Tuesday, April 28, 2015

The Happiest Place On Earth


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 42 of SPIRAL, Andy starts rebuilding his life after being haunted by the death of Savannah and moves in with a new roommate, but after going to bed, he hears a strange noise in the bathroom ...


EXT. MANSION BACK YARD - DUSK
Andy sits on the lawn
at the base of a tree
near the cliff overlooking
Beverly Hills below.

The CAMERA pans up the trunk
and fades into-

EXT. DUMPSTER / TREE - DAY
Behind a dumpster, two ACTORS
take a break sitting under a tree.

SNOW WHITE tokes on a joint,
hands it to GOOFY,
who holds his character head
in his lap.

EXT. DISNEYLAND / MAIN STREET - DAY
A bright, sunny day at
the "happiest place on earth."

Cheerful Disney-like music
plays in the background.

Andy walks down Main Street
with Phillip, his new roommate.

MICKEY MOUSE walks by
and WAVES frantically.

PHILLIP
It's insane.
Did you know that the actors
in those costumes get fired
if they say anything?
Or if they take off
the head in public?
I heard about this guy
who had to throw up,
so he took off his Goofy head,
and got fired.

ANDY
No shit.

PHILLIP
Yeah.
Disney claimed it could cause
irreparable harm to children
seeing a character
with a human head.

ANDY
That's why they call it
"Mouseschwitz."

PHILLIP
I know.
What do they want,
kids to see Goofy
puking his guts out?

Silence.

PHILLIP
The change is gonna be
good for you, you'll see.
That mansion was fucking creepy.

ANDY
Yeah.
It's nice to have someone
in the next room.

Andy smiles.

PHILLIP
Okay, so this was your idea.
Where do you want to go next?

ANDY
I dunno.

PHILLIP
How about Tomorrow Land?

INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Andy's new apartment.
It's nicely furnished, lots of room.
Homey. Warm. A home.

He lies on his bed
looking at a videotape.

CLOSE UP OF VIDEOTAPE
The oversized box cover:
"Savannah - Hustlers."

In gorgeous color, Shannon
leans across a pool table,
in hand, cigarette dangling,
fishnets flashing.

INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - SAME
He reaches over and
turns off the light,
gets under the covers
and closes his eyes.

A door CREAKS in the distance.
Andy WHIPS off the covers,
gets out of bed.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
Andy's SPOOKED.

He slowly, gingerly,
opens the shower curtain
and looks in --
to find nothing.

No comments:

Post a Comment