Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Breakfast Club


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 29 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, CDC agent Beck Driver and patrolman Chet Beverage meet with Frankie Stein's principal so they can question him, but the shit hits the fan when principal Bacon's elderly secretary makes the announcement over the school PA system ...


INT. HIGH SCHOOL - PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY
Functional furniture. Fake Persian rug. Fake plants.
American flag on the wall. Bowling trophies.

Would be almost nice if it weren’t for
the pukey-colored painted brick walls.

Seated at his desk is PRINCIPAL BACON (50’s),
a large bear of a man. Florid-faced, balding,
and stuffed into a threadbare suit
that the eighties would like to have back.

Beck and Chet sit in chairs facing him.

BECK
Thanks for seeing us.

CHET
First time I asked
to go the principal’s office --

PRINCIPAL BACON
Don’t worry, I’m not going
to give you detention --
(SLAPS desk)
But enough tomfoolery.
You didn’t come here to
quips and banter.
I assume you have a suspect?

BECK
Yes, we do.
One of your students --

CHET
Frankie Stein, a sophomore.

PRINCIPAL BACON
Frankie Stein?
But he’s one of our best students.
He got into MIT, early admission --

BECK
We think he might have something to do
with Shayla Petrie’s disappearance.

CHET
We’d like you to ask him
to come to your office.
We’ll take it from there.

PRINCIPAL BACON
Are you going to arrest him?

CHET
We just want to ask him
a few questions.

BECK
Given the hysteria
over Shayla’s disappearance,
we need to handle this quietly.
We don’t want the students
to know what’s going on.

PRINCIPAL BACON
Do you fear for his safety?

CHET
Missing cheerleader?

PRINCIPAL BACON
(nods)
Indeed.
(picks up his phone)
Ruth, could you please find out
what class Frankie Stein is in,
and get word to the teacher
I would like to see him?
(listens)
No. Don’t use the PA.
We need to keep this quiet.
(listens)
Thank you.
(hangs up, to them)
He should be here soon.

Beck and Chet nod. Fidget awkwardly.
Look around the room.

BECK
So, uh -- I see you’re quite the bowler --

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - FRONT OFFICE - DAY
The typical school office
with ancient furniture.

And what’s that?
A mimeograph machine?

Seated behind her desk
is RUTH CHUBB (60’s),
Miss Grundy incarnate.

She studies a schedule.
Gets up from her desk.
Walks toward the door.

EXT. CLASSROOM DOORWAY - DAY
Ruth whispers to the TEACHER (20’s),
a hot young thing.

Her eyes grow wide.
Shakes her head ‘no.’

RUTH
Returns to her desk. Sits.
Turns on the PA system.
Leans into the microphone.

INT. SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
Completely empty. Ruth’s voice
comes over the PA system.

RUTH (O.C.)
(electronic)
Will Frankie Stein please report
to the Principal’s office?
Frankie Stein, please report
to the Principal’s office.

CHET AND BECK
Sit in their chairs.
WHIP their heads toward the speaker.

BECK
What the fuck?

CHET
Great. Just great --

PRINCIPAL BACON
Fucking old CROW.
(clears his throat)
Excuse me --

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

A Cold One


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 28 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, Frankie tries to convince Josh not to turn himself into the police, but when Josh insists he is, things turn deadly. Meanwhile, Shayla leaves the scene of her date with Frankie and wanders off into the night ...



EXT. OHIO BURGER KITCHEN - DAY
Frankie walks up to Josh.
He gets off his bike.

FRANKIE
Hey, Josh. Thanks for coming.

JOSH
Nothing you can say
is gonna change my mind.
I’m turning myself in.

FRANKIE
(GRABS his arm)
Let’s go sit in my car.

INT. OHIO BURGER KITCHEN - LADIES’ ROOM - DAY
Cramped. Tiny. Fairly clean.
A fan BUZZES in the window,
pushing the fetid air around.

Shayla looks at herself in the mirror.
But her eyesight is failing.

She RIPS off the wig. Turns.
Goes to the door. Opens it.

EXT. OHIO BURGER KITCHEN - BACK ALLEY - DAY
The back door OPENS.
Shayla walks out. Looks around.

Starts awkwardly marching
down the back alley.

INT. FRANKIE’S VOLKSWAGON - DAY
Frankie sits behind the wheel.
Josh is beside him, arms
folded across his chest.

JOSH
My mind is made up.

FRANKIE
But we’re on our FIRST DATE --

JOSH
Date? That’s a good one --
(evil smile)
So did you FUCK her?
I bet that was GREAT.
Talk about a cold one.

FRANKIE
SHUT UP.

JOSH
Oh, did I hit a nerve?
Well, it’s time you faced the facts --
she’s DEAD, and you’re a fucking PERVERT.

FRANKIE
No, take that BACK.

JOSH
It’s called necrophilia, Frankie.
Fucking a DEAD BODY, PERVERT.

FRANKIE
I’m not a PERVERT --

He LUNGES at Josh. They STRUGGLE.
Frankie GRABS his head.
SMASHES it into the window, CRACK.

JOSH
OW. HEY --

SMASHES it again. Blood SPRAYS.
BANGS it again. And again.

And AGAIN. Josh slumps over in seat. Dead.
Frankie stares. Opens his mouth. Horrified.

FRANKIE
Omigod. What have I done?

He looks out the window.
No one around. Whew. Reaches over.
GRABS Josh, and with superhuman strength,
THROWS him in the back. Finds a rag.
Wipes the blood off the window.

FRANKIE
(realizes)
Shayla --

INT. OHIO BURGER KITCHEN - DAY
Frankie RACES over their booth.
Sees she’s not there.

FRANKIE
Shit.

He RACES toward the back.

INT. LADIES’ ROOM - DAY
The door FLIES OPEN.
Frankie charges in.

Sees it’s empty.
Then sees her wig on the floor.

FRANKIE
Oh, no --

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Slam Dunk


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, science genius nerd Frankie Stein takes his reanimated dead cheerleader girlfriend Shayla Petrie on their first date ... to Ohio Burger Kitchen, but when he gets a call from his BFF/co-conspirator Josh Bohner saying he's going to the cops and confess, he has to spring into action ...


INT. OHIO BURGER KITCHEN - DAY
One of those low-rent
suburban chain restaurants.
Rows of red vinyl booths.

Mostly dead at this hour on a weekday,
but there’s still a sprinkling
of the low-end of humanity.

A HOMELESS MAN nurses a cup of coffee.
A RETIREE reads the paper at the counter.
Picks at his tuna melt.

And in a booth way in the back
sits Frankie and Shayla, studying menus.

SHAYLA
Around -- The World?

FRANKIE
All the meals have cute names like that.
It’s a bacon cheeseburger with fries
AND onion rings.

SHAYLA
Cheese-burger --

FRANKIE
I think I’m gonna have the Slam Dunk.

SHAYLA
Slam -- Dunk?

FRANKIE
It’s a bacon cheeseburger with
chili, avocado and pineapple,
served on a bed of home fries.

Shayla looks at her menu.
Eyes getting a little glassy.

SHAYLA
Can’t -- see so good.

She opens her mouth -- and
VOMITS all over the table.

FRANKIE
SHIT.

SHAYLA
Don’t -- feel good.

A CHUBBY WAITRESS (40’s) wearing
a too-tight polyester uniform
appears holding a coffee pot.

CHUBBY WAITRESS
Not feeling so hot, honey?

SHAYLA
I’m -- sorry.

CHUBBY WAITRESS
(over her shoulder)
PACO.
We got an up-chuck at table twelve -
(smiles)
Don’t worry, we’ll get ya all cleaned up.
Do ya know what ya wanna have?

SHAYLA
Not -- hungry.

FRANKIE
I’ll have the Slam Dunk,
and please bring her a glass of water.
She’ll decide later.

Chubby nods, walks away.

CHUBBY
Cluck-clucks to herself.

CHUBBY WAITRESS
Another pregnant junkie.
Skin’s turning BLUE, and
she smells like something DIED.

FRANKIE AND SHAYLA
Look at each other.
An awkward silence.

FRANKIE
Are you okay?

SHAYLA
Feel -- cold.

Frankie’s phone RINGS.

FRANKIE
Hold on a sec.
(answers it)
Hello?

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. OHIO BURGER KITCHEN - DAY
Josh sits on his bike on his cell
looking in the window.

JOSH
I’m here, but I’m not coming in.
I can SEE her, Frankie.
Get your ass out here.

FRANKIE
Be there in sec.

JOSH
Hurry up.
I'm on my way to
the police station.

They hang up.
Frankie looks at Shayla.

FRANKIE
I have to go talk to a friend
for a minute outside.
Why don’t you go to the ladies’ room
and freshen up a bit?

SHAYLA
Freshen -- up?

FRANKIE
Yeah. I’m sorry.
It’s really important.
It’ll be real quick, I promise.

He gets up and hurries toward the door.

PACO (18) a tall, skinny
Mexican kid arrives.

Starts cleaning up the mess.
Keeps sneaking a peak at Shayla.

