Blood Gets In Your Eyes

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 11 of THE DISH, B-movie startlet Haven Crayce and her illicit lesbian lover Jett Targo examine Haven's husband Dart after his bathtub accident to make sure he's okay ...


INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - GALLEY ENTRANCE - DAY
Jett follows Haven onto the boat.

JETT
You can’t tell anyone else about us.
If we’re going to -- do this,
nobody can know we’re --
(a whisper)
In a relationship.

HAVEN
You’re right.
I’m sorry, I wasn’t --
(realizes)
Did you say we’re -- in a relationship?

Jett takes Haven’s hand.
Holds it to her heart.

JETT
You make me feel something
I’ve never felt before, Haven.
For the first time
in my life, I feel ALIVE.
Like I can do anything.
Be anyone. Go anywhere.

HAVEN
I’m with you, baby.
(beat)
Straight down the line.

INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - DART’S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Jett and Haven kneel
at the side of the bed.

Watch Dart.
Sleeping peacefully.

JETT
We should wake him.

HAVEN
What should I tell him about you?

JETT
That I’m your personal trainer,
and I know alot about --

Dart’s eyes OPEN. Groggy.

DART
(to Jett)
Who the fuck are you?

HAVEN
This is my trainer, Dart.
She heard what happened,
and wanted to take a look at you,
see if you’re okay --

JETT
Hello, Mr. Crayce.
I’m a big fan.

DART
Trainer? You hired a trainer?
I’m not going to pay for --

JETT
I’m not charging her, Mr. Crayce.
We met walking our dogs.
Haven told me about
having chronic back pain,
and I offered to show her
an exercise routine that would help.

DART
Out of the goodness of your heart.

JETT
Well, sir -- it’s what I do.
I was raised in a good, Christian family,
and I was taught to do unto others --

DART
You said you’re a fan of mine?

JETT
Oh, yeah -- I’m a big movie buff.

DART
What’s your favorite film of mine?

JETT
Blood Gets In Your Eyes.
Bogart and Stanwyck,
together for the first time.
Perfect film.
(beat)
Is it true that the original leads
were Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyatt?

DART
Why, yes -- but, how did you -- ?

JETT
Robert Osbourne.
Turner Movie Classics.
Never miss it.

DART
That Bobby Osbourne.
What a little rascal.
I owe him a lunch.

HAVEN
How are you feeling?
How’s your head?

DART
My head is fine.
It’s my ass that’s killing me.

JETT
No blurry vision?
Heart palpitations?

DART
I’m just fine, young lady.
Now, if you’ll excuse us,
it’s almost time for my dialysis,
and my --

Dart looks at Haven.
A lewd grin.

HAVEN
Physical therapy.

PUSH IN ON Jett. Horrified.

Bound For Pleasure

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of THE DISH, when retired film director Dart Crayce has an accident in the bathroom, his B-movie starlet wife Haven races to get help from her lesbian lover Jett Targo, who's in the middle of weight training a client ...


INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - MASTER BATHROOM - MORNING
Dart Crayce is in the bathtub.
Bony ass toward us.

He pulls himself up, hanging onto
a chrome handle bolted into the tiles --
which COMES LOOSE with a CRUNCH --

DART
What the -- ?

And he SLIPS!
BANG, he goes down.

CRACKS his head.
BANGS his ass on the cold,
hard porcelain.

HAVEN (O.C.)
Dart, honey?
You okay in there?
We don’t want you to --

She walks in.

HAVEN
Shrivel into a prune --

Sees him. SCREAMS.

HAVEN
Dart!

Races over.
Puts her arms around him.

HAVEN
Honey, are you okay? Dart?
Can you hear me? Honey?

EXT. MARINA PENINSULA - OCEAN BOARDWALK - DAY
Jett trains a FAT, SWEATING
VENTURE CAPITALIST (30’s),
a pair of ten-pound
free-weights in his hands.

He raises the right,
then the left.

Rearranging the deck chairs
on the Titanic.

FAT, SWEATING VENTURE CAPITALIST
-- and I closed at five-point-four million.
He didn’t know what the fuck hit him.
Got the cocksucker right where it hurts.
Bang, zoom -- right to the moon, Alice.

JETT
Okay. Let’s do some squats.

Haven appears, with Buster.
Amazing in a bikini top.

Denim Mini.
Six-inch wedgies.
Freaked behind heart-shaped shades.

HAVEN
Jett, I need to talk to you.

JETT
What’s wrong?

Fat’s cell phone RINGS.

