Monday, August 19, 2019

A Little Local Color


Hey there, crime kids. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of Frankenstein In Love, Vita gets her new 'sexy' outfit in the mail, and gets humiliated by her mother who realizes she wants wear it to try and seduce Frankie. Meanwhile, local small-town deputy Chet Beverage convinces big-city CDC agent Beck Driver to help on her investigation into the dead rat that Frankie brought back to life ...


INT. VITA’S HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT
Vita comes in the front door.
Closes it. Looks tired. Beat.

PEGGY (O.C.)
Is that you, honey?

VITA
Hi, Mom.

Peggy appears. Holding a pop tart.
She takes a bite.

PEGGY
(mouth full of food)
How was Math Club?

VITA
A fraction of what it used to be.

PEGGY
(SPRAYS out food)
Oh, that’s FUNNY.
(wipes mouth with the back of her hand)
Your FedEx package arrived.

VITA
Oh, wow. Where did --

PEGGY
(takes another bite)
I put it on your bed. What did you get?
(beat)
If you don’t mind my asking.

VITA
Just some -- stuff.

PEGGY
(chewing)
Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.

VITA
(sighs)
Some -- pants -- and a top. And some boots.

PEGGY
(SPRAYS food out her mouth)
You bought an OUTFIT?
Looks like my little tomboy is g
etting in touch with her feminine side --
(off her stare, excited)
It’s Frankie Stein, isn’t it.
He finally asked you out.
(off her stare)
Oh, I’m sorry.
I’m butting in again.
You go on upstairs.
Dinner’ll be ready in
about half-an-hour. Okay?

She takes another big bite of pop tart.
Talks, mouth full.

PUSH IN ON Vita’s face.
Beyond humiliated.

VITA
Sure thing, mom. Can’t wait.

EXT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS - PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Beck walks briskly to her rental car.
Presses the key chain auto-lock, THWIP.
Chet appears out of nowhere.

CHET
Ms. Driver -- ?

BECK
Jesus fucking CHRIST.
You scared the shit out of me.

CHET
Sorry about that.

BECK
What do you want?
I’m tired and I just want to go
back to my bland, suburban hotel room,
get drunk and watch some porn.

Chet stares. Wow.
A real ‘big city’ girl.

CHET
I just wanted to -- offer my services.

BECK
Sorry, doll -- hate to burst
your drool-bubble,
but you’re not my type.

CHET
Gosh, no -- I didn’t mean THAT.
I meant with the investigation.

BECK
Thanks, but no thanks. I work alone.
(off his look)
No hard feelings, okay, champ?
I’m sure you need to go patrol the diner,
the pool hall -- maybe check on the sock hop.

CHET
Listen, lady -- I don’t know what’s
got your dander up, but I was
just trying to be helpful.
(beat)
Small town folks won’t take too kindly
to a big-city government agent
snooping around askin’ a lot questions.
(off her look)
Unless they have a little local color with ‘em.

Pause.

BECK
Okay. Tell you what.
Meet me here tomorrow morning at nine-sharp.
But let ME do all the talking, capiche?

CHET
(beaming)
Sure thing. Thanks. You won’t regret it.
You’ll see. We’ll make a great team.

BECK
(rolls her eyes)
I have no doubt about that.

CHET
You got it. My pleasure.

BECK
Oh. One more thing.

CHET
Sure.

BECK
What the fuck’s a ‘dander?’

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