Wrinkles his nose. Shayla
stares off into space. Gets up.

SHAYLA
Freshen -- up.

And starts shuffling off to the back.

Monday, March 28, 2016

Good Morning America


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, Shayla's parents Adelle and Brub appear on a local morning talk show to discuss the death of their daughter. Meanwhile, now that her ex-boyfriend Willis is the prime suspect, everybody at school shuns him ...


INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY
A cozy, cheap ‘living room’ set that
would do Good Morning America proud.

Candy Sprinkle sits on a chair
facing Brub and Adelle Petrie,
seated on an overstuffed couch.

Adelle clutches a tissue in her hands,
blinking back tears.

Brub holds a mug of coffee.
Looks haunted. Lost.

Candy leans into the camera.
Serious. Speaks in hushed tones.

CANDY
We’re here today with
Brub and Adelle Petrie,
the parents of head cheerleader
Shayla Petrie, whose tragic death
has rocked this sleepy little hamlet.
(to them)
Thank you for coming.
I know it must be hard for you,
given the circumstances.

BRUB
No sh-(BEEP).
The cops can’t even find
the (BEEP)ing body.

ADELLE
(low)
You and your foul mouth --

CANDY
Uh -- is there anything you’d
like to share with the
folks out there?

BRUB
Shayla was a GOOD girl,
not some common BAR-SLUT.
She was PUMPKIN QUEEN, goddammit.

He takes a sip of coffee.
Eyes burning with fire.

ADELLE
(looks into the camera)
Please help us find our little girl.
If we can’t have a proper funeral,
I don’t know WHAT we’ll do --

She trails off, overcome with emotion.

BRUB
(low)
I know one thing you won’t do --

ADELLE
(hisses)
SORRY I haven’t been
in the mood to (BEEP) you.
HONESTLY, how can you
think of SEX at a time like this --

CANDY
I think we’re straying off the topic --

BRUB
EXCUSE ME if a man has NEEDS, sister.
A good (BEEP) relieves STRESS.

ADELLE
Watch your (BEEP)ing mouth, mister --

BRUB
Oh, YEAH? You gonna (BEEP)ing MAKE me?

CANDY
(touches her earpiece)
What?
(listens)
We’ve just received a late-breaking bulletin.
The police now have a suspect in the case.
Their identity has not been released yet,
but it’s believed to be
one of Shayla’s classmates.
(beat)
We now pause for station identification --

BRUB
I (BEEP)ing KNEW it --

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
The usual throng of kids weave
around each other on their way to class.

But now they seem excited. Almost happy.
CAMERA finds a gaggle of CHEERLEADERS
by the water fountain.

AMBER
Ohmigod. Who do you think it is?

AURA
I don’t know.

HOT BLACK CHEERLEADER
I can’t believe it’s someone here at SCHOOL.

SHAPELY HISPANIC CHEERLEADER
(sees someone, loud whisper)
I bet it’s WILLIS. Look, there he is.

Willis lumbers by them. Dejected. Head down.
He walks over to Kirk, who’s working
the combination on his locker.

WILLIS
Hey.

KIRK
(sees him)
Oh -- hey.

WILLIS
Whataya say after school we
snag some forties and blow a doob?

KIRK
I, uh -- got a lot of homework to do.

WILLIS
HOMEWORK? Since when the fuck do you --
(realizes)
Oh, I get it. You’re TOO GOOD
to hang out with me now that
I’m a suspect, huh?

KIRK
People been talking, dude. Just sayin’ --

WILLIS
I didn’t KILL her, man. FUCK you.

He storms off. Kirk watches him go.

KIRK
Asshole --
(shakes his head)
Whatever.

Friday, March 25, 2016

Hill Street Blues


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 25 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, CDC agent Beck Driver and patrolman Chet Beverage convince science genius nerd Frankie Stein's mother to let them search his basement laboratory. Meanwhile, Frankie and his reanimated dead cheerleader 'girlfriend' Shayla go on their 'first date,' but Frankie starts to freak out when she starts remembering who she was ...


INT. PATROL CAR - DAY
Chet and Beck sit in the patrol car
sipping coffee. Watching Frankie’s house.

CHET
So how long have been
into infectious diseases?

BECK
One day when I was a little kid
I saw The Andromeda Strain on TV.
Changed my life. The idea that a virus
could wipe out the entire planet
scared the shit out of me.
I vowed to never let it happen.
(sips coffee)
What made you want to be a cop?

CHET
Uh -- similar story --

BECK
Serpico?
(off his stare)
Hill Street Blues?

CHET
(clears throat)
Uh -- Barney Miller.
(off her look)
I’m an orphan, okay?
Those cops were like a family --

BECK
(sees something)
There she is.

EXT. FRANKIE’S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - DAY
Julie goes to the door.
Looks exhausted.

Pulls out her keys.
Unlocks the door.

Chet and Beck appear
behind her.

CHET
Excuse me, Julie Stein?

JULIE
That’s me --
(turns, looks)
Officer. Is there anything wrong?

BECK
We’d like to talk to you
about your son, Frankie.
(off her stare, shows ID)
Beck Driver, CDC.

JULIE
What’s wrong? Wh-what did he do?

CHET
Can we talk inside?

INT. JULIE’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Julie sits on the couch.
Chet sits in a chair facing her.
Beck stands in front of the fireplace.

JULIE
A rat? Really?

CHET
Yes, ma’am.

BECK
And we’re looking for the person
who brought it back to life.

CHET
Your neighbor Peggy Heck
told us your son Frankie has a --
science lab in your basement.

JULIE
(under her breath)
That bitch --
(recovers)
Well, yes. But that’s
for his chemistry class.
He wouldn’t do anything like that.
(proud)
He got in early admission to MIT.

BECK
Would you mind if we took a look?

JULIE
Well, I don’t know.
I’m not allowed down there.
Ever since his father died,
he’s been very -- private.

CHET
We can get a warrant.

JULIE
(sighs, stands)
Follow me --

INT. FRANKIE’S VOLKSWAGON BUS - DAY
Frankie sits behind the wheel.
Shayla sits next to him.

Now wearing a long, blonde wig.
She adjusts it clumsily.
Looks at herself in the mirror.

SHAYLA
Pretty.

FRANKIE
You look gorgeous.
(beat)
I thought we could go to
Ohio Burger Kitchen.
Hope that’s okay --

SHAYLA
Burger -- Kitchen --
(thinks)
Willis.

FRANKIE
W-willis?

SHAYLA
Went -- with Willis.
(looks at him)
You -- know him?

FRANKIE
Uh, no --

SHAYLA
CHEESE-BURGER.

FRANKIE
What?

SHAYLA
(sad)
Don’t -- know.

FRANKIE
Don’t strain yourself trying
to remember everything.
Just think about the fun
we’re going to have.
(smiles)
Our first date --

SHAYLA
First -- date.

FRANKIE
So you like cheeseburgers, huh?
I do, too.

SHAYLA
He -- HIT me.

FRANKIE
Who hit you?

SHAYLA
Willis.
(looks at him)
Don’t -- know him?

PUSH IN ON Frankie’s face.
Quietly freaking out.

FRANKIE
Sorry --
(bad fake laugh)
Whatchoo talkin’ bout?

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Date Night


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, science genius nerd Frankie Stein's dead cheerleader 'girlfriend' Shayla Petrie is feeling 'cooped up' in the tree house she's been hiding in, and wants to go out on 'a date' with Frankie. Meanwhile, Frankie's best friend Josh is tired of having to keep his big secret and puts his foot down ...


INT. FRANKIE’S KITCHEN - DAY
Frankie opens up the fridge.
Starts searching for a snack.

Then hears a car door SLAM outside.
He hurries out the back door.

Julie walks into the kitchen.
Puts down her bag. Sighs.

INT. TREE HOUSE - DAY
Shayla lays on the futon watching TV.
Eyes glued. Entranced.

SHAYLA
Tell him -- pregnant --

The door opens.
Frankie walks in. Closes it.

SHAYLA
Home -- early?

FRANKIE
Had an emergency I
had to take care of.
What are you watching?

SHAYLA
Days Of -- Our World.
(looks at him)
Want to -- go on -- date.

FRANKIE
A date?

SHAYLA
(points at the TV)
Like -- them.
(beat)
Go -- outside. Feel -- cooped up.

FRANKIE
Okay --

Frankie’s cell phone RINGS.
He answers it.

FRANKIE
Hello?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
Josh weaves through the
throng of kids on their way
to class talking on his smart-phone.

JOSH
Where are you?
You weren’t in chem lab.

FRANKIE
I had a -- emergency --

JOSH
Don’t tell me.
I don’t want to know.
(beat)
I can’t take it anymore, Frankie.
I’m gonna turn myself in.

FRANKIE
NO. You CAN’T do that --

JOSH
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep --
I can’t take it anymore, Frankie.

FRANKIE
Something’s come up.
I need to see you. It’s urgent.

