Hell-Hole

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of HIT & RUN HOLIDAY, unemployed screenwriter Friday Foster has just lost everything and is having a nervous breakdown and stolen a pizza delivery car. Her first stop? To get revenge on her most recent 'boss from hell.' Meanwhile, Bland Loosener, mercenary for the Israeli mob, the owner of the car, is hot on her tail ...


EXT. THE LAMBERT INSTITUTE - GARAGE ENTRANCE - DAY
Friday drives the stolen Sentra down into the underground garage.

EXT./INT. MERCEDES SUV - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Bland drives, talks on his hands-free cell.

BLAND
So where is it now?

SPLIT SCREEN WITH:

INT. MARINA DEL REY - BEACH CONDO - DAY
Zvi sits on the rooftop deck shirtless
in shorts and shades. Smoking a cigar.
Fingers busy working a PDA.

ZVI
(into his cell)
At the corner of Arizona and Fourth.
Just turned north on Fourth --
(beat)
Wait. It stopped moving. Bingo.

BLAND
(looking out his window)
I don’t see it. It must be parking --
(realizes)
Parking garage.

INT. LAMBERT INSTITUTE - PARKING GARAGE - AT THAT MOMENT
Friday walks to the elevator. Presses ‘up.’

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Friday. What are you doing here?

She turns, looks, sees --

SUNNY, the Institute’s archivist.
Friendly face framed by long, greyish-blonde hair.
Former hippie, still granola.

FRIDAY
Sunny, hey. Believe it or not,
I’ve got an appointment with Dann Israel.

The elevator doors open. They walk in.
Sunny swipes her key card on the security lock,
presses ‘3.’ The doors close.

IN THE GARAGE
Bland pulls the SUV into a parking space.
Sees the Sentra.

BLAND
Enemy is now in my sights, SIR.
Taking POSITION --

IN THE ELEVATOR

SUNNY
And one of your characters is a
Nobel Prize-winning Ph.D. in economics?

FRIDAY
How did you guess?

The door opens onto a wood-panelled foyer.
Very hunting lodge. Going for studious. Academic.

FRIDAY (CONT’D)
You know what they say about
visiting your old high school,
how everything looks so much smaller?

SUNNY
Yes.

FRIDAY
Urban myth.
This looks even MORE self-important.

They start walking down a plush corridor.
Diffused light.

SUNNY
Well, I gotta say,
I admire your courage.

FRIDAY
My courage?

SUNNY
Sure. After quitting like that?

INT. LAMBERT INSTITUTE - WORK STATION - FLASHBACK - DAY
Friday sits in an assistant’s work area.
Harried. Almost unrecognizable in a suit.
Papers piled everywhere.

She gulps coffee.
The phone RINGS.
She PUNCHES a button.

FRIDAY
Dann Israel’s office.
(listens)
'Blachmed Vpni?' Can you spell that?
(listens)
Hold, please.

Another line RINGS.

FRIDAY (CONT’D)
Dann Israel’s office.
(impatient)
'Oaxa Stanislopopobottomus?'
Would you please spell that?
Over the intercom --

ACCENTED MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Friday? Who is that on one?

FRIDAY
Uh, Blachmed --

A fourth line RINGS.

FRIDAY (CONT’D)
Hold on a sec --
(pissy)
Dann Israel's office --
(listens)
'Helmut Fvohngenhoftner?'

She does a take. What?
Erupts into MAD LAUGHTER.

ACCENTED MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Friday. WHO is on the phone!

FRIDAY
There’s an Arab name Blachmed on one,
‘Oaxa the Greek’ on two, and a German,
Helmut Farfegnugen on three.

ACCENTED MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Which Blachmed? I know three --

Another line RINGS.

FRIDAY
And if they walked into a bar,
I could use it in my stand-up routine.
(answers)
Dann Israel’s office.
(listens)
I’ll be right down.
(over her shoulder)
Your lunch is here, Dann.

DANN (O.C.)
Well, then, go get it.
And when you get back,
we need to go over the schedule grid
for the global conference.
We still have twenty-four meetings to set up.

Friday stands.
Unhooks her headset.
THROWS it down.

FRIDAY
(brightly)
Can’t wait.

IN THE LOBBY
she walks up to the guard desk.
Standing next to it is an EAGER VEGAN CHEF.
Holds a stainless steel food container.

FRIDAY (CONT'D)
Autumn. Nice to see you.

AUTUMN
Friday. Greetings.
(gestures)
We have steamed cale
in a wheat grass reduction,
lentils in a brisk tofu stir,
and a brussels sprout compote.

BULKY GUARD
Mmmmm. Yummy.

FRIDAY
Took the words out of my mouth.
And the puke.

She turns on her heel.
Marches toward the entrance.

AUTUMN
Where are you going?
What about Mr. Israel’s lunch?

FRIDAY
(stops, turns)
The fuck OUT of this hell-hole.
And you can tell Mr. Pulitzer Prize
he can get his OWN fucking lunch.
(beat)
'Brisk tofu stir?'