree.
Pulls out her gun.

CHERRY
FUCK. I don’t see anyone.
(to Peeler)
Peeler, are you okay?

Peeler peers out behind a row of bushes.

PEELER
I got shot in the leg, but I’m okay.
But I think Stan is dead.
(sees her arm)
Cherry!

CHERRY
It’s okay. It just grazed me.

BRODY
My leg -- is fucking fucked.

He tries to get up into a crawling position.

CHERRY
STAY DOWN.

But he doesn’t listen. Sits up.

BRODY
I’m getting the fuck outta --

His head EXPLODES in a red mist.

PEELER
Ohmigod, we’re gonna DIE, we’re gonna DIE!

CHERRY
STAY DOWN!

EXT. GARAGE ROOF - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
Wendon kneels on the tiles.
Cradling a sniperscope rifle.

She JAMS a new magazine in, KA-CHINK.
Takes aim. Sneers.

WENDON
Dick Cheney eat your heart out.

Hands suddenly GRAB
her by the neck. She GAGS.

Gets pulled back.
Her rifle CLATTERS onto the tiles.

Wendon GRABS the hands,
and viciously YANKS them off.

She WHIRLS around and faces --
SHAG. Aiming a Sig Sauer at her.

SHAG
Hands in the air!
I’m a federal agent!

Wendon smiles. Raises her hands.

WENDON
So am I, asshole.

SHAG
Get on your knees. NOW.

She arches an eyebrow.
Then WHIRLS like a top and
KICKS Shag in the face -- CRACK.

He FLIES BACKWARDS -- OOF.

She LEAPS into the air
and lands on top of him, THWUMP.

He GRABS her by the waist,
and they ROLL across the tiles --
FLY off the edge of the roof,
and BANG into a dumpster.

IN THE WOODS
Cherry puts down her gun.
Looks at Peeler.

CHERRY
They stopped shooting.
How’s your leg?
Can you walk?

He gets up.
Puts his weight on it.

PEELER
Yeah. But it really hurts.

Cherry takes off her jacket.
RIPS off one of the arms.

Then the other.
Ties them together.

Then wraps it around the wound,
pulls it TIGHT.

Puts the armless jacket back on.

CHERRY
There. That should hold it for awhile.
C’mon, let’s get the fuck outta here.

PEELER
Where did you learn how to do that?

CHERRY
Hey, just because I
take my clothes off for a living
doesn’t mean I wasn’t a Girl Scout --

INT. YELLOW CAB - MOVING - NIGHT
April ZOOMS west on Sunset Boulevard.
Window down. The wind WHIPPING her hair.

The rain is coming down harder, getting her wet.
She checks her PDA. Looks up. Sees something.

APRIL
Hey, ASSHOLE! You’re in the INTERSECTION!

She HITS the breaks, and the cab SKIDS.

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - CONTINUOUS
A BENTLEY SEDAN has pulled out of a mini-mall,
it’s nose in the intersection.

April tries to brake, but she hydroplanes,
and SMASHES into the side of the hood.
Metal CRUNCHES.

PUNCHING the car sideways.
April’s cab COUGHS and dies.

The hood FLIES UP.
Steam BILLOWS out of the engine.

APRIL
SHIT.

The cab driver wakes up.
Starts SCREAMING at April.

MIDDLE-EASTERN CABBIE
What you do to my TAXI-CAB, mother-fucker!

April opens the door, starts to get out.
Turns to him.

APRIL
Guess you won’t be praising Allah today.

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - INTERSECTION - CONTINUOUS
The owner of the Bentley, an IRATE AGENT
races over to April.

Gets in her face.
SHOUTS at her.

IRATE AGENT
You fucking BITCH.
Do you realize HOW MUCH that car COSTS?!
(WHIPS out his Blackberry)
Just wait till the fucking COPS get here.

APRIL
(WHIPS out her ID)
Homeland Security, asshole.
Get out of my fucking face.

IRATE AGENT
(looks at it)
Oh, yeah -- right.
Homeland Security.
What an awful name.
Sounds like an insurance company.
Ooh, I’m scared.

April PUNCHES him in the face, WHAM.
He goes down. She looks around.

Traffic is moving around them.
She pulls out the PDA.
Checks the location.

APRIL
It’s right around the corner.
Fuck it.

And she TAKES OFF on foot, starts RUNNING --

Thirty Minutes Or Less

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of NOWHERE GIRL, our story starts heating up when Bel Air Security agent Renny Quick heads over to the Hollywood Hills mansion where the Al Qaeda sleeper cell is holding the owners hostage. Meanwhile, Homeland Security agent April Street hijacks a cab at gunpoint ... and black ops spook Sledge Crafton dispatches a new assassin to go after stripper with a suitcase nuke Cherry Nation ...


EXT. BELL AIR SECURITY - ENTRANCE - NIGHT
A SECURITY SQUAD CAR pulls out of the building.

INT. SECURITY SQUAD CAR - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
The DRIVER turns to the
SECURITY GUARD sitting next to him.

DRIVER
Weatherman says it’s gonna rain.

SECURITY GUARD
Oh, it’s gonna rain, alright.

Meet RENNY QUICK (30’s).
Big and burly, former Special Forces.
Retired early due to injuries on the job.