FAT, SWEATING VENTURE CAPITALIST
(to Jett)
Hold on a sec, I gotta take this --
(into the phone)
It went down HOW MUCH?

He waddles away, out of ear shot.
Waving his arms madly.

HAVEN
Dart fell in the bathtub.
Banged his head.

JETT
Why didn’t you call me?

HAVEN
I don’t have your number.

JETT
Did you call 911?

HAVEN
He wouldn’t let me.
He doesn’t like doctors.

JETT
But -- is he okay?

HAVEN
Oh, sure. Three Advils,
couple a hits off one of his
Bobby Mitchum joints,
and he’s sleeping like a baby.

JETT
But he might have a concussion.
Maybe we should call his doctor.

HAVEN
Are you kidding?
He might have to go to the hospital,
and then we’re FUCKED.
He might not ever come back!

JETT
But if he has a concussion,
and he’s sleeping --

HAVEN
Oh, shit.

JETT
Oh, shit is right.
C’mon, let’s go --

They start walking away.
Fat ambles over.

FAT, SWEATING VENTURE CAPITALIST
Hey, where are you going?
What about the rest of my workout?

JETT
Sorry, uh -- family emergency.
We gotta end early today.
Go home and do thirty minutes
on the Stairmaster.
I’ll see you on Wednesday.

FAT, SWEATING VENTURE CAPITALIST
Okay, sure.
(looks at Haven)
Hey. Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?
Are you an actress?

HAVEN
Why, yes I am.
What did you see me in?
Wishcraft IV?
Spring Break Babylon?

FAT, SWEATING VENTURE CAPITALIST
No --
(SNAPS his fingers)
That’s it.
Bound for Pleasure.
Bondage flick.

HAVEN
As if. Pervert.
(to Jett)
Come on, honey.
Let’s go back to my place --
and do naughty things.

JETT
(whispers)
Haven.

FAT, SWEATING VENTURE CAPITALIST
You two are -- ?

HAVEN
(laughs, evil)
That’s right.
And no, you can’t watch.
So why don’t you go home, jerk off
and think about what I’m going
to do to your TRAINER.

PUSH IN ON Fat, Sweating.
Beady eyes flickering.

A Simple Plan

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of THE DISH, B-movie starlet Haven Crayce and her lesbian lover Jett Targo make a pact to kill Haven's husband Dart and run off together with his life savings ...


INT. HOUSEBOAT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Jett goes to the bar.
Looks at the framed pictures of Dart
with various Hollywood stars of old.

DART AND CARY GRANT
playing golf.
Cary and GRACE KELLY watch him put.

WITH JANE GREER
directing her and Robert Mitchum.
She’s behind the wheel
of a big Cadillac.

He’s got a gun.
They’re all laughing.

DART AND FRANK SINATRA
at a swanky nightclub in Vegas
with Dean, Sammy, Joey and Peter.

Watching him blow out
birthday candles on a big cake.

IN DART’S BEDROOM
he lies in bed, eyes closed.

Haven’s arm is under the covers,
slowly going up and down.
Her face a dark storm cloud.

IN THE MAIN CABIN
Jett goes to a cabinet.
Opens a door, revealing --

An OSCAR. Best Director.
Coated with a thin layer of dust.

She gingerly picks it up.
Blows on it. Raises it up.

Does an arm curl. Stops.
Looks at her reflection in the glass.

JETT
(softly)
I’d like to thank the Academy --

HAVEN (O.C.)
Thank god you’re still here.

Jett quickly puts the Oscar back,
embarrassed.

JETT
Sorry, I --

HAVEN
You know how many
times I’ve wanted to
smash him over the head
with that goddamn Oscar?

JETT
(scared)
You shouldn’t --
say things like that.

HAVEN
You shouldn’t do a lot of things, Jett.
But it’s all I can think about.
I have to get out of here.
I’m going insane.
(goes to Jett, grabs her)
He’s rich, Jett.
Filthy, stinking rich.
Think about what you and I
could do with all that money.
Go away somewhere.
Start a new life.
Be together. Be happy.
(tears in her eyes)
I haven’t been happy
in a long time, Jett.
And then I met you.
And then everything started
to fall into place.
I could see daylight
after so much darkness.
(a sob)
So much darkness --

Haven buries her face
in Jett’s chest. Softly sobs.

Jett comforts her.
Looks around the room.
Clearly confused.

JETT
So -- how much is he worth?

HAVEN
(pulls away, excited)
Then you’ll do it?

JETT
How much?

HAVEN
A few million.
He’s got about --
eight hundred thousand in the bank.

JETT
Eight hundred thousand?