JOSH
I don’t see the point in --

FRANKIE
PLEASE, Josh.
I can’t talk about it on the phone.
Meet me at Ohio Burger Kitchen
in half an hour, okay?
I need to talk to you.
It’s IMPORTANT.

JOSH
I dunno --

FRANKIE
Josh, we’ve been friends
since we were SIX.
I gave you your
first copy of PLAYBOY --

JOSH
Okay, okay. I’ll meet you there.

They both hang up.
PUSH IN ON Josh’s face.
Exasperated.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

A Tough Nut


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, CDC agent Beck Driver and local cop Chet Beverage visit science genius nerd Frankie Stein's house to investigate his basement lab. Meanwhile, Frankie hides all his scientific equipment ...

EXT. FRANKIE’S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - DAY
Chet and Beck stand on the front stoop.
Chet RINGS the bell.

BECK
Nobody’s home.
Let’s come back later.

CHET
Hold on a sec.
Maybe she’s taking a shit.

BECK
That’s disgusting.

CHET
Haven’t you ever been
uncoiling a sidewinder
and the doorbell rang?

BECK
First of all, I’m a petite flower.
I don’t 'uncoil side-winders.'

CHET
Well, excuse me, big-city gal.
I guess your shit doesn’t stink.

BECK
You got THAT right.

He RINGS the bell again.

CHET
I know what your problem is.

BECK
Oh, really --

CHET
You need to get laid.

BECK
Fuck off.

CHET
Look.
Your cheeks are turning red.
I’m RIGHT.

BECK
(points at his belly)
Time to make the donuts --

CHET
Hey.
No need to be nasty.

BECK
You can dish it out,
but you can’t take it, huh?
Small-town HICK.

Pause.

CHET
I’m sorry.
I shouldn’t have --
(low)
It’s, uh -- been awhile
for me, too.
Kinda -- frustrated.

They stare at each other.

BECK
(low)
Sucks, huh --

CHET
Whattaya say we
get some coffee
and come back later.
My treat.

BECK
That would -- be nice.

They start walking back
to the car.

CHET
You’re not such a tough nut
after all.

BECK
Tell anyone, and I’ll
fucking kill you --

INT. FRANKIE’S BASEMENT LAB - DAY
The electronic equipment
near the workbench is gone.

In it’s place
is a gerbil in a cage.

A child’s chemistry set. Microscope.
An X-box and a stack of videogames.

FRANKIE
My god, how dull.
(sighs)
Should work.

He SNAPS a padlock shut
on a big cabinet.

Shuts off the lights.
Goes to the stairs.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Dead To Rights


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, science genius nerd Frankie Stein is confronted by his childhood flame Vita Heck after she sees him romancing reanimated cheerleader Shayla Petrie in his tree house ...


INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
The joint is clogged with kids.
Frankie stands at his locker
working the combination.
Vita comes up behind him.

VITA
Frankie, we need to talk.

FRANKIE
(turns, looks)
Hey, Vita. Sorry, can’t talk now,
don’t wanna be late for class.

He turns to leave.

VITA
I saw you with Shayla last night.

FRANKIE
(stops, stares)
That’s crazy. She’s -- dead. Missing.

VITA
No, she’s not. She’s in your tree house.

FRANKIE
I, I can explain --

VITA
You fucking BETTER --
(grabs his hand)
Come with me.

She drags him into --

INT. GIRLS’ ROOM - DAY
Empty except for a YOUNG GIRL WITH BRACES
drying her hands with a paper towel.
She sees Frankie and BOLTS for the door.

VITA
What the FUCK, Frankie.
Did you bring her back to life?

FRANKIE
Yeah, but wait, I can explain --

VITA
A cop and woman from the CDC
were at my house this morning
asking my mother about the DEAD RAT
that was running around
like crazy in my basement.
Did you do that, too?

FRANKIE
(sighs)
I was doing a dead-cell reanimation
experiment -- and it worked.
And then when Shayla got hit by a car --

He trails off. Gestures helplessly.

VITA
I can’t fucking BELIEVE it.
Do you realize how much
trouble you’re in?
My mother told them about
your basement lab.

FRANKIE
Oh, SHIT.
(realizes, freaks out)
Did you tell them you saw --

VITA
No, no, no. I’d never do that.
I want to help you.

FRANKIE
You w-want to help me? Why?

VITA
Don’t you remember the ceremony?

FRANKIE
We were TEN, Vita.
That was kid’s stuff.

VITA
It doesn’t have to be --
(a whisper)
I never stopped loving you.

Frankie stares. Be careful here.
You need her help.
He takes her hands in his.

FRANKIE
Can we -- talk about that later?
I’m kinda -- freaked out right now.

VITA
Of course, of course.
(thinks)
Here’s what you do.
Go to the nurse, say you’re sick,
then go home and hide anything
in your lab that can
be used as evidence.
(realizes)
Oh, shit. Wait.
The cop and the CDC lady
are probably there right now --

FRANKIE
No, it’s okay.
My mom’s still at work.
She doesn’t get home until ten.
She did a double shift last night.

VITA
Perfect.

FRANKIE
Yeah. Okay --

VITA
Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out.

FRANKIE
I don’t know what to say.

She puts her hands on his hips.
Draws him close --

VITA
Thank you would be nice --

And grinds into his crotch.
Kisses him deeply. She pulls back.
Frankie looks at her. Aroused. Confused.

FRANKIE
(throaty)
Thank you.

VITA
Play your cards right, and
there’s more where that comes from.

FRANKIE
I’d -- like that.

VITA
We can make up for lost time.
(off his stare)
She’s no good for you, Frankie.
She’s dead. I’m alive --

FRANKIE
(head spinning)
Yeah --

VITA
Now go, scoot --
go see the nurse. Hurry.

He stares at her a long beat.
Nods. Then hurries out.

VITA
(watches him go)
You’re mine now, Frankie Stein.
All mine.

Friday, March 18, 2016

Suspicious Minds


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, science genius nerd Frankie Stein moves his dead cheerleader girlfriend Shayla Petrie into his backyard tree house, but the plot thickens when his childhood former flame next door Vita Heck recognizes Shayla. Meanwhile, local cop Chet Beverage and CDC agent Beck Driver interview Vita's mother about the dead rat Frankie brought back to life ...


INT. TREE HOUSE - NIGHT
A surprisingly large room. Carpeted.
A futon in one corner.

Table and two chairs in another.
A small boombox. Small love seat
in front of a portable TV.
Half-size refrigerator.

The door OPENS.
In walks Frankie and Shayla.

She pulls down her hoodie.
Looks around. SQUEALS with joy.

SHAYLA
So -- CUTE.

FRANKIE
I thought you might like it.
(phone VIBRATES in pocket)
Hold on a sec --
(pulls it out, answers)
What’s up?
(listens)
Brilliant. Thanks.
See you tomorrow. Bye.

He CLICKS it shut.
Gestures to the couch.

FRANKIE
Have a seat. Take a load off.

Shayla smiles. Goes to the couch. Sits demurely.
Pats the cushion next to her invitingly.
He sits down. She takes his hands in hers. Leans in --

SHAYLA
Love -- nest.

And they kiss.

IN THE WINDOW we see Vita’s face. HORRIFIED.

OUTSIDE
Vita pulls away from the window.

VITA
(whispers)
Shayla?

EXT. VITA’S HOUSE - DAY
A bright, sunny day. Birds are chirping.
The wind whistles through the trees.
All that’s missing is ‘The Beaver.’

Chet and Beck stand at the
front door, side by side.

He takes off his shades.
Slips them in his shirt pocket.
RINGS the doorbell.

CHET
Remember, let me do the talking.

BECK
(bristling)
Of course --

PEGGY (O.C.)
(faint)
Just a minute --

The door OPENS. Peggy’s smile fades. Disappointed.

PEGGY
Officer Beverage. Nice to see you again.

CHET
(tips his hat)
Mrs. Heck --

PEGGY
Please. Peggy.
(beat)
Are you here -- about the rat again?

CHET
Yes, Ma’am.
(gestures to Beck)
This is Beck Driver, from the
Center For Disease Control.

PEGGY
Oh, dear --

CHET
Nothing to be alarmed about.
We’re just trying to --

BECK
This is going to sound strange,
but do you know of anyone doing any
medical experiments in the neighborhood?

PEGGY
Medical experiments?

BECK
Yeah. Believe it or not, the rat
was brought back from the dead --
and we’re looking for the person
who did it.
(conspiratorial)
It’s a major medical breakthrough.

CHET
You’d be doing your duty
for your country, Mrs. -- Peggy.

Peggy blinks. Looks at them.

PEGGY
Well, there’s young
Frankie Stein next door.
They say he’s a genius.
Has a laboratory in his basement
and everything.

BECK
A -- basement lab?

PEGGY
Oh, yes. His mother Julie
isn’t allowed down there,
but she’s told me he does all
kinds of top-secret
things down there.
(brightly)
I hope that’s helpful.

BECK
That’s VERY helpful. Thank you.

INSIDE THE HOUSE
Standing in the doorway to the
kitchen is Vita. Listening.

