Monday, September 2, 2019
Scene Of The Crime
Hey there, crime kids. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 15 of Frankenstein In Love, the local news reports on the sudden, horrifying death of head cheerleader and Pumpkin Queen Shayla Petrie ...
INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
CAMERA pans across a row of lockers.
Stops at one. Candles, flowers and
pictures of Shayla surround it.
A banner reads REST IN PEACE,
SHAYLA above a teddy bear.
A delicate, feminine hand
adds a BOUQUET OF ROSES.
INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY
GRAPHICS FLY across the screen:
NEWS FOUR AT YOUR DOOR.
We see a PERT, FADED BLONDE ANCHORWOMAN
and a CHIPPER, DULL-LOOKING BLACK ANCHORMAN
seated at the news desk fake-chatting
with each other. Shuffling papers.
News Four AT YOUR DOOR.
With Candy Sprinkle --
Candy looks up. Gives a slight nod.
And Kip Cartwheel.
Kip nods. Smiles briefly.
Cocks an eyebrow.
CAMERA ZOOMS IN on Candy.
Eyes bright with emotion.
Welcome to News Four At Your Door.
Our top story tonight,
little Shayla Petrie,
a senior at Venison High,
who was killed in a
hit and run accident last night.
She stops. Tries to continue,
chokes back a muffled sob.
Kip sees this, nods,
looks into the camera.
Police have started a county-wide search
for the body of the missing teen,
who was captain of the cheerleading squad,
and was crowned Miss Pumpkin at
last year’s Harvest Festival.
Candy shakes her head.
Recovers her composure.
Law enforcement officials won’t divulge
any details about their investigation,
and are still combing the
scene of the crime for clues.
We take you now to investigate
reporter Del Dunn, at the crime scene.
EXT. OLD COUNTRY ROAD - CRIME SCENE - DAY
DEL DUNN (30’s), tall, thin, striking
with a brunette bob stands by the
side of the road in a short,
tight suit holding a mike.
She looks into the camera.
Eyes flashing. Nods.
So, Del. What’s the skinny?
Have you rooted out any intel for us yet?
Indeed, Kip. Although Venison’s finest
haven’t given me squat, this investigative
reporter has been sniffing out clues
like Andy Dick at a pharmacy.
That’s quite the colorful metaphor, Del.
So spill it. What did you find out?
Well, this hasn’t been confirmed yet,
but police haven’t ruled out her
boyfriend Willis Grub as a suspect.
Willis Grubb? That ne'er do well?
I thought she was dating
the football captain, Brent Brock.
Sometimes the heart wants
what the heart wants, Kip.
And even if you’re popular,
it can take you to a dark place.
This is Del Dunn, coming to you
live at Old Country Road
on the outskirts of Venison, Ohio
in the heart of small town America.
Thanks, Del. Quaint much?
Next up, Delores DeVore has some
zesty recipes that’ll be sure to
spice up your next tailgate party --