HAVEN
So you’ll do it?

JETT
I need to -- think about it.

But Haven won’t take
no for an answer.

She slides off her top.
Presses her chest against Jett’s.
Sucks on her ear.

HAVEN
Please, Jett.
I need you.
Don’t you want to be with me?

JETT
(swimming)
Y-yes -- I do --

HAVEN
(kisses her neck)
Aren’t you tired of training
fat, rich, yuppie assholes?

JETT
God, yes.

Haven’s hand slides down
to Jett’s zipper.
Slowly rubs it.

HAVEN
And do you want me to keep
JERKING OFF the sonofabitch?
EVERY DAY?

JETT
(delirious)
Of course not!

HAVEN
Then will you do it? For me?
(beat)
For us?

JETT
(closes her yes)
I’ll do it.
(beat)
I’ll do it.

Haven SQUEEZES Jett, embraces her.

HAVEN
Ohmigod, YES.
Thank you, baby. Thank you.

JETT
But it has to be perfect.
We have to plan this carefully.
Everything is at stake.
One little mistake --

HAVEN
We’ll be careful.

JETT
(realizes, looks at watch)
Oh, shit -- I’ve got another client.
I’m going to be LATE.

HAVEN
(kisses Jett)
Then go, baby.
I’ll see you -- tomorrow?

JETT
(smiles)
Tomorrow.
(goes to the door)
We’re -- really doing this.

HAVEN
(eyes flashing)
Together.

Jett smiles. Turns.

JETT
Together.

And she’s gone.

The Love Boat

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of THE DISH, after making love, Haven reveals to Jett that her husband keeps her a virtual prisoner on the houseboat, and that she'd like to kill him ...


INT. HOUSEBOAT - DART’S BEDROOM - DAY
He lies in bed.
Breakfast tray on his lap.
Watching TV.

ON THE SCREEN
we see a biography of Humphrey Bogart.

ROBERT OSBOURNE (O.C.)
Bogart got his big break on High Sierra,
co-starring Ida Lupino.
It was in this picture that Bogart,
playing an escaped convict,
was able to show his soft side,
when he takes a shine to a crippled girl,
and pays for an operation that will --

IN THE MAIN CABIN
Jett and Haven lie on the couch.
In each other’s arms.

HAVEN
I’m sorry that was so fast.
I haven’t --
(beat)
Made love in a while.

JETT
How -- long?

Haven BURSTS into tears.
Hangs onto Jett for dear life.

JETT
(puts arms around her)
Hey, now -- it’s okay.
I’m sorry I asked.
It’s none of my business.

Haven JERKS away.
Eyes full of fury.

HAVEN
We haven’t had sex in FOUR YEARS,
since his diabetes got worse
and we moved onto this fucking BOAT.
I was his nurse, see --
and then he married me.
I thought it would help my acting career --
but then he got sick, and, and --
it got all FUCKED UP.

JETT
I know all about that.
Sometimes you have to do
whatever it takes to
get what you want.
But sometimes it just --
doesn’t work out.
(beat)
And then you’re fucked.

Haven stares at her. Blinking.

HAVEN
EXACTLY.
And now he treats me like shit,
orders me around,
won’t let me have any friends,
won’t let me LEAVE.
Everything is delivered.
I can only go out to walk the dog.
I’m a fucking PRISONER.
I’m SUFFOCATING, and I can’t
TAKE IT anymore.
(low, urgent)
I wish he would DIE.

JETT
Shhh.
You shouldn’t talk like that.

The bell RING-RING-RINGS.

HAVEN
(looks at her watch)
Shit, it’s time.

JETT
Go see what he wants.
I’ll wait here.

HAVEN
(slowly gets up, stands)
I know what he wants.
(beat)
It’s time for his -- hand job.

JETT
His what?

HAVEN
Right before we start
the dialysis machine,
I have to jerk him off,
so he’ll fall asleep.
He says it relaxes him.
(beat)
Fucking Viagra.

JETT
Every day?
How old IS he?
Haven goes to the door.

HAVEN
Too old to live.
(beat)
Don’t go?
(off Jett’s nod)
Think about what I said --
(scowling)
And think about what
I have to go do right now.

And she’s gone.

PUSH IN ON Jett’s face.
Scared to death.

Like A Virgin

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of THE DISH, personal trainer Jett Targo guides B-movie starlet Haven Crayce through her first workout on the deck of her houseboat, which she really loves -- and so Nola Bliss, her little person neighbor who watches them through binoculars ... but things get really interesting when sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz stops by ...


