Friday, March 9, 2018

Die Now, Pay Later


Hey there, crime kids. TGIF. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of A DISH BEST KILLED, murderess lesbian B-movie starlet Haven Crayce explains to a suspicious cop how her husband died after his insulin pump 'malfunctioned' ...


INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - DECK - NIGHT
Haven stands with Dr. Bing as
EMS TECHNICIANS carry Dart’s body
in a bag on a gurney off the boat.

They watch, as Haven dabs
her eyes with a handkerchief.

A YOUNG, LATINA COP
takes Haven’s statement.

YOUNG, LATINA COP
Do you know why your husband
fell in the water?

HAVEN
I don’t know.
I was meditating, listening to my Ipod --
and I heard a noise, and came up on deck.
He was standing there, at the railing --

YOUNG, LATINA COP
What was he doing out there so late?

HAVEN
He was having -- an attack.
Insulin shock.

YOUNG, LATINA COP
What from? Too much insulin?

HAVEN
No. Not enough --

YOUNG, LATINA COP
How did you know that?

HAVEN
I’m a -- I was a -- nurse.
His insulin pump -- wasn’t on.

YOUNG, LATINA COP
How could you tell?

HAVEN
It has this, blinking light,
and it, it --
(a sob)
Wasn’t blinking.

She breaks down, crying.
Dr. Bing puts his arm around her.
Consoles her. Looks at the cop.

DR. BING
Will that be all, officer?
This woman is distraught
over the loss of her husband.
I’d like her to get some rest.

The cop looks at Haven.
Narrows her eyes.

YOUNG, LATINA COP
That’ll be all for now.
(hands Dr. Bing her card)
Call me if she remembers anything else.

The cop tips her cap. Walks away.

DR. BING
(leads her to the couch)
Come, my dear. Lie down.
I’ll give you something
to help you get some sleep.

She gets on the couch.
Curls up in the fetal position.

HAVEN
I’m afraid to fall asleep --
every time I close my eyes,
I see -- him, in the water.

Dr. Bing pulls a large
syringe from his bag. SQUIRTS it.

DR. BING
Not to worry. I’m going to
give you something that’ll
make you sleep like the dead.
(gives injection)
I want you to count backwards
from one-hundred.

HAVEN
One-hundred, ninety-nine --
(drowsy)
Ninety -- eight --

And she’s out. Dr. Bing watches her.
Fishes out the cops’ card.
His cell phone. Dials a number. Listens.

DR. BING
(reads off the card)
Hello, Officer -- Vargas?
It’s Dr. Bing Birmingham,
we just spoke with you --
(listens)
Yes, I do. I’d like to have
that insulin pump checked out.
See if it was defective.
(listens)
It’s already going to the lab?
Excellent.
(listens)
You, too -- thanks.

He hangs up. Looks at Haven.
Sleeping peacefully.

DR. BING
I can’t put my finger on it,
but I think there’s something’s
rotten in the state of Denmark --

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