Friday, February 8, 2013

Who's Dick Is Bigger?


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 32 of NOWHERE GIRL, it's a clusterfuck of epic proportions when fugitive stripper Cherry Nation and Homeland Security agent April Street fight off the terrorists ... while Bel Air Security guard Renny Quick tries to disarm the ticking nuke ... while Cherry and April make a shocking discovery about their past ...


INT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Hamad looks at Cherry. At Kamal. Then Renny.

HAMAD
And how am I supposed to believe you?

RENNY
Well, we can go back and forth
like this while the clock is ticking --
or you can take a chance
on saving your fucking lives.
Your choice, Bin Laden.

HAMAD
WHAT did you call me?

RENNY
You heard me, you fucking terrorist.
You think you can just waltz
into our country and buy a NUKE?

HAMAD
It was your CORRUPT GOVERNMENT
that SOLD it to us, IMBECILE.

CHERRY
SHUT UP, both of you.
While you’re playing who’s dick is bigger --
we’re running out of TIME.

EXT. MANSION - FRONT YARD - NIGHT
Peeler sits on the ground.
April looks in the window.

APRIL
I’m going in. You stay put.

PEELER
Sure thing. I’ll just sit here
and watch my life flash before my eyes.

INT. MANSION - LIVING ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Renny opens the case. Studies the bomb.
Scratches his chin.

CHERRY
Well, what are you waiting for?

RENNY
I haven’t done this in -- ten years.

CHERRY
What?

RENNY
Chill out.
It’s all about shutting off the power.
Wiring is wiring.
(beat)
I’m gonna need pliers,
or a pair of scissors,
something like that.

Hamad looks at the guards,
who are now conscious.

HAMAD
You. Go look in the kitchen.

They RACE OFF.

RENNY
(looking at the wiring)
The red and the blue -- or the yellow --

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Homeland Security! Nobody MOVE.

APRIL
Walks into the room.
Automatic weapon trained on Renny.

APRIL
(to Renny)
Put your hands in the air
and step away from the device.

CHERRY
He’s DISARMING the device, bitch.

APRIL
Who you calling a bitch?

HAMAD
(looks at them)
Are you two -- sisters?

KAMAL
They look a lot alike.

RENNY
Will everyone please SHUT UP?
I’m trying to CONCENTRATE here.

Renny pulls out another pair of wires.
Wipes his forehead.

CLOSE ON:
The LCD reads 4:15.

APRIL
(to Cherry)
Where were you born?

CHERRY
In the UK. I was adopted.
My parents moved here I was four.

APRIL
I was adopted when I was four.
(beat)
I had a sister -- but they only took me.

CHERRY
I had a sister, too -- but --

APRIL
Holy SHIT.

CHERRY
Holy SHIT.

APRIL
That explains --

CHERRY
Why we --

APRIL
OMIGOD.

CHERRY
OMIGOD.

APRIL
THAT’S why I hate your guts.

CHERRY
And that’s why I hate YOURS.
(beat)
My sister, the spy.

APRIL
My sister, the --
(appraises her outfit)
Stripper?

CHERRY
Exotic dancer. Soon to be former.

The girls are GRABBED FROM BEHIND.
Saad has Cherry in a choke-hold.

Mohammed THROWS April to the floor.
Straddles her.
Both aims Uzis at their heads.

SAAD
Don’t move or I’LL SHOOT.

MOHAMMED
Go ahead. Give me REASON.

HAMAD
American women TALK TO MUCH.
Take them downstairs and shoot them.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Federal Marshall!
Put your HANDS IN THE AIR!

AN OPERATIVE
In bomb squad gear comes into the room,
assault rifle aloft.

CLOSE ON:
The LCD reads 3:45.

RENNY
Looks at the Fed.

RENNY
Don’t shoot!
This is a nuclear device.

OPERATIVE
Step away from case. NOW.

SAAD
Put your gun down or I shoot THE WOMAN!

MOHAMMED
Put down or we SHOOT!

The Fed SHOOTS Renny.
BANG-BANG-BANG.
He HITS the floor.

CHERRY
Hey!

APRIL
What are you DOING?
He was DISARMING IT.

Two more FEDS in bomb squad gear
BURST IN from the kitchen
and start SHOOTING.

Saad’s and Mohammed’s heads EXPLODE.

LARGE FED
Ladies, outside, NOW.

April and Cherry exchange glances.

CHERRY
What’s going on here?

APRIL
They WANT the nuke to go off?

LARGE FED
I said NOW.

Cherry GRABS the case with the money,
and they start RUNNING.

CLOSE ON:
The LCD reads 2:25 --

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