EXT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - ROOF DECK - MOMENTS LATER
A roof deck outside the bedroom doors.
With an old, oak hot tub.

Steam rises from the bubbling black water.
Haven steps in. Her perfect, naked body
listening in the moonlight.

HAVEN
(lowers herself in)
Ahhh --

She angles her waist at
one of the jets of water.
Lowers a bit.

Finds the right spot.
Arches her back, a cat in heat.

Closes her eyes.
Bites her lip. Shudders.

HAVEN
Sweet mother of Jesus --

IN JETT’S BEDROOM
She climaxes quietly.
Earth-shattering spasms of pleasure.

IN THE HOT TUB
Haven reaches a shuddering crescendo.

EXT. NEARBY HOUSEBOAT - ROOF DECK
In the moonlight we can see a female
LITTLE PERSON looking at the
Crayce boat through binoculars.
Sipping a can of beer.

Meet NOLA BLISS (30), four-foot-tall
elfin star of stage and screen.

A blue-eyed redhead.
And a nosy, foul-mouthed party girl.

She lowers the binoculars.
Lights a smoke.

NOLA
What a fucking waste.

EXT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - REAR DECK - DAY
A brilliant, blindingly gorgeous
morning on the marina.

A workout machine has been set up.
The kind that can be adjusted so
someone can pull weights
from different angles.

Right now Haven is sitting on the seat,
pulling the handles out,
away from her chest.
The weights CLANK-CLANK.

HAVEN
This feels SO GOOD -- I LOVE IT.

The handles go back in.
Haven PULLS OUT on them again.

JETT
(touches Haven’s shoulder)
That’s because we’re opening up
your chest muscles.

After years of being clenched tight,
bent over -- that’s why it feels so good.
(showing off a bit)
We’re doing low weight, lots of reps.
We don’t want any bulk,
just a nice definition.

Haven stops.
Looks at Jett’s hand.
Then down at her chest.

HAVEN
Do you think I have a -- nice definition?

JETT
(pulls hand away)
Uh, yeah.
(looks at watch)
Let’s stretch you out.

HAVEN
I like the sound of that.

Jett lays down a towel.
Haven gets off the machine.

Lies down on her back.
Looks up at Jett.

HAVEN
Promise you’ll be gentle?

JETT
(trying to contain herself)
Of course.

Jett kneels. Takes Haven’s foot,
places it on her shoulder.

A gold anklet glistens in the sunlight.
Jett stares it.

HAVEN
Like my anklet?

JETT
It’s -- nice.

HAVEN
Ever see Double Indemnity?

JETT
Sure.
(tries to compose herself)
Okay, just relax.
I’ll go slowly --

Jett carefully raises Haven’s glorious,
gleaming leg, until she hears
her give out a little moan.

JETT
That’s good, that’s good.
Just breath into it --

A horn HONKS. Haven looks, sees --

TRIMMER WALTZ
in his Sheriff’s boat.
Right nearby. He waves.

HAVEN
Deputy Waltz.

TRIMMER
(big smile)
Please, I told you -- call me Trimmer,
all my friends do. Who’s your chum?

HAVEN
This is Jett.
She’s my personal trainer.

JETT
Hello, officer.

TRIMMER
Hey, there.
Not TOO personal, I hope.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Haven stares. Eyes burning
with barely disguised contempt.

TRIMMER
How’s your husband doing these days?
He feeling okay?

HAVEN
Just peachy.
Eight hours of dialysis,
and he’s fit as a fiddle.

TRIMMER
He’s awfully lucky to have
a gal like you look after him.

The radio SQUAWKS.
Trimmer gets it. Listens.

TRIMMER (CONT’D)
Copy that, I’m on my way -- Roger and out.
(shakes his head)
Got trouble on one of the luxury yachts.
Yuppie bastard set the galley on fire.
See you later, Haven.

And he cruises away with a ROAR of his engine.

HAVEN
Goodbye, asshole.

JETT
He likes you.

HAVEN
Well, I don’t like him.
(a whisper)
I like -- you.

Jett blushes.
Haven gets closer.
Their bodies touch.

HAVEN
Do you -- like me?

JETT
Like you -- how?

HAVEN
Like this --

Haven softly kisses her.
Pulls back. Surveys the damage.

JETT
(hoarse whisper)
Like that --

Jett kisses back.
They melt into each other.

Jett’s hands stroke Haven’s curves,
slowly, carefully. Like a virgin.

HAVEN
(quiet)
You make me -- shiver.

And their passion takes off
like a blowtorch to dry kindling.

Hands, arms, lips everywhere
in a tornado of sin.