VITA
(whispers)
I’ve got you NOW, Frankie Stein --

She grabs her backpack
and heads toward the door.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

The Jig's Up


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, science genius nerd Frankie Stein moves his dead girlfreind Shayla Petrie to his backyard treehouse in the middle of the night, but gets spotted by his next door neighbor/childhood flame Vita Heck ...


EXT. FRANKIE’S BACKYARD - NIGHT
Dark and deserted at this late hour.
Frankie stands near the back door with Shayla,
who wears a hoodie over her dress,
the hood pulled up and tied almost completely shut.

SHAYLA
Hard to -- see.

FRANKIE
Don’t worry. It’s just for a couple minutes.

Josh appears from around the corner of the house.

JOSH
Coast is clear.

FRANKIE
Great. You stay here, keep an eye out.

SHAYLA
Who’s -- that?

FRANKIE
A friend. He’s helping me move you.
(to Josh)
Keep an eye on the windows next door,
and if you see anyone, give the signal.

JOSH
Okay. Just hurry it up, okay?
I don’t wanna get busted.

FRANKIE
(to Shayla)
C’mon, let’s go.

He takes her by the arm, and they walk
toward the back of the yard.

Shayla shuffles slowly, stiffly, zombie-like.
They approach a big, old oak tree in a far corner.

SHAYLA
(looks up)
It’s -- beautiful.

ANGLE ON --
A TREE HOUSE nestled fifty feet up
in the big, thick branches.

Quite large, and beautifully made.
It’s been there for awhile,
almost completely hidden by leaves.

FRANKIE
Gestures proudly.

FRANKIE
It’s something, huh? Me and my dad built it
when I was a little kid. I designed it.

SHAYLA
I -- LOVE IT.

FRANKIE
Shhh. We don’t want to wake the neighbors.

INT. VITA’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Vita lies in bed studying. She hears something.
Cocks her head. Goes to the window.
Looks out. Eyes grow wide.

VITA
Frankie? And who’s that with him?

EXT. TREE HOUSE - NIGHT
We see a circular staircase
winding around the tree trunk.

Frankie guides Shayla
over to the first step.

FRANKIE
Okay, here we go --

Shayla grabs the handrail. Lifts her foot.
Tries to take a step, but her muscle control is off.

SHAYLA
Can’t -- DO IT.

Frankie squeezes around in front of her.
Offers his hand.

FRANKIE
Here. I’ll help you.

SHAYLA
(takes his hand)
Thanks --

He pulls her up.
They start slowly climbing the stairs.

VITA
Watches from her window.
Leans out to get a better view.

VITA
What the hell?

JOSH
Sees Vita. Starts freaking out.
Puts his hands together to make a bird call.
Blows into them.

JOSH
Coo, coo, coo --

FRANKIE
Hears it. Looks around. Doesn’t see anyone.
His cell phone VIBRATES in his pocket.
He stops. Takes it out. Whispers.

FRANKIE
What’s wrong?

JOSH
Looks up at Vita’s window.

JOSH
It’s Vita. She was hanging out
her window watching you. The jig’s up.

FRANKIE
Go talk to her. Distract her.

JOSH
(sees something)
Shit. Too late.

FRANKIE
What do you mean 'too late?'

JOSH
She just came outside.

FRANKIE
SHIT. Then go head her off --
(to Shayla)
C’mon, let’s go --

SHAYLA
What’s -- wrong?

FRANKIE
Hurry up. C’mon --

He starts pulling her up the stairs.
Her feet find a rhythm, and they start moving faster.

VITA
Stands in her back yard, watching them climb.

VITA
Who’s that WITH him?

Josh walks over to the hedge at the edge of her yard.

JOSH
Hey, Vita. What are you doing out so late?

VITA
(turns and looks)
Josh? I could ask you the same question.

JOSH
Uh, Frankie’s on a date. I was the -- designated driver.

VITA
A DATE? Who with?

JOSH
New girl. Uh -- foreign exchange student.

VITA
Oh.

JOSH
So, uh -- it’s late. I gotta go. Have a good night.

VITA
Yeah. You too --

PUSH IN ON Shayla’s face.
Staring at the tree house.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Hot Pockets


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, just as science genius nerd Frankie gets ready to move his dead cheerleader 'girlfriend' Shayla out of his basement lab into a tree house so she can have 'a view,' the unthinkable happens when she starts to get her memory back ...


INT. FRANKIE’S HOUSE - BASEMENT LAB - AT THAT MOMENT
Frankie sits at his workbench
eating a sandwich watching the news.
He smiles. Softly SLAPS the table.

FRANKIE
Willis? NICE.

Shayla lies on her ‘bed’
leafing through a fashion magazine.
She looks up, quizzical.

SHAYLA
What?

FRANKIE
Nothing, nothing --
(beat)
So you ready for the big move?

SHAYLA
(smiles)
Room with -- a view.

FRANKIE
Great. You’re gonna love it.

Shayla cocks her head. Thinking.

SHAYLA
Starting to -- remember.

FRANKIE
(scared)
Oh? Like -- what?

SHAYLA
Used to be -- cheerleader.

FRANKIE
R-really?

SHAYLA
Something -- else --

FRANKIE
Oh? Wh-what’s that?

SHAYLA
Another -- boyfriend.
Funny -- huh?

PUSH IN ON Frankie’s face.
Freaking out. He swallows.

FRANKIE
H-hilarious.

INT. HOSPITAL - NURSE’S STATION - NIGHT
Very quiet at this late hour.

Julie Stein wears a nurse’s uniform,
sits at her desk at the
corner of two corridors.

A PLEASANT-FACED LARGE NURSE (40’s)
walks up to her.

PLEASANT-FACED LARGE NURSE
I’m going down to the
cafeteria to get coffee.
Can I get you anything?

JULIE
I’d LOVE a coffee.
These double-shifts are
KILLING me. Thanks --

Pleasant-Faced nods. Walks off.
Julie picks up the phone.
Dials a number. Listens.

JULIE
Hello, Frankie --

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. FRANKIE’S BASEMENT LAB - CONTINUOUS
Frankie’s on the phone.
Shayla watches TV in the background.

FRANKIE
Hey, mom. What’s up?

JULIE
I’m so sorry, but
Tami called in sick.
I have to do a double-shift
again tonight.

FRANKIE
That’s okay, mom.
I’ll just nuke a couple
of Hot Pockets.

JULIE
Great. How was school today?

FRANKIE
Uh -- fine. School was -- great.

JULIE
Are you okay?
Is something wrong?
You sound funny.

FRANKIE
(looks at Shayla)
No. Everything’s -- fine.
Just -- tired, that’s all.

Shayla raises her arms in the air.
SHOUTS.

SHAYLA
KILL, KILL!

JULIE
What was that?

FRANKIE
Something on TV --
(gestures to Shayla to shush)
Sorry you have to work late again.

JULIE
(sighs)
Yeah, me too.
At least I get overtime.
See you in the morning, honey.

FRANKIE
Bye, mom. Good night.

JULIE
Love you.

FRANKIE
Love you. Bye.

He hangs up. Looks at Shayla.

FRANKIE
I’m sorry, my love --
but you need to be quiet
quiet when I’m on the phone, okay?

SHAYLA
Sorry.

FRANKIE
What are you watching?

PUSH IN ON Shayla’s face.
Smiling sweetly.

SHAYLA
Real -- Housewives.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

They Shoot Whores, Don't They?


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, the local TV news team in Venison, Ohio reports on the tragic death of head cheerleader Shayla Petrie, who was killed in a hit and run accident ...


INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
CAMERA pans across a row of lockers.
Stops at one. Candles, flowers
and pictures of Shayla surround it.

A banner reads REST IN PEACE, SHAYLA
above a teddy bear.

A delicate, feminine hand
adds a BOUQUET OF ROSES.

INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY
GRAPHICS FLY across the screen:
NEWS FOUR AT YOUR DOOR.

We see a PERT, FADED BLONDE ANCHORWOMAN and a
CHIPPER, DULL-LOOKING BLACK ANCHORMAN seated
at the news desk fake-chatting with each other.
Shuffling papers.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
News Four AT YOUR DOOR.
(beat)
With Candy Sprinkle --

Candy looks up. Gives a slight nod.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And Kip Cartwheel --

Kip nods. Smiles briefly.
Cocks an eyebrow.

CAMERA ZOOMS IN on Candy.
Eyes bright with emotion.

CANDY
Welcome to News Four At Your Door.

Our top story tonight,
little Shayla Petrie,
a senior at Venison High,
who was killed in a hit and run
accident last night --

She stops. Tries to continue,
chokes back a muffled sob.

Kip sees this, nods,
looks into the camera.

KIP
Police have started a county-wide search
for the body of the missing teen,
who was captain of the cheerleading squad,
and was crowned Miss Pumpkin
at last year’s Harvest Festival --

Candy shakes her head.
Recovers her composure.

CANDY
Law enforcement officials won’t divulge
any details about their investigation,
and are still combing the scene
of the crime for clues --

KIP
We take you now to investigate reporter
Del Dunn, at the crime scene.

