Cops With Benefits

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of BLUE HOTEL, Venice Beach dive motel night manager/hippie Bunky Mertz discovers that murderer Gill Sherry is staying at the joint, and calls the cops. Meanwhile, homicide dick Bernie Keko and officer Danette Day 'get busy' ...


INT. THE STARLIGHT HOTEL - FRONT DESK - NIGHT
The Grateful Dead wheezes its gnarled tales
of drugged-out hippie glory
on a shitty boombox.

A tiny, shitty black and white TV
is on the counter with
the sound turned down.

Bunky sits behind the counter
reading one of those
free weekly rags.
mouthing the words.

BUNKY
Fucking Republican asshole
shit-for-brains --

Something on the screen
catches his eye.

BUNKY
Hey, that guy
checked in tonight.

He reaches over,
turns up the volume.

ON THE SCREEN
We see a still of GILL.
Some ‘official school photo.’

He looks happy, relaxed.
Glazed smile oozing preppy charm.

ANNOUNCER (O.C.)
-- wanted for questioning
in connection with the
shooting death of his wife.
If you see this man,
contact your local precinct
immediately.

BUNKY
Holy shit.

He turns the sound back down.
Scratches his chin.

Picks up the phone.
Dials a number.

BUNKY
Hello?
This is Bunky Mertz
over at the Starlight Hotel?
That guy you’re looking for
that killed his wife?
He’s staying here.

INT. VENICE BEACH POLICE SUBSTATION - AT THAT MOMENT
Danette and Bernie sit at a table
the coffee maker.

Sipping java from styrofoam cups.
Kenny sits across the room,
talking on the phone excitedly.

BERNIE
This is really good coffee.
Did you --

DANETTE
I’m still not fucking you, Bernie.

KENNY
Okay, thanks.
(hangs up)
Guys, that was the night manager
of the Hotel Starlight.
The guy who shot his wife
in a little while ago.

BERNIE
You mean Gill Sherry?

KENNY
Yeah, guy said he saw
his picture on the news.

DANETTE
Allegedly killed his wife.
this country, a suspect is
innocent until proven guilty.

BERNIE
Yeah, right -- so why the fuck
did he check into a fleabag hotel?

Danette stares at him.
Simmering. He glares at her.

KENNY
Uh, guys -- don’t you think
we should go over there?

DANETTE
You go on ahead,
question the night manager.
We’ll be right there.

KENNY
Okay --
He salutes, and
DASHES out the door.

Danette sips her coffee.
Bernie the fish-eye.

DANETTE
After my shift,
we’ll go back to my place.

BERNIE
Holy shit.
Really?

DANETTE
C’mon, let’s go.
Before I change my mind.

They get up.
for the door.

BERNIE
Admit it, the chemistry
is still there.

DANETTE
(stops, looks at him)
Calm down, Casanova.
I haven’t gotten laid
in three months.

BERNIE
So what am I, a
‘friend with benefits?’

DANETTE
More like,
‘cop with nightstick.’

BERNIE
So -- you’re just gonna use me.

DANETTE
That’s about the size of it.

BERNIE
(shrugs)
Works for me --