Haven STOPS. Looks around.
Grabs Jett’s hand --

HAVEN
Not out here.
Come with me.

And pulls her inside the boat.

ON THE BOAT NEXT DOOR
Nola watches with binoculars
through her main window.

She lowers them.
Shakes her head. Wow.

NOLA
The little minx --

Straight Down The Line

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of THE DISH, Rush hangs out at the beach in his car doing coke outside Jett's apartment building, Jett gets busy with a vibrator in bed, Haven watches DOUBLE INDEMNITY in her houseboat, and we meet marina sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz, gliding by Haven's window in his boat ...


EXT. VOYAGE STREET - MOMENTS LATER
An ancient, ruined VW bug.
Engine idling.
Facing the beach.

INSIDE THE CAR
we see Rush.

SNARFING up a big,
fat line off the dashboard.

He SHAKES his head.
Takes a drag of his smoke.
Shudders.

INT. JETT’S APARTMENT - AT THAT MOMENT
Jett lies in bed
in a white tank top.

Opens a drawer
on the bedside table.

Takes out a vibrator.
Leans back.
Flicks it on.

It disappears under the sheets.
She closes her eyes.

EXT. MARINA - NIGHT
A SHERIFF’S PATROL BOAT
skims across the water soundlessly.

At the wheel is deputy
TRIMMER WALTZ (28).

Fit. Clean-cut.
Impossibly good-looking.

With a bright gleam
in his eye.

Either brilliant or demented.
Maybe a combination of the two.

The skiff glides by the houseboat.
Trimmer hears the film.

TRIMMER
Every night with the old movies.
(toasts with a flask)
Someday, Haven -- I’m going
to rescue you from
that watery prison.

And he takes a drink to that.

INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - DART’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Dart is fast asleep.
Mouth open, like a child.

Haven watches the end
credits go by. Thunderstruck.

HAVEN
(quoting dialog)
Straight down the line.

PUSH IN ON Haven’s face.
Thinking.

HAVEN
Ankle bracelet --

American Tweaker

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 5 of THE DISH, drugged-out meth addict Rush Madder pays an unwanted visit to Jett, who blocks him from entering her apartment building. Meanwhile, B-movie starlet Haven Crayce and her retired film director husband Dart settle in for a home screening of DOUBLE INDEMNITY ...


EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
An old apartment building between
two three-million dollar homes.

On the cheap side of the
Grand Canal’s Silver Strand.

Jett stands on the front stoop.
Fishes out her keys.

Unlocks the door.
Starts to push it open, when --

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Where have you been?
I’ve been waiting for over an hour.

Jett WHIPS AROUND to see --

RUSH MADDER (25). Blonde. Ghostly.
Jittery. Bloodshot eyes.

Pierced eyebrows.
Skinny black jeans.

The all-American tweaker.
With that never-scrubbed
‘up for three days’ look.

JETT
Rush. What are you doing here?

RUSH
(wipes his nose)
I thought we could hang out.

JETT
It’s over, Rush.
I told you.
I don’t want to see you anymore.
(starts to push the door closed)
I’m sorry, goodbye.

Rush GRABS the door.
Eyes flashing.
Menacing sneer.

RUSH
Don’t close the fucking door on me!
I drove all the way
from Long Beach to see you,
and this is the thanks I get?
(beat)
I brought you a gift.
Check it out.

He pulls out a glass vial.
Holds it up. Sickly smile.

Jett SLAMS the door on Rush’s foot.
He SCREAMS in pain.

RUSH
OW, Fuck! That HURT --

Jett KICKS Rush’s foot out.
BANGS the door closed. LOCKS it.

JETT
(through the glass window)
I asked you to stay AWAY from me,
and I tried to be NICE about it,
but OBVIOUSLY that
doesn’t WORK with you.
I don’t want to SEE YOU anymore.
STAY AWAY from me.

RUSH
What did I do?
I never did anything to hurt you.
C’mon, Jett -- please.

JETT
GO AWAY!

She turns on her heel
and races up the stairs,
two at a time.

INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - AT THAT MOMENT
Dart is propped up in bed.
Natty in a smoking jacket and ascot.

Haven sits in a chair by the bed,
resplendent in a fancy gown.

But no red carpet.
Just thick, brown shag.

DART
I can’t believe you’ve never seen it.

HAVEN
So I’m seeing it now.

DART
Shhh.

ON THE SCREEN
we see titles: DOUBLE INDEMNITY.

DART (O.C.) (CONT'D)
Listen to that score.
They don’t compose ‘em
like that any more --