INTERCUT WITH:
EXT. OLD COUNTRY ROAD - CRIME SCENE - DAY
DEL DUNN (30’s), tall, thin, striking
with a brunette bob stands
by the side of the road in a
short, tight suit holding a mike.

She looks into the camera.
Eyes flashing. Nods.

DEL
Kip --

KIP
So, Del. What’s the skinny?
Have you rooted out any intel
for us yet?

DEL
Indeed, Kip.
Although Venison’s finest
haven't given me squat,
this investigative reporter
has been sniffing out clues
like Andy Dick at a pharmacy --

KIP
That’s quite the colorful metaphor, Del.
So spill it. What did you find out?

DEL
Well, this hasn’t been confirmed yet,
but police have not ruled out
her boyfriend Willis Grub as a suspect --

KIP
Willis Grubb? That ne'er do well?
I thought she was dating the
football captain, Brent Brock --

DEL
Sometimes the heart wants
what the heart wants, Kip.
And even if you’re popular,
it can take you to a dark place.
(beat)
This is Del Dunn, coming to you live
at Old Country Road on
the outskirts of Venison, Ohio
in the heart of small town America.

CANDY
Thanks, Del. Quaint much?
(beat)
Next up, Delores DeVore has some
zesty recipes that’ll be sure to spice up
your next tailgate party --

Monday, March 14, 2016

Heavy Lifting


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, Vita tries on the outfit she bought to try and seduce Frankie, but doesn't feel comfortable in it. Meanwhile, Frankie convinces Josh to help move Shayla from his secret basement lab up into his treehouse because she feels 'trapped,' and wants 'a view' ...


INT. VITA’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Very dark.
Lit by a trio of candles on the dresser.
Some haunting new wave-goth classic
plays on the stereo.

We hear a rustling in the closet.
The door opens, and out steps --

VITA. Wearing the dress. And the shoes.
Looks scared. Uncomfortable.

She tentatively CLOMP-CLOMPS
over to the mirror.
Looks at herself. Sighs.

VITA
I look like a drag queen.

She plops down on the bed.
Puts her head in her hands.

VITA
I can’t DO IT.
(sobs)
What was I thinking?

INT. HIGH SCHOOL LUNCHROOM - DAY
The joint is packed with
LOUD STUDENTS eating lunch.

Gossiping, laughing, each clique
hanging out at their own table.

Frankie and Josh sit alone
in a far corner.

JOSH
So how was your first date?
(beat)
No, wait. Don’t answer that.
I don’t want to throw
up my Salisbury steak.

FRANKIE
It was so romantic --
(sighs)
I think I’m in love.

JOSH
In love? With a dead girl?

FRANKIE
She’s NOT dead. She’s -- different.

JOSH
Oh, she’s different, all right.

FRANKIE
There’s just one small problem --

JOSH
A problem? Like what? She’s COLD?
You have to keep her HIDDEN
because everybody’s LOOKING FOR HER?

FRANKIE
No, no, no.
She told me last night she wants
-- a view.
(off his look)
You know, a window.
She says the basement
makes her feel -- confined.

JOSH
No SHIT.

FRANKIE
C’mon, I’m serious.
I need you to help me move her up
into the tree house.

JOSH
No way. Sorry. I’m done playing Igor --

FRANKIE
Aw, c’mon -- please? I just need you
to help me do this one last thing,
and then I’ll never bring her up again.

JOSH
Well, that is unless she gets buried --

FRANKIE
Please, Josh.
You’re my best friend in the world.
You’re the only one I can turn to
in this dark hour of need.

JOSH
(sighs)
You know I’m not very strong --

FRANKIE
All I need you to do is be my look-out.
No heavy lifting. Just watch my back.

JOSH
What’s in it for me?

FRANKIE
My undying friendship?

JOSH
And -- ?

FRANKIE
I’ll give you my mint, still-in-the-box,
original Spock action figure.

JOSH
Lame. NEXT --

FRANKIE
What about my first edition Superman comic --

JOSH
Child’s play.

FRANKIE
How about -- my Xbox?

JOSH
Have one.
(realizes)
Hey. What about your
Jenna Jameson fleshlight?

FRANKIE
My WHAT?

JOSH
C’mon. Cough it up.
You don’t need it anymore.

FRANKIE
What makes you think I have --

JOSH
You showed it to me on New Year’s Eve
when we got drunk on apricot schnapps.

Pause.

FRANKIE
Oh, yeah --

JOSH
Just make sure it’s CLEAN, okay?

Friday, March 11, 2016

Local Color


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, Vita Heck gets the dress and shoes via FedEx that she wants to use to seduce science genius nerd Frankie Stein. Meanwhile, local cop Chet Beverage asks CDC agent Beck Driver if they can be 'partners.' ...


INT. VITA’S HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT
Vita comes in the front door.
Closes it. Looks tired. Beat.

PEGGY (O.C.)
Is that you, honey?

VITA
Hi, Mom --

Peggy appears as if by magic.

PEGGY
How was Math Club?

VITA
A fraction of what it used to be --

PEGGY
Oh, that’s FUNNY --
(smiles)
Your FedEx package arrived.

VITA
Oh, wow. Where did --

PEGGY
I put it on your bed.
What did you get?
(beat)
If you don’t mind my asking.

VITA
Just some -- stuff.

PEGGY
Oh. I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to pry.

VITA
(sighs)
A -- dress. And some -- shoes.

PEGGY
A DRESS? I used to have to FIGHT
to get you into a dress for church
when you were a little --
(off her stare, excited)
It’s Frankie Stein, isn’t it.
He finally asked you out --
(off her stare)
Oh, I’m sorry.
I’m butting in again.
You go on upstairs.
Dinner’ll be ready in
about half-an-hour. Okay?

PUSH IN ON Vita’s face.
Beyond humiliated.

VITA
Sure thing, mom. Can’t wait --

EXT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS - PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Beck walks briskly to her rental car.
Presses the key chain auto-lock, THWIP.
Chet appears out of nowhere.

CHET
Ms. Driver -- ?

BECK
Jesus fucking CHRIST.
You scared the shit out of me.

CHET
Sorry about that.

BECK
What do you want?
I’m tired and I just want
to go back to my bland,
suburban hotel room,
get drunk and watch some porn.

Chet stares. Wow.
A real ‘big city’ girl.

CHET
I just wanted to --
offer my services.

BECK
Sorry, doll -- hate to burst
your drool-bubble,
but you’re not my type.

CHET
Gosh, no -- I didn’t mean THAT.
I meant with the investigation.

BECK
Thanks, but no thanks.
I work alone.
(off his look)
No hard feelings, okay, champ?
I’m sure you need to go
patrol the diner, the pool hall --
maybe check on the sock hop.

CHET
Listen, lady -- I don’t know
what’s got your dander up,
but I was just trying to be helpful.
(beat)
Small town folks won’t take too kindly
to a big-city government agent
snooping around askin’ a lot questions --
(off her look)
Unless they have a
little local color with ‘em.

Pause.

BECK
Okay. Tell you what.
Meet me here tomorrow
morning at nine-sharp.
But let ME do all the talking,
capiche?

CHET
(beaming)
Sure thing. Thanks.
You won’t regret it.
You’ll see.
We’ll make a great team.

BECK
(rolls her eyes)
I have no doubt about that --

CHET
You got it. My pleasure.

BECK
Oh. One more thing.

CHET
Sure --

BECK
What the fuck’s a ‘dander?’

Thursday, March 10, 2016

A Room With A View


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, science genius nerd Frankie Stein and former head cheerleader Shayla Petrie, back from the dead, have their 'first date' ...


INT. FRANKIE’S BASEMENT LAB - NIGHT
The sickly-sweet shag-carpet
‘soft rock’ sound of Bread’s
I WANT TO MAKE IT WITH YOU over --

Frankie and Shayla, sitting at a
small card table having a candlelit dinner.

Frankie wears a sports coat.
Shayla, one of Frankie’s mother’s old dresses.

And tons of garish make-up, poorly applied.
She turns her head to look at something,
and the scarf that hides
her smashed-in skull slips off.

Frankie barely notices.

FRANKIE
So I said to Josh,
‘I said nitrate, NOT titrate.’

He chuckles, pleased with his joke.
Shayla cocks her head.
Pokes at her food with her fork.

SHAYLA
Don’t -- understand.

FRANKIE
Silly me. I’m sorry.
Let’s talk about something else --
(notices she hasn’t eaten)
You don’t like fish sticks?
I can fix you something else --

SHAYLA
I’m not -- hungry --
(strange smile)
For food.

FRANKIE
Oh.
(alarmed)
What ARE you hungry for?

SHAYLA
(goofy smile)
Hungry -- for you.

FRANKIE
Oh. Wow. Uh --
(clears throat)
Would you -- like some more wine?

He grabs his glass. DRAINS it.
She looks at hers.

SHAYLA
Had -- enough. Goes right -- to my head.

