Smooth Criminal

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of EXIT, crazed gunman Danny Peel holds the group of terrified celebrities hostage at the bar of the after hours club, and then does a strange thing. Not only does he buy them a round of drinks, he engages them in friendly conversation ...

INT. THE EXIT ROOM - EARLY MORNING

Danny aims his shotgun at the group at the bar.

DANNY
Okay, everybody.
We’re gonna be here a little while,
so I want you to get nice and comfortable.
Do exactly what I say and nobody gets hurt.
(off their terrified nods)
Just because I’m covered in blood
and holding a gun doesn’t mean
I’m not a nice guy --
so, in the interest of
all of us getting along,
the next round’s on me.
(to Vin)
Vin?

VIN
Yeah?

DANNY
Can I get some of that cash?

VIN
Yeah. Sure.

He goes to the duffle, zips it open.
Grabs a banded wad of cash
and TOSSES it to Danny.

DANNY
Which one of you is the bartender?

MIA
I am.

DANNY
(SLAPS it down on the bar)
What’s the most expensive scotch you got?

MIA
M-Mcallan’s.

DANNY
I wanna buy a round for the house.

Mia goes behind the bar
to get a bottle and some glasses.

DANNY (CONT'D)
(to Sky)
Hey. You’re that movie star.
You’re in all those independent films.

SKY
Guilty as charged.
(weak smile)
With the occasional studio tentpole.

DANNY
Hey. Gotta pay the bills, right?
(laughs)
I used to wanna be an actor,
but I really like eating.
(looks around)
Whoah, Nelly. This is celeb-city.
(to Easy)
Easy Washington. My man.
Was really sorry to hear about your injury.

EASY
Not as much as I was.

Mia gives Danny his glass.
He takes a sip.

DANNY
Holy shit is that smooth.
(eyes Bettie)
And what do have we here?
Bettie Black. Big fan.
Lost my virginity to your first album.

BETTIE
Really?

DANNY
Nah. Just fuckin’ with you.
I’m more of a classic rock kinda guy.
(sips, looks at Casey)
And who is this lovely creature?

He undresses her with his eyes.
Casey blushes.

CASEY
Nobody.
(beat)
I’m a writer.

BETTIE
Shut up.
(to Danny)
She won the Oscar, hello?

DANNY
Oh, yeah.
The media gave you shit
about all your tattoos.

CASEY
My agent wanted me to
wear a long-sleeved dress,
but I said ‘fuck that.’

DANNY
Rebel outlaw girl.

Danny drains his glass.
Gestures to Mia for another.

DANNY (CONT'D)
You gotta first aid kit in this joint?

ANGEL
We do, yeah.
In the back office.

DANNY
Is there a back entrance?

ANGEL
No.

DANNY
The only way out is the way we came in?

ANGEL
Yeah.

DANNY
Isn’t that against the fire code?

ANGEL
Owner’s tight with the city.

DANNY
You the bouncer?

ANGEL
Yeah.

DANNY
(to Vin)
Vin, go with him to the office
and get the first aid kit
and scope out the rest of the joint.

VIN
(drains his glass)
You got it.

He gets up. Nods at Angel.
They head off toward the back.

Danny sips his drink.
Looks at Mickey.

DANNY
What’s your story?

MICKEY
I’m a dealer.

DANNY
Check it out.
Not afraid to admit it.
I like that.

MICKEY
Thanks.

DANNY
What do you deal?

MICKEY
You name it.
Weed, X, coke, shrooms, meth, xanax, oxy --

DANNY
Are you holding?

MICKEY
I’ve got a little blow on me.

DANNY
We might need some of that later.
(off his look)
Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it.
I may be a fugitive from the law,
but I don’t steal from other criminals
unless they fuck with me.

MICKEY
That’s -- great.

DANNY
Are you a top or a bottom?

MICKEY
Excuse me?

DANNY
You heard me.
Do you pitch or catch?

MICKEY
I’m -- versatile.

DANNY
I’ll keep that under advisement.

MICKEY
Okay --

DANNY
Relax. Just fucking with you.
(looks around)
C’mon, everybody.
Stop looking like the dog just died.
Let’s PARTY.
(to Mia)
Barkeep. Another round for my friends --