Your Vice Is My Command

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 29 of FULL BODY, wannabe chanteuse Summer Donavan takes Australian spinner Lindsay Lett to The Eighteenth Street Lounge, the hippest club in DC, where she fools the doorman into thinking she's on the A-list. Meanwhile, French/African temptress Ayanna Prouxl takes Portuguese gazelle Catalina Gil to Dhumba, DC's chicest restaurant, where they get 'up close and personal' ...


EXT. THE EIGHTEENTH STREET LOUNGE - NIGHT
From a window, Thievery Corporation’s remix
of Anoushka Shankar’s BELOVED
soars on silky, milky-smooth wings over --

A decrepit, peeling mattress store.
Above it --

The Eighteenth Street Lounge.
Occupying the top floors of an old mansion.

Gutted and retrofitted for the ultra-hip.
Super-suave meets lava lamp cool
meets glitterball, hookah bliss.

Summer leads Lindsey by the hand up to the door.
No velvet rope. Or doorperson.
A small gold plaque reads ‘ESL.’

SUMMER
Funny.
I read it was open every night.

LINDSEY
Ring the buzzer.

Summer does.
Chimes are heard from within.

SUMMER
C’mon, someone’s gotta be there.

A panel in the door slides up.
A dark-skinned goateed MAN (20’s)
with an eye patch peers out.

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
I’m sorry. Private party.

SUMMER
I know that. I’m the opening artist.

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
Nice try. The opening artist cancelled.

LINDSEY
Hello? That’s why she’s here --

SUMMER
Yeah. Rob Garza called me. Go get Rob.

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
He’s -- busy.

LINDSEY
You don’t recognize ‘Wednesday’?
The new artist ESL just signed?
You wanna get fired?

SUMMER
(pulls CD out of her bag)
Here’s a demo. I’ll sign it for you,
it’ll be a collector’s item.

(beat)
I don’t do the diva thing very well
(smiles)
Yet.

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
(looks at the CD, then her)
Okay -- come in.

He leads them up a narrow, steep staircase.

EXT. ALLEY - RESTAURANT - AT THAT MOMENT
The Bombay trip-hop curried beats of
Feel Good Production’s THE FEEL GOOD VIBE over --

Ayanna leads Catalina down a dark set of steps.
Catalina hesitates. Looks around.
Ayanna hits off a joint.

CATALINA
What is this place?

AYANNA
The hippest joint in DC, baby.
If it was easy to find, the peasants
and heathens would ruin it for the fabulous.

CATALINA
Okay. Give me a hit.

Ayanna carefully puts the joint
in her mouth, lit end in. Concentrates.
BLOWS smoke into Catalina’s mouth.

The vixen inhales. Smiles.
Ayanna leans in. Kisses her.

PERSIAN MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Ladies. You’re blocking the stairs.

THE PERSIAN MATRE D
stands in the doorway. Looking up.
Oily. Rakish. Delighted.

PERSIAN MATRE D
Not that I mind.

The girls pull out of their clinch.

CATALINA
Sorry --

AYANNA
I’m not. Hey, there. Table for two?

He bows deeply. Motions for them to come in.

PERSIAN MATRE D
Your vice is my command.

INT. EIGHTEENTH STREET LOUNGE - MAIN ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Thievery Corporation’s remix of The Januaries’
THE GIRL’S INSANE pulsates, shakes and shimmers over --

Lux digs. Hardwood floor. Persian rugs.
Overstuffed couches. Jungle foliage.
A roaring fire near the bar. Way past cool.

A private party in full swing.
Cosmopolitan bright young things.
Rastas. Sheiks. Euroflash.

Ultra-babes from all four corners.
Lounging. Mingling. Sipping. Glittering. Glowing.

Summer and Lindsey follow Eye Patch.
Float through the crowd.

LINDSEY
Who’s the party for?

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
Anoushka Shankar. Her birthday.

SUMMER
Ravi’s daughter --

LINDSEY
Ravi?

SUMMER
Ravi Shankar?
He only introduced the sitar to the Beatles.

Summer puts her hands above her head.
Joins them in an inverted ‘V.’
Shimmies back and forth, undulates.

SUMMER
(sings)
The girl’s insane --

LINDSEY
The girl’s possessed.

PUSH IN ON Summer’s face. Home.

INT. DHUMBA RESTAURANT - AT THAT MOMENT
The sacred sitar-beat of Hindi Ensemble’s BOMBAY over --
Matre D leading the women into the restaurant.

PERSIAN MATRE D
Welcome to Dhumba, ladies.
My name is Mehran.
I will be your culinary guide.

CATALINA
What kind of restaurant is this?

MEHRAN
Thai-Persian fusion.
(gestures)
Have a seat at the bar
while we get your table ready.

He bows. Leaves. The women sit.

CATALINA
Wow. What service.

AYANNA
Are you kidding?
Did you see the raging hard-on
in his Dolce and Gabannas?
He’s ready to shoot chick peas.

CATALINA
Shhh. We’re not at work.

The HOLLOW-FACED THAI BARTENDER leans over.
Grins toothily.

HOLLOW-FACED THAI BARTENDER
What can I get you ladies?

CATALINA
I’ll have a Kir Royale, please.

AYANNA
Make it two.

Ayanna blinks. Shakes her head. Rubs her temples.

CATALINA
Are you okay?

AYANNA
I’m not -- feeling so --

She slides off the bar stool.
Stands. Unsteady.

CATALINA
Ayanna, what’s wrong?

AYANNA
I -- have to go to the ladies’ room.
I’ll be right back --

CATALINA
I’ll come with you --

AYANNA
No, shhhh. Save my seat, it’s okay --

She weaves away. Catalina frowns.
Puts her bag on Ayanna’s stool.

The bartender slides over their drinks.
An AFRICAN PRINCE sits
on the other side of Catalina.

Natty in his native Dashiki.
Grins a gold-toothed smile.

AFRICAN PRINCE
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Prince Ja’Far Ngdelgachela.
At your service.

CATALINA
I’m sorry, but I’m waiting for my friend.

JA’FAR
Please. I simply desire pleasant conversation.
What do you do for a living?
Are you a fashion model?

CATALINA
I’m a -- massage therapist.

Ja’far beams. Gestures at his lap.
Makes a ‘jerk off’ motion.

JA’FAR
What would you charge to assuage
the raging current of fertility
which inflames my loin?

Catalina RECOILS in shock.
Slides off her stool. Quivering.

CATALINA
WHAT did you say?!

Mehran appears.

MEHRAN
Is everything alright?

CATALINA
No, everything is NOT alright.
That man -- said something VERY rude --
and he’s --

MEHRAN
Please. Come with me. Your table’s ready.

They start walking.

CATALINA
Aren’t you going to throw him out?

MEHRAN
I can’t -- he’s the owner.