Friday, March 8, 2019

The Cheap Seats


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of RIDGEWAY, Vivi's underaged daughter Dee Ann discovers she's pregnant, and tells her n'er do well boyfriend Jacob the bad news, but when Vivi walks in and tells her she's made lunch, she chickens out and clams up ...


EXT. TIDWELL HOUSE - DAY
A plain, seventies-era ranch house
on the wrong side of the tracks,
which in this case is a creek.

Not in the historic district.
The cheap seats, if you will.

Various ceramic garden gnomes,
turtles and frogs dot the front lawn,
revealing the occupants’
total lack of taste.

An old, faded RED PICKUP TRUCK drives by.
Four TEENAGE KIDS sit in the flatbed,
excited to be going who knows where.

INT. TIDWELL HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
A shiny suburban kitchen,
stuffed with shitty bric a brac.

Right now, Vivi’s cleaning the joint,
and the grimace on her mug
could strip the paint off an outhouse.

IN THE BATHROOM

Her daughter DEE ANNE (20),
pudgy with frosted mall hair
and vacant eyes sits on the toilet
with a home pregnancy test,
on the cusp of becoming
the cliche she already is.

DEE ANNE
Shit.

IN HER BEDROOM

JACOB KRUNK(20), dark-haired,
good looking on a budget,
lounges on the bed with a
car magazine and an energy drink.

In a case of life imitating advertising,
his T-shirt sports the drink’s logo.

Indeed, this mouth-breather makes
a great case for selective breeding.

Dee Anne comes in.
Softly closes the door.

JACOB
Hey.
(beat)
What’s wrong?

DEE ANNE
I’m pregnant.

JACOB
What?

DEE ANNE
I’m pregnant.

JACOB
Oh.

DEE ANNE
Don’t look so happy about it.

JACOB
I’m sorry. I’m just --
(beat)
How did it happen?

DEE ANNE
What do you mean ‘how did it happen?’

JACOB
I just meant --
(beat)
I mean, I pull out, you know?

DEE ANNE
Well, I guess you stayed in a
little too long one time, didn’t you.

JACOB
I’m sorry.

DEE ANNE
My mom’ll help out, right?

JACOB
Yeah, sure. Sure she will.

A soft knock-knock-knock on the door.

DEE ANNE
It’s open.

Vivi walks in carrying an
open can of Spaghetti-o’s.

Spoons a mouthful,
gulps it down. Grins.

VIVI
Headin’ over to the store for awhile.
Made you some baloney
and Velveeta sandwiches,
and there’s a new bag
of cool ranch chips.

DEE ANNE
Uh -- thanks.

She has another spoonful.
Dee Anne and Jacob stare.

VIVI
Hey. I’m a gal on the go.
(loud burst of laughter)
See ya!

And she leaves.

DEE ANNE
Yeah. Mom’ll help out --

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