RENNY
My knee is fucking killing me.
It’s DEFINITELY gonna rain.

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT
A light RAIN starts falling.

April stands across the street
from the Crazy Horse.

Watching the swarm of COPS,
the ambulance.
A group of GAWKERS.

APRIL
Shit, it’s raining.
I need wheels, pronto.

A YELLOW CAB pulls up to the curb
in front of her.

Two DRUNK PARTY GIRLS spill out.

APRIL (CONT'D)
Ask and ye shall receive.

MESSY PARTY GIRL
(to the cabbie)
Keep the change!

WASTED PARTY GIRL
(tugs on Messy’s arm)
C’mon, let’s GO.
It’s RAINING.

They skitter away down the sidewalk,
laughing. April goes to the cab.

Opens the passenger-side door.
Gets in.

INT. YELLOW CAB - CONTINUOUS
The CABBIE, Middle-Eastern,
sporting a turban and a giant mustache,
turns and looks at her, startled.

MIDDLE-EASTERN CABBIE
I’m soddy, meess, but eye’m on call.
I cannot pick yoo up.

April WHIPS OUT her ID and gun.

APRIL
Federal agent, Homeland Security.
Get in the back seat.

MIDDLE-EASTERN CABBIE
I WILL NOT.
This is RACIAL PROFILING.
I am AMERICAN CITIZEN.

APRIL
This has nothing to do with you, Bollywood.
It’s a matter of national security.
GET IN THE BACK SEAT, NOW.

MIDDLE-EASTERN CABBIE
You cannot DO THIS.
I know my RIGHTS.

April PISTOL-WHIPS him, CRACK.
He goes out like a light.

She GRABS him,
THROWS him in the back seat.
Makes a face.

APRIL
Why does everybody I meet tonight
fucking STINK?

INT. HUMMER - MOVING - NIGHT
A BRUNETTE (20’s) in shades and black leather
is behind the wheel.

Hair back in a sleek ponytail.
Meet WENDON SWIFT, gorgeous,
curvy killing machine.
And Sledge’s new hire.

WENDON
(on her cell)
I’m almost there.
(listens)
Not to worry.
I always deliver.
(listens)
'Thirty minutes or less?'
You flirt. BAD boy.

INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Crafton hangs up.
Raises his cocktail in a toast.

SLEDGE
I always deliver.
(beat)
I think I’m in love.

And he downs it.

Hair Metal Motherfuckers

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of NOWHERE GIRL, fugitive stripper with a suitcase nuke Cherry Nation gets directions from the band Skull Bong to the address in the Hollywood Hills where the Al Qaeda sleeper cell is hiding out so she can deliver 'the package.' Meanwhile, Cherry's ex, CIA agent Shag Holliday desperately races against the clock to try and track down her location ...


INT. GARAGE - NIGHT
Lead Singer stares at Cherry’s gun.
Rapidly sobering up.

LEAD SINGER
Dude. That’s a real gun.

DRUMMER
(to Lead Singer)
Chill, Brody.
She’s not gonna hurt us.
(to Cherry)
Right?

BASS PLAYER
That’s a Sig Sauer, man.
Wicked piece.

CHERRY
Shut up, all of you.
I just need someone to help me find --
(pulls out piece of paper)
1155 Queens Road.
And we need to go, NOW.

BRODY
Wait a minute.
I recognize you --
you’re La Cienega Boulevard.

DRUMMER
SHIT, you’re right.

BASS PLAYER
Who?

BRODY
The porn star, dude --
La Cienega Boulevard.
(to Cherry)
Why’d you retire?
You were THE BEST.
So fucking HOT.

STAN
(to Peeler)
I thought she looked familiar.

CHERRY
(lowers her gun)
I got sick of it.
And I make a lot of money
feature dancing on the road.
I’ll be quitting that soon, too --
if I make it out of this alive.
(raises it)
So which one of you
hair metal motherfuckers
is gonna show us the way?

BRODY
I will. It’s my band.
(beat)
And we’re not 'hair metal,'
we’re DEATH metal.

INT. CORVETTE - MOVING - NIGHT
Shag drives into the heart of the strip,
passes Sunset Plaza.
Talks on his hands-free Bluetooth.

SHAG
She hung up on me.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - CUBICLE - CONTINUOUS
Lark turns away from her laptop.
Touches her headpiece.

LARK
Angry?

SHAG
You might say that.

LARK
You blew your cover.

SHAG
Yeah. It was stupid, I know.
I just --
(looks at the dashboard)
I’m getting close.
I’d love to get some backup.

LARK
You know I can’t do that, Shag.
The boss gave strict orders --
this one’s off-limits.
It’ll raise red flags that go
way beyond me losing my job.
(beat)
Apparently the guy that runs C-6
has A LOT of pull.

SHAG
Then connect me to C-6.

LARK
I don’t have the number.
Black ops? Hello?

SHAG
Lark, give yourself some credit.
You told me you could
gather ANY intel.

LARK
I’ll call you
when I have something.

SHAG
That’s my girl.
(looks out the window)
I’m here. Gotta go.

LARK
Good luck.

SHAG
Yeah, right.
You’ve never met Cherry -