She clumsily stands up.
KNOCKS OVER her glass with a stiff arm.

It hits the cement floor and SMASHES.
She looks at the broken glass sadly.
Then her hand.

SHAYLA
I’m -- sorry.

FRANKIE
It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.

He gets up. Takes her hands in his.
Looks in her eyes tenderly.
Starts singing along.

FRANKIE
Life can be short or long,
love can be right or wrong --

SHAYLA
(cocks her head)
Have anything -- more upbeat?

FRANKIE
Uh, yeah -- sure.

He goes to the mini-stereo.
Starts rifling through the CD’s.

Shayla starts shuffling over
to her makeshift ‘bed.’

SHAYLA
I’ll be -- waiting --

Frankie GULPS. Chooses one. Puts it on. Punches PLAY.
We immediately recognize the opening strains of
Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s RELAX (DON’T DO IT).

He strikes a pose.

FRANKIE
(sings along)
Hey-EY, uh-huh --

Starts doing a strange dance to the music.
Part David Bowie, part Pee Wee Herman.

FRANKIE
Relax, don’t do it --
when you wanna get to it --

Shayla sits on the bed, watching him. Amused.
Starts pulling her dress up, revealing
the scars and injuries on her body.

A BULGE in his crotch starts GROWING.

FRANKIE
(whispers)
Holy shit --

He pulls out his wallet.
Digs out an ancient condom.

Shayla sees it. Giggles.
TOSSES her dress to the floor.

SHAYLA
Don’t need -- that.

FRANKIE
Oh, right.

He goes over to the bed,
still moving jerkily to the music.

FRANKIE
When you wanna come --
when you wanna COME --

Shayla grins lustily. Reaches over.
GRABS his crotch. His body JERKS.

Face goes WHITE. Shayla feels something.
Cocks her head. Looks at her hand.
Then at the stain on his jeans.

SHAYLA
So -- soon?

FRANKIE
Omigod. I’m SO SORRY.

SHAYLA
(brightly)
That’s -- okay. I’m -- used to it.

She starts getting back into her dress.
Frankie goes to the stereo. Shuts it off.

SHAYLA
You have -- a smoke?

FRANKIE
No, but I can get one. My mom smokes --

Shayla’s eyes wander around the room.

SHAYLA
No -- view.

FRANKIE
View?

SHAYLA
No -- windows.
(pouts)
I want -- a view.

FRANKIE
Windows --

SHAYLA
Yeah. Feel -- trapped.

FRANKIE
Well, we can’t have that.

He stares off into space, thinking. Then --

FRANKIE
I’ve GOT IT. It’ll be PERFECT. The TREE HOUSE.

SHAYLA
Tree -- house?

FRANKIE
Yeah.
(beat)
Can you say 'love nest?'

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Bringing Out The Dead


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, Center For Disease Control agent Beck Driver visits the city morgue to inspect the dead rat that science genius nerd Frankie Stein brought back to life ...


INT. VENISON POLICE HEADQUARTERS - DAY
The usual drab, puke-colored institutional joint.
Strange details scream out ‘built in the 70’s.’

A LARGE COP sits at the front desk
working a crossword puzzle.

Beck Driver MARCHES up to him briskly.

BECK
Excuse me --

LARGE COP
(eyes on the paper)
Gimme one sec --

BECK
Beck Driver, CDC, here to see
Officer Chet Beverage.

LARGE COP
(looks at her)
What’s a five-letter word for fat?

BECK
Obese.

LARGE COP
That’s IT.
(writes it down, looks up)
How may I help you?

BECK
Beck Driver, CDC, here to see
Officer Chet Beverage.

LARGE COP
Beck? Like the musician?

BECK
It’s short for Rebecca.
(low)
I’m here about the rat --

LARGE COP
Oh. That.
You need to go to the morgue.
Downstairs. I’ll have him
meet you down there.

Beck nods. Marches off.
Fat picks up the phone. Watches her.

LARGE COP
Nice rack.

INT. MORGUE - DAY
Cold, sterile.
Right out of Quincy.

Chet and Beck stand next to the
MEDICAL EXAMINER (50’s),
a tall, bird-like chap.

Wisps of white hair
fleck a bald head.
Piercing eyes like steel.

MEDICAL EXAMINER
Most unusual.
We don’t usually handle animals.

He goes to a steel drawer.
They follow him.

He slides it open to reveal --
a tangled mess of blood, bones and fur
in a glass case marked ‘biohazard.’

BECK
Jesus. What HAPPENED to it?

CHET
I shot it, but it kept coming at me.
I finally got the little fucker
by smashing his skull in
with my nightstick.

MEDICAL EXAMINER
I’ve never seen anything like it
in my entire career.
It was dead -- but still moving around.

BECK
And you know that from
examining a tissue sample?

MEDICAL EXAMINER
Indeed.
It died twelve hours
before the incident.

CHET
(looks at Beck)
What do you think?
How could this have happened?

BECK
It would seem that someone --
brought it back to life.

CHET
Brought it back --

MEDICAL EXAMINER
To LIFE?

BECK
Yeah.
I need to take it back
to Washington and
run some tests on it.

CHET
This used to be such
a sleepy little town.
Now all this crazy shit’s
going on.

BECK
What else is going on?

CHET
The head cheerleader was killed
in a hit and run and then abducted.

BECK
She was abducted
AFTER she was killed?

CHET
Yeah. What? You look -- strange.

BECK
If this means what I think it means --

MEDICAL EXAMINER
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

CHET
WHAT? Tell me.

PUSH IN ON Beck’s face. Eyes blazing.

BECK
We just might have a modern-day
Frankenstein on our hands --

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Dead Like Me


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, the media interviews students at Shayla's high school about her sudden disappearance. Meanwhile, the cops find the location where she was killed in a hit-and-run accident ... and then dragged to another vehicle and hauled away ...


EXT. SUBURBAN HIGH SCHOOL - FRONT LAWN - DAY
A horde of NEWS VANS are parked outside.
A few REPORTERS with CAMERA CREWS
are interviewing students.

A FAKE-SAD SHELLACKED HOTTIE REPORTER
thrusts a microphone into a fat girl’s
tear-streaked face.

FAKE-SAD SHELLACKED HOTTIE REPORTER
Did you know Shayla well?

FAT GIRL
No. But we all looked up to her.
She was so -- perfect.

FAKE-SAD SHELLACKED HOTTIE REPORTER
(nods, looks into the camera)
We still don’t know what happened
to little Shayla Petrie.
Perhaps it was an unhealthy
desire for perfection
that drew her to the dark side --

FRANKIE AND JOSH
Watch the hubbub from the front steps.

JOSH
Geez. They’re like vultures circling a fresh kill.

FRANKIE
That may be. But I’VE got the body, not them.

JOSH
The body? Don’t say that. It sounds -- creepy.

FRANKIE
Don’t be ridiculous. Shayla’s gotta great body.
(beat)
And I can’t wait to sample the merchandise.

JOSH
You mean you’re gonna --

PUSH IN ON Frankie’s face.
Libido racing with teenage hormones.

FRANKIE
Hey. There’s a first time for everything.

EXT. OLD COUNTRY ROAD - DAY
We recognize the spot where
Willis kicked Shayla out of the car.

And the curve in the road where she
was plowed over by the hit and run driver.

But instead of being isolated,
it’s now a CRIME SCENE.

A gaggle of CRIME TECHS
search the area for clues.

In the background is the same media circus,
now behind barricades,
kept back by a handful of
UNIFORMED OFFICERS.

Chet talks to the CHIEF OF POLICE,
a pasty-fasted big fella squeezed
like a sausage into a cheap suit.

Meet CAPPY WIND (50’s), Venison’s
low-rent version of the high command.

CHET
He’s kind of a fuck-up, chief.
But I don’t think he had anything
to do with her disappearance.
He was genuinely surprised
to find out she didn’t come home.

CHIEF WIND
But you said he acted kinda guilty.

CHET
Yeah, but not because of any foul play.
He wouldn’t admit that they’d been drinking,
but he told me she threw up
all over the inside of his vehicle.
(beat)
You know teenagers.

CHIEF WIND
Too well. But we got an anonymous tip
from someone who said he liked to hit her.
As of now, he’s our chief suspect.

An INTENSE-LOOKING TECH
looks up from his work

INTENSE-LOOKING TECH
We got bits of skull and brains here, chief.

CHIEF WIND
So she was definitely killed.

He nods.
Points at a spot on the side of the road.

INTENSE-LOOKING TECH
And we’ve got tire tracks
that show a vehicle
screeched to a stop here --
(points)
And there’s traces of blood here --
(points)
And these marks suggest that
a large object was dragged --
(points)
Over here.
And see here where they stopped?
The body was moved.

CHET
What do you think happened?

INTENSE-LOOKING TECH
If you ask me, she was hit by a car,
then dragged off into
another car and taken away.

CHET
Jesus CHRIST. Who the hell would do THAT?

