Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Tough Toenails


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, we meet Jool Kapp, upper east side heiress, who right now is imploring her nanny for permission to go downtown to Greenwich Village so she can mix with the 'common people.' Her goal? To check out her first street fair ...


INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - NIGHT
Part of a lux suite of rooms
on an upper floor. Very grand.

Tasteful. Tons of books.
A big, old globe.

Old-school computer with a giant monitor.
A big record library.

Sitting on the bed is JOOL KAPP (17),
Carling’s niece.

Very pretty, but doesn’t work it.
No makeup. Hair in a tomboyish bob.

Smart. Feisty. Strong.
Tons of self-will.

Think a young Kate Hepburn.
With a dash of Ellen Page.

Rakish in slacks,
fitted jacket and boots.

JOOL
But I don’t want to go down there.
I can’t stand those people.
They’re all phonies.
My IQ goes down a point
every minute I’m around them.
All they care about is
money, class, privilege.
They have no conception about
what’s really important in life.

Standing nearby is NIN (40’s),
Jool’s nanny since childhood.

Smart. Sleek. Very Emma Peel.
Jool’s advisor. Confidant.

NIN
But your Uncle Carling
expects you to make an appearance.

JOOL
Tough toenails.
I’m just a trophy to him.
Something to show off.

NIN
Can’t you just humor him?

JOOL
No, I can’t.
I’m a person, Nin -- not a THING.
(off her look)
And I’m tired of being
cooped up in this mausoleum.
I feel trapped.
Like a bird in a gilded cage.
I want to GO OUT.
See the world. Explore.

NIN
Out? Where?
You know the streets aren’t safe.

JOOL
Fiddlesticks. I’m a big girl.
I can take of myself.

NIN
Oh, you can, can you.
And where do you plan on going?

JOOL
Downtown.

NIN
Why on earth would you
want to go downtown?

JOOL
There’s a big Tenth of October
street fair tonight,
totally old-school.
Food, drink, live music,
you know -- a street fair.

NIN
Ah, yes. I’ve read about those --

JOOL
I can take a cab
and have them wait for me.
It’ll totally be safe.
And I won’t stay long. I promise.
I just wanna see
regular people having FUN.
What’s so wrong about that?

NIN
Kind of like -- anthropology.

JOOL
Exactly. So can I go? Please?

NIN
You feel very strongly about this --
(beat)
Go. Have fun.
But be back by eleven, okay?

JOOL
YES. Thank you, Nin. THANK YOU.
(clasps her hands)
Omigod, I’m so excited I could plotz.

NIN
I expect a full report
when you get back.
(beat)
Oh. And don’t forget your gun.

JOOL
Of course not.

She walks over to her desk.
Opens a drawer.

Pulls out a SIG SAUER MOSQUITO.
RACKS out the clip. Checks it.

SHOVES it back in, CHINK.
Puts it her purse.

Looks at Nin.
Smiles brightly.

JOOL
Don’t leave home without it. --

EXT. FIFTH AVENUE - NIGHT
A PEDAL-RICKSHAW CAB cruises
south down Fifth Avenue,
giant mansions.

Airbrushed office buildings.
Tony boutiques.

We see other pedal-cabs,
and also tons of PEOPLE ON BICYCLES.

INT. RICKSHAW CAB - MOVING - NIGHT
Jool looks out the window,
full of anticipation.

THE RICKSHAW CAB
Gets to the border of midtown.
Starts passing through --

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT
Once gentrified, the infamous avenue
has returned to it’s previous squalor.

All of the fancy stores and restaurants
are now home to peep shows,
strip clubs, bars and whore houses.

The Gap sign now reads THE GASH.
We see signs for CRATE AND ASSHOLE.
STARFUCKS. JAMBA COOZE. S&M’S. HOOTERS.

JOOL
Looks out the window.
Silently gasps at the motley crew
of STREET TRASH milling about.

THE RICKSHAW CAB
Continues on downtown.
The streets now lined with
ancient BROWNSTONES.

A STREET VENDOR hawks his wares.
The people look young, hip.

A bohemian kid plays a guitar
on the corner.

JOOL
Smiles. Likes what she sees.

JOOL
He’s cute --

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