Ace Shares

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 5 of THE HEISTERS, we flashback to Kelsey's meeting with the gang to plan the big robbery ...


EXT. SURF MOTOR COURT MOTEL - DAY - FLASHBACK
A crusty, old ramshackle affair
just off PCH facing the ocean.

A row of tiny, shitty cabins
on each side of the office.

A sign blinks ‘No V can y’
in pale pink neon.

Kelsey’s beater pulls into
the gravel lot with a CRUNCH.

She parks. Gets out.
Walks over to the office.

INT. SURF MOTOR COURT MOTEL - OFFICE - DAY
A dump. A small fan tries
to push around the fetid air.

The GROTESQUE CLERK,
the white version of Precious,
looks up from her National Enquirer.
Shoves a Pringle’s in her gaping maw.

GROTESQUE CLERK
(shaking her head, munching)
Sorry. All full up --

KELSEY
I don’t need a room.
I’m looking for John Smith’s cabin.

GROTESQUE CLERK
(makes a face)
Another one, huh?
(off her nod)
Cabin ten.
On the right, at the end.

Kelsey nods. Leaves.
Grotesque watches her go.

GROTESQUE CLERK
Guess dey’re not queers, den --

EXT. MOTOR COURT CABIN - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
A faded, peeling, shitty,
tiny little ‘vacation’ home.

Kelsey walks up to the door.
KNOCK-KNOCKS on it. It OPENS.

Ronan Kenny stands there
holding a beer. Big smile.

RONAN
Come on in and pull up a log.

INT. MOTOR COURT CABIN - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
A tiny, cramped space,
dark with the shades drawn.

Kelsey follows Ronan in.
Eyes squinting. Adjusting to the light.

Ronan looks at two MEN
sitting at a small table.

RONAN
Guys, this is Kelsey. Kelsey Hazard.

KELSEY
(nods)
Gentlemen --

A large ITALIAN GUY (40’s)
gives her the once-over.

ITALIAN GUY
You said she was a pro,
but you didn’t tell me
she was fuckin’ HOT.

Meet LUDO DELUCA, failed restauranteur.
Expert chef. Not so expert at business.

Double chin and a belly.
Salt and pepper.

But good-looking, in that
mobster-looking kinda way.

KELSEY
(to Ronan, deadpan)
And you didn’t tell me
Pauley Walnuts was gonna be here.

A small, thin JEWISH GUY (50’s)
chuckles softly.

JEWISH GUY
Oy. And she’s a comedian.

Meet CHICK ABER, smooth-talking
pro heister from way back.
Dapper. Smart.

With more than a little of
the Borscht Belt in him.

Smoking a cigar.
Eyes crinkled with mischief.

RONAN
(to Kelsey)
The goombah-goodfella on the left
is Ludo DeLuca, and the cheap,
ew-bastard on the right here
is Chick Aber.

CHICK
Jew-bastard?
If my parents could hear you now,
rest their souls.

LUDO
Don’t listen to him.
I come from a family of
restauranteurs, NOT wiseguys --

Kelsey nods slowly.
Appraising them.
Sits on the bed.

KELSEY
Gentlemen --

Ronan walks over to her.
Hands her a bottle of beer.

KELSEY
Thanks. So tell me about the job.

He smiles. Leans against
the kitchenette counter.

Takes a pull off his longneck.
Wipes his mouth with his sleeve.

RONAN
It’s a sweet job.
Easy pickings. Low risk.

LUDO
It’s a rock concert --

CHICK
A charity event --

RONAN
At UCLA. The Rose Bowl.

KELSEY
You want to knock off The Rose Bowl --

RONAN
It’s a cinch.
I worked security there.

I know the layout -- the box office,
security, the whole shebang.

KELSEY
But aren’t seats for that kinda thing
sold on Ticketmaster? Online?

RONAN
Usually, yes. But not this one.
It’s a special benefit for disaster relief.
The tickets are bought on-site, that day.

KELSEY
Which disaster?

RONAN
That uh, earthquake thing.

KELSEY
You’re planning on ripping off
a CHARITY FUND-RAISER?

RONAN
Well, they’ve already
raised a billion dollars,
who’s gonna miss a million?

Kelsey sips her beer.

KELSEY
A million? That’s a big score --
(beat)
Anybody asking ace shares?

LUDO
Nope. Equal split,
right down the middle.

KELSEY
Who’s bankrolling it?

RONAN
I am. The job’s THAT good.

KELSEY
That’s very generous of you.

RONAN
I’m a generous guy --