CHIEF WIND
That’s what we’re gonna find out, son.
NOBODY steals the dead body
the head cheerleader in MY TOWN.
(mutters to himself)
That nubile, young flesh --

CHET
Of course not, sir.
(thinks)
Actually, uh -- I think they did. Sir.

CHIEF WIND
Shut up, Beverage. You know what I meant.
We’re gonna find the culprit, GOT IT?

CHET
Got it. Sir.

CHIEF WIND
And I’m putting YOU in charge of the case.

CHET
ME? Sir -- ?

CHIEF WIND
I want you to comb EVERY INCH
of this bucolic,
lower-middle-class paradise
and FIND this monster.

CHET
Yes, SIR.

CHIEF WIND
I want Mr. and Mrs. Venison to know
that we will HUNT DOWN
and BRING TO JUSTICE
anyone who DARES to kill and
abduct OUR objects of desire --

Monday, March 7, 2016

In Blonde We Trust


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 11 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, local cop Chet Beverage grills Shayla's boyfriend Willis Grub about her disappearance. Meanwhile, at the high school Shayla attended, both the jocks and the cheerleaders mourn her loss ...


EXT. WILLIS’ HOUSE - NIGHT
Chet Beverage stands at the door.
RINGS the bell. Wait a beat. RINGS again.

The door FLIES open. Willis stands there. Sees Chet.
Tries hard not to look freaked out. Fails.

WILLIS
Oh, hi -- officer. Is everything -- okay?

CHET
I just have some routine questions. Can I come in?

WILLIS
Uh -- yeah, sure.

INT. WILLIS’ HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Buck sits on the couch. Passed out in the dark.
Some old movie plays at a low volume on the TV.

WILLIS
Let’s go in the kitchen.

INT. WILLIS’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Chet takes a seat at the small kitchen table.
Willis stands, fidgeting. Looks very nervous.
And more than a little guilty.

WILLIS
So what’s up?

CHET
We got a call from Shayla’s parents.
She didn’t come home for dinner tonight.

WILLIS
She didn’t?

CHET
Her parents said she was with you
after school. Was she?

WILLIS
Yeah. We were just -- hanging out.
Driving around, you know --

CHET
If you didn’t take her home afterwards,
where did she go?

WILLIS
I don’t know.
(carefully)
We had a -- a fight.

CHET
About what?

WILLIS
She puked all over the inside my car,
and I -- got mad and kicked her out.

CHET
And you just drove away?

WILLIS
Yeah.
(beat)
I was mad. The truck is almost BRAND-NEW,
and now it smells like puke.

CHET
Where did you drop her off?

WILLIS
Out by Old Country Road.

CHET
Were you drinking?

WILLIS
Of course not.

CHET
Could you show us where it was?

WILLIS
Right now?

CHET
Right now.

PUSH IN ON Willis’ face.
Quietly freaking out.

WILLIS
Uh, yeah -- sure.

INT. SUBURBAN HIGH SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY
Students stream down the hallway carrying books.
Most of them looks sad, in shock, lost.

A pair of STONERS stand in
front of the water fountain.

They sport the standard ripped jeans
and Metallica T-shirt uniform.
You can practically smell them on the page.

ACNE-SCARRED STONER
Dude. It’s The case of the missing snatch.
What do you think happened to her?

FRIZZY-HAIRED STONER
I dunno. It’s a loss to humanity, bro.
That was some righteous pink taco.

ACNE-SCARRED STONER
(nods solemnly)
In blonde we trust.

CAMERA finds a group of NERDS
huddling around a locker.

BIG GLASSES NERD
She was swallowed into a space-time
continuum, I tell you.

AFRICAN-AMERICAN NERD
God, are you stupid.
She probably just ran away
from home or something.

BALD NERD
Maybe she got KIDNAPPED
and sold into white slavery.

BIG GLASSES NERD
Maybe she got sucked into a black hole.

AFRICAN-AMERICAN NERD
Hey. Who you calling a BLACK HOLE?

CAMERA WHOOSHES OVER to a pair of jocks
walking down the hallway. Heads hung low.
Trying to process the information.

RED-FACED JOCK
So -- is it still okay to jerk off over her?

TALL JOCK
I dunno.
(low, to himself)
What a waste of such major boobage --

RED-FACED JOCK
Maybe I can dry-hump Nicole --
and think about her?

TALL JOCK
NICE.

They SLAP PALMS.

RED-FACED JOCK
Gone, but still jizzed-on.

CAMERA glides away. Finds Shayla’s cheerleader friends
AURA and AMBER. Teary-eyed, they hustle down the hall.

AMBER
I don’t understand. Where did she GO?

AURA
I feel -- empty, like when I got kicked off Facebook --

AMBER
Yeah. It’s like you texted someone,
and they didn’t text back.

They look at each other. SHRIEK.
RUN into the girls’ room.

CAMERA finds Frankie and Josh,
walking toward the exit.

JOSH
I dunno, Frankie. Maybe we should confess.
It doesn’t feel right.

FRANKIE
Yeah, right. What are we supposed to say?
She’s dead, but I brought her back to life
and she’s down in my basement?

JOSH
I had bad dreams last night, Frankie.
I’m not sure if I can handle this.

FRANKIE
HANDLE this? You HAVE to handle this.
She’s mine now, and I’m not going to let her go.

JOSH
But she’s DEAD, Frankie. She’s DEAD.
What good is she to you like that?

FRANKIE
GOOD to me? Tonight’s our first date --

Friday, March 4, 2016

Dead Or Alive


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, police officer Chet Beverage interviews Adelle and Brub Petrie about their missing daughter Shayla. Meanhwile, down in his basement lab, Frankie prepares to bring Shayla back to life ...


INT. PETRIE HOME - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Brub and Adelle sit on the couch.
Chet Beverage sits across from them
on a big, overstuffed chair.
Jots down notes.

CHET
And you say she’s never late for dinner?

BRUB
NEVER. Our daughter is a model citizen.
She was PUMPKIN QUEEN --

ADELLE
(dabs her eyes with a tissue)
And the head cheerleader --
(sniffles)
We’re so WORRIED about her.

She HONKS on her tissue.

CHET
Oh, I know. I haven’t missed a game.
She’s -- lovely.

BRUB
You need to FIND her, officer, NOW.
Something TERRIBLE could have happened to her.

CHET
Well, we can’t file a missing persons report
until twenty-four hours have passed --

BRUB
But we can’t WAIT twenty-four hours --

CHET
Not to worry, Mr. Petrie. I can still do
little unofficial snooping around on my own.

ADELLE
Oh, THANK GOD. Thank you, officer Beverage.

CHET
Please. Call me Chet.
(off her weak smile)
Is Shayla dating anybody right now?
That might be a good avenue to explore --

BRUB
Yes, she is. Willis Grubb, that low-life.
Crazy girl broke up with Brent Brock,
the football captain --

ADELLE
AND prom king --

BRUB
To go out with HIM.

CHET
I see.
(stands up)
Well, thank you for letting us know.
I’ll go check on Willis, and tomorrow
we’ll start our investigation.
Don’t worry, we’ll find your daughter,
dead or alive --

ADELLE
(BURSTS into tears)
DEAD or alive?

Brub GLARES at him. CLENCHES his fists.

BRUB
GET OUT. Get out RIGHT NOW.
You’re upsetting my WIFE.

CHET
Ohmigosh, I’m so sorry. I, I -- didn’t mean --
(beat)
I’m gonna go now.

He nods. Hurries out the door.
Brub rushes over to Adelle.
Tries to comfort her.

BRUB
Don’t worry, my little flower.
They’ll find her.

PUSH IN ON Adelle’s face. Now livid.

ADELLE
They fucking BETTER.

INT. FRANKIE’S BASEMENT LAB - NIGHT
Shayla lies on the workbench.
All the blood has been cleaned off.
She looks almost peaceful.

A scarf now drapes where the
side of her head was smashed in.

Wires have been attached to

various points on her body.
He attaches one on her right temple,
then her left. Done.

FRANKIE
Now it’s time to find out
if we have chemistry --

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Dead Weight


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, Willis returns back to his shitty home on the wrong side of the tracks feeling guilty about his big fight with Shayla. Meanwhile, Frankie and Josh transport Shayla's dead body into Frankie's secret basement lab ...

EXT. SHITTY, RUN-DOWN HOUSE - NIGHT
On the wrong side of the tracks.
If there WERE tracks. The cheap seats.
Threadbare lawn. Grey picket fence.
Sagging foundation.

A dim light flickers behind dirty windows.
Willis’ truck pulls into the driveway. Parks.

INT. WILLIS FAMILY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Like the carpet and drapes,
it matches the outside.

Piles of pizza boxes, newspapers,
empty beer cans litter the joint.

Willis’ father BUCK (40’s),
fat and sloppy, sits on the shitty,
faded couch watching a ball game.

Wolfing down a TV dinner
with a bottle of cheap beer.
Willis walks in.

WILLIS
Hey, pop.

BUCK
(eyes on the screen)
Hey, kid. You’re home kinda late --

WILLIS
I was hanging out with Shayla.

