Friday, June 6, 2014

Death Becomes Her


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 5 of THE DISH, star-crossed lovers Haven Crayce and Jett Targo make a pact to kill Haven's husband Dart, a retired film noir director ... and run away with his life savings ...


INT. HOUSEBOAT - DART’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
He lies in bed.
Breakfast tray on his lap.
Watching TV.

ON THE SCREEN
we see a biography of Humphrey Bogart.

ROBERT OSBOURNE (O.C.)
Bogart got his big break on High Sierra,
co-starring Ida Lupino.
It was in this picture that Bogart,
playing an escaped convict,
was able to show his soft side,
when he takes a shine to a crippled girl,
and pays for an operation that will --

IN THE MAIN CABIN
Jett and Haven lie on the couch.
In each other’s arms.

HAVEN
I’m sorry that was so fast.
I haven’t --
(beat)
Made love in a while.

JETT
How -- long?

Haven BURSTS into tears.
Hangs onto Jett for dear life.

JETT
(puts arms around her)
Hey, now -- it’s okay.
I’m sorry I asked.
It’s none of my business.

Haven JERKS away.
Eyes full of fury.

HAVEN
We haven’t had sex in FOUR YEARS,
since his diabetes got worse
and we moved onto this fucking BOAT.
I was his nurse, see --
and then he married me.
I thought it would
help my acting career --
but then he got sick, and,
and -- it got all FUCKED UP.

JETT
I know all about that.
Sometimes you have to do
whatever it takes
to get what you want.
But sometimes it just --
doesn’t work out.
(beat)
And then you’re fucked.

Haven stares at her. Blinking.

HAVEN
EXACTLY.
And now he treats me like shit,
orders me around,
won’t let me have any friends,
won’t let me LEAVE.
Everthing is delivered.
I can only go out to walk the dog.
I’m a fucking PRISONER.
I’m SUFFOCATING, and I can’t
TAKE IT anymore.
(low, urgent)
I wish he would DIE.

JETT
Shhh. You shouldn’t talk like that.

The bell RING-RING-RINGS.

HAVEN
(looks at her watch)
Shit, it’s time.

JETT
Go see what he wants.
I’ll wait here.

HAVEN
(slowly gets up, stands)
I know what he wants.
(beat)
It’s time for his -- hand job.

JETT
His what?

HAVEN
Right before we start
the dialysis machine,
I have to jerk him off,
so he’ll fall asleep.
He says it relaxes him.
(beat)
Fucking Viagra.

JETT
Every day?
How old IS he?

Haven goes to the door.

HAVEN
Too old to live.
(beat)
Don’t go?
(off Jett’s nod)
Think about what I said --
(scowling)
And think about what
I have to go do right now.

And she’s gone.

PUSH IN ON Jett’s face.
Scared to death.

JETT
What have I -- ?

Jett goes to the bar.
Looks at the framed pictures of Dart
with various Hollywood stars of old.

DART AND CARY GRANT
playing golf.

Cary and GRACE KELLY
watch him put.

WITH JANE GREER
directing her and Robert Mitchum.

She’s behind the wheel
of a big Cadillac.

He’s got a gun.
They’re all laughing.

DART AND FRANK SINATRA
at a swanky nightclub in Vegas
with Dean, Sammy, Joey and Peter.

Watching him blow out birthday candles
on a big cake.

IN DART’S BEDROOM
he lies in bed, eyes closed.

Haven’s arm is under the covers,
slowly going up and down.
Her face a dark storm cloud.

IN THE MAIN CABIN
Jett goes to a cabinet.
Opens a door, revealing --

An OSCAR. Best Director.
Coated with a thin layer of dust.

She gingerly picks it up.
Blows on it. Raises it up.

Does an arm curl. Stops.
Looks at her reflection in the glass.

JETT
(softly)
I’d like to thank the Academy --

HAVEN (O.C.)
Thank god you’re still here.

Jett quickly puts the Oscar back,
embarrassed.

JETT
Sorry, I --

HAVEN
You know how many times
I’ve wanted to smash him over the head
with that goddamn Oscar?

JETT
(scared)
You shouldn’t -- say things like that.

HAVEN
You shouldn’t do a lot of things, Jett.
But it’s all I can think about.
I have to get out of here.
I’m going insane.
(goes to Jett, grabs her)
He’s rich, Jett.
Filthy, stinking rich.
Think about what you and I
could do with all that money.
Go away somewhere.
Start a new life.
Be together. Be happy.
(tears in her eyes)
I haven’t been happy
in a long time, Jett.
And then I met you.
And then everything started
to fall into place.
I could see daylight
after so much darkness.
(a sob)
So much darkness --

Haven buries her face in Jett’s chest.
Softly sobs. Jett comforts her.

Looks around the room.
Clearly confused.

JETT
So -- how much is he worth?

HAVEN
(pulls away, excited)
Then you’ll do it?

JETT
How much?

HAVEN
A few million.
He’s got about --
eight hundred thousand in the bank.

JETT
Eight hundred thousand?

HAVEN
So you’ll do it?

JETT
I need to -- think about it.

But Haven won’t take no for an answer.
She slides off her top.

Presses her chest against Jett’s.
Sucks on her ear.

HAVEN
Please, Jett. I need you.
Don’t you want to be with me?

JETT
(swimming)
Y-yes -- I do --

HAVEN
(kisses her neck)
Aren’t you tired of training
fat, rich, yuppie assholes?

JETT
God, yes.

Haven’s hand slides down
to Jett’s zipper.
Slowly rubs it.

HAVEN
And do you want me to keep
JERKING OFF the sonofabitch?
EVERY DAY?

JETT
(delirious)
Of course not!

HAVEN
Then will you do it? For me?
(beat)
For us?

JETT
(closes her yes)
I’ll do it.
(beat)
I’ll do it.

Haven SQUEEZES Jett, embraces her.

HAVEN
Ohmigod, YES.
Thank you, baby. Thank you.

JETT
But it has to be perfect.
We have to plan this carefully.
Everything is at stake.
One little mistake --

HAVEN
We’ll be careful.

JETT
(realizes, looks at watch)
Oh, shit -- I’ve got another client.
I’m going to be LATE.

HAVEN
(kisses Jett)
Then go, baby.
I’ll see you -- tomorrow?

JETT
(smiles)
Tomorrow.
(goes to the door)
We’re -- really doing this.

HAVEN
(eyes flashing)
Together.

Jett smiles. Turns.

JETT
Together.

And she’s gone.

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