BUCK
Picked up some of those
Hungry Man dinners.
They’re in the freezer.
Help yourself.
Have two if you want.
They were on special --

WILLIS
Thanks.

He starts walking to the kitchen.

BUCK
Oh, and your mother called.
Said you could stay a few more days.
She’s gonna work in Vegas awhile longer.

WILLIS
(over his shoulder)
Cool.

INT. WILLIS FAMILY HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
‘Bare bones’ would be a compliment.
Willis puts a TV dinner in the microwave.
Turns it on. Looks around guiltily.

WILLIS
(under his breath)
Fucking bitch --

INT. FRANKIE’S VOLKSWAGON - NIGHT
Frankie and Josh roll up Shayla
in a brightly-colored bed sheet.
Frankie looks at it. Makes a face.

FRANKIE
Spiderman sheets?

JOSH
Shut up. They’re from when I was a kid.

FRANKIE
I bet you still sleep on them.

JOSH
Fuck you. C’mon. Let’s move it.
I don’t wanna get caught.

EXT. FRANKIE’S HOUSE - SIDE YARD - NIGHT
Frankie and Josh carry Shayla’s
wrapped-up body around the
side of the house toward the back door.

INT. FRANKIE’S HOUSE - BACK YARD - NIGHT
Frankie sets down his end.
Reaches for the back door knob.

FRANKIE
(looks around)
So far so good. No one’s seen us --

JOSH
Thank god. She’s fucking heavy.
Come on, hurry it up.

In the window, a light
TURNS ON in the kitchen.

FRANKIE
Shit. DUCK DOWN.

Josh DROPS Shayla. Gets down.
She hits the grass with a THUD.

JULIE’S FACE
Appears in the window. Looks around.
Shrugs. Disappears. The lights SHUT OFF.

FRANKIE AND JOSH
Breath a sigh of relief. Pick her back up.

JOSH
Jeez. Now I know how Dexter feels.

FRANKIE
Enough wisecracks, Igor.
Let’s get her down to the dungeon.

INT. FRANKIE’S BASEMENT LAB - NIGHT
Shayla lies on a makeshift bed.

An inflatable mattress on top of a
piece of plywood on a couple of sawhorses
covered by the Spiderman sheet.

She looks like some kind of ungodly doll.
The left side of her head looks fine.
Face still pretty.

But the right side has been
smashed in and flattened.
Skull exposed.

And she’s pretty much COVERED in blood.

JOSH
She doesn’t look so good anymore, Frankie.

FRANKIE
Nonsense. We’ll get her cleaned up,
maybe put a nice scarf around her head.
Get one of my mom’s old dresses.
She’ll look great.

JOSH
It’s late. I’m gonna split.

FRANKIE
(still staring at her)
Okay. Thanks for all the help.

Josh nods. Starts for the stairway.

JOSH
See you tomorrow in school.

But Frankie’s entranced. Ignores him.

JOSH
Be sure to wear protection.
(off his silence)
Whatever.

He leaves. Frankie leans down
and kisses Shayla on the cheek.

FRANKIE
You’re mine now. All mine.
Forever and ever --

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Goth Lite


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, Frankie and Josh make plans to move Shayla's dead body into his basement lab later that night. Meanwhile, Vita searches online for a cute dress to get Frankie's attention ...


EXT. STEIN RESIDENCE - NIGHT
A small, plain four-bedroom colonial job
just like all the others on the street.
Frankie’s car pulls into the driveway.

INT. FRANKIE’S VOLKSWAGON - NIGHT
Frankie parks the car.
Turns and looks at Josh.

FRANKIE
We can’t move her now.
We have to wait until
my mom is asleep.

JOSH
WE?

FRANKIE
C’mon. I need your help.
We’re in this together.

JOSH
We ARE?

FRANKIE
You just helped me remove a dead body
from the scene of an accident.
If that’s not in this together,
I don’t know what is.

JOSH
(sighs)
What time should I be here?

FRANKIE
Midnight.

JOSH
Should I bring anything?

FRANKIE
If you find your balls,
might help.

Josh rolls his eyes.
Opens the car door.

JOSH
Very funny.

FRANKIE
Hey, come on.
I’m just messing with you.
Thanks for helping me out.
I owe you one.
You’re my best friend.

JOSH
Are you TRYING to scare me?

INT. VITA’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
The Cure’s queasy, plaintive,
over-the-top romantic dirge
PICTURES OF YOU plays
on the stereo over --

Dark, like a cave.
Candles burning.

Horror movie and goth rock band
posters dot the walls.

Vita sits at her desk,
cruising the web.

She picks up her cell.
Punches a number.

VITA
Imogene -- ?
(listens)
Yeah, It’s me.
We’re not playing tonight.
(listens)
I’ve got this gnarly cold.
I’ve been coughing up chunks.
(listens)
Yeah. I’ve called the others --
(listens)
Yep. We’re on for next week.
(listens)
Beware The Phantom Brigade.

She CLICKS the phone shut.
Shakes her head.

Starts working the mouse
and keyboard.

ON THE SCREEN
We see the HOT TOPIC website.
Vita clicks on APPAREL.

Then DRESSES. An array of
cute black dresses appear.
Goth-lite.

VITA
Scrunches up her face.

Moves the mouse.
Examines the choices.
Then see one she likes. Beams.

VITA
Black chiffon skull tube
ruffle dress, here we come.

ON THE SCREEN
She adds it to her shopping cart.

VITA (O.C.)
Okay, now for some shoes --

A page of cool shoes appears.
Boots. Wedges. High heels.

VITA (O.C.)
Zebra platform heels? COOL.

VITA
Smiles. Fingers CLACK-CLACK
across the keyboard.

VITA
When the going gets tough --
the tough buy shit online.

She CLICKS the mouse. PUNCHES ‘send.’
She gets up from the desk.

Goes to the window.
Looks out at Frankie’s house.

VITA
Watch out, Frankie Stein --
there’s a new archetype in town.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Picture-Perfect


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, we meet head cheerleader Shayla Petrie's parents Adelle and Brub, who are waiting for her to come home from school at dinner time. Meanwhile, science genius nerd Frankie Stein and his BFF Josh transport Shayla's body to Frankie's secret basement lair ...


INT. SUBURBAN HOME - KITCHEN - DAY
Suzy Homemaker’s dream come true.
riot of stainless steel and off-white
in the heart of suburbia.
Top Chef, ahoy.

A WOMAN (40’s), pert, smiling, very attractive
is studiously cooking at the stove.

She tastes the sauce with a wooden spoon.
Mmm. Delicious. Got Milf?

Meet ADELLE PETRIE, Shayla’s mom.
The perfect wife, mother, bookkeeper,
maid, chauffeur.
You know the drill.

ADELLE
(calls into the next room)
Dinner’s almost ready, honey.
Did Shayla get home yet?
I didn’t hear her come in --

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Not yet.
You want me to call her on her cell?

BRUB PETRIE (40’s), Shayla’s father walks in.
Tall and fit, with rugged good-looks.
Right out of a Sears catalogue.

I mean, could this family be more
picture-perfect or what?

ADELLE
I’m sure she’ll be along in a sec.
She’s NEVER late for dinner --

BRUB
Gosh, honey.
That’s smells terrific.
Is that a new recipe?

ADELLE
How’d you guess?

BRUB
When it comes to your cooking,
I’ve got a nose for adventure.

ADELLE
Oh, YOU. Do me a favor
and set the table for dinner?

BRUB
Of course, my love.
Anything for you.

They gaze at each other
with undying love.

Brub suddenly SHITS HIS PANTS
with a ROAR OF FLATULENCE.

ADELLE
(waves her hand in the air)
Jesus fucking Christ, Brub.
Get the fuck out of here,
you’re shitting up the KITCHEN.

BRUB
Don’t use that tone
with me, BETTY CROCKER.
You want the belt again?

ADELLE
Oh, go ahead, Mr. Macho.
Why don’t you just fucking HIT me?
I told you to wear fucking Depends,
but NO -- Mr. Irritable Bowel Syndrome
just HAS to ruin his new Dockers.

Brub glowers.
Storms over to the doorway.
Over his shoulder.

BRUB
I’m going to take a shower,
and when I come back, dinner
BETTER be served. Capiche?

Adelle blinks.
Cocks her head.
Smiles brightly.

ADELLE
Sure thing, honey-bun.
Comin’ up in jiffy.

INT. FRANKIE’S VOLKSWAGON - NIGHT
Frankie drives. Mind reeling.
Deep in thought.

Josh stares out the window.
Miserable.

JOSH
So where are you going to put her?

FRANKIE
In my basement lab, of course.

JOSH
Are you fucking KIDDING me?
That’s crazy.
Your mom will find her.

FRANKIE
No, she won’t.
She’s forbidden to go down there.
It’s my domain. It’s not just my lab,
it’s also my room, where I sleep.

JOSH
You’re going to sleep in the
same room as a DEAD BODY?

FRANKIE
She’s not going to be dead
very long, Josh.

JOSH
Yeah. That’s what I